To go on holiday on my own?

[LucySullivanIsGettingMarried]

In the past 3 years DH has been on four stag holidays and lads weekends away for special occasions. Each holiday has been at least 4 days, some have been more. It would be more if it hadn't have been for Covid lockdowns and travel restrictions. He also goes out to the pub every Friday night and does sports all day every Saturday.

I have told him I'm going to go off on my own for a holiday in the new year as I feel like it's my turn to have some time to myself, and he seems to think I'm being unreasonable and wonders why I want to go on a holiday when we have a family holiday each year.

AIBU? We have two DC, ages are 12 and 17. Also, has anyone got any good suggestions for winter sunshine holidays?

You are totally not being unreasonable. You should definitely go and your DH is being a hypocrite. Not sure where however. I’ve never had a winter holiday!

Seville. It's beautiful, & would be around 18C, so warm but not horrendous.

And, no, you're not being unreasonable. What's good for the goose & all that...

Lots of great places for winter sun!

I think you truly deserve a holiday.

I’m off at the beginning of December and DH didn’t bat an eyelid and paid for my flights! No questions asked.

Thanks all! Seville sounds nice. I love Spain.

@BluebellsGreenbells where are you off to on your holiday?

It’s because he sees his trips as a duty that he has to go on whereas a holiday alone is a slight against your family (he’s totally wrong).

Yadnbu. I’m going away for a couple of nights to recharge although DH doesn’t really go anywhere overnight socially.

I was thinking of going to the Maldives as every time I mention to DH I'd like to go there he vetoes it as a holiday destination, and I'd really love to go

Can I come? I really want to go to Costa Rica in Jan but DH is being v dull and stick in the muddy about it.
Seriously thinking of going alone or with a friend

Maldives is my absolute favourite place in the world

@Mumblechum0

Can I come? I really want to go to Costa Rica in Jan but DH is being v dull and stick in the muddy about it. Seriously thinking of going alone or with a friend

Costa Rica sounds nice! My friend went there a few years ago and loved it

Can I come???

Definitely not unreasonable, do you live Aus/NZ way? Maldives would be too far from the U.K. unless you had 10'days or so. I go away at least once a year for 4 nights on my own and the only discussion is if the dates work for the family. If they don't I pick another date, but I go, on my own, and it's glorious.

I went on an amazing solo surf and yoga retreat in Dominican Republic. Happy to send you the details. It was A-mazing!

Book an amazing holiday, you deserve it.

How much time do you have?

I’d personally go for the Maldives if you have a minimum of 5 nights or so, but I’m someone who loves planes and airports so I consider that part of the holiday. Others wouldn’t want to travel that far for less than 10/14 days.

Otherwise, south of mainland Spain, Canaries, anywhere in Italy, New York/Boston?

Go for a minimum of 10 days and that way you can do something he would never do (Maldives, African safari, skiing, Mexico...) and you still won't have been away as long as he has altogether. He is being a hypocrite and putting his value and freedom higher than yours.

Also, pick something you absolutely want to do as a holiday and stick to it. Family time and money is fine for him to be in deficit of, but not you. What an arse.

Sounds amazing.

I'm so jealous op.

I love being on my own. We can't afford a holiday for me after we've paid for our family one.

I'd go anywhere. Anywhere I could lie in the sun, read all day then sit on a balcony with wine, some picky food and continue reading.

Very jealous as I've said. What will you do while your away? Will you just chill it will you go on day trips etc.

I have a colleague who goes to Dubai for Christmas every year.
It's very safe for loan female travelers as well as having great hotels, shops restaurants

Tell him to fuck off and book somewhere for yourself.
I'm tempted to do the same right now (but would probably only be a weekend in Bognor).

@rainbowstardrops maybe we should house swap for a week although not sure where I'd send my DH and dd

Sounds amazing, do it!

Why does he think he’s entitled to all these weekends away & you’re not? Can he actually explain this bizarre double standard he’s invented in his own mind because it makes no sense whatsoever.

When I was a child my DM had a friend who was Mum to 5 boys, so she was hugely outnumbered in her household. 3 of the boys were in high level sports, so weekends and evenings were dominated by training and matches, she also had a full time job as a Nurse. She worked bloomin' hard!

Each year, once her youngest son had started school, she would take one week every summer and go and have a holiday - all on her own! She loved her DH and her sons, but having that one week each year to herself helped her to recharge. Marvellous idea I think - go for it OP!

I'm going to Dubai myself for a long weekend in Feb. Love a solo trip!