I don't want to and will probably get flamed but I'm sick with stress and not sure what to do . Kicked husband of 15 years out for infidelity and drugs , he was doing cocaine and sleeping around for 2 years without my knowledge. Since he moved out he's only seen the children here in the family home , it's supposed to be 3 times a week but he isn't consistent and hasnt seen them at a weekend for over 6 weeks . I wouldn't trust him to have them on his own and he never had them on his own when we were together (he isn't asking for more contact either ) , one child has additional needs that he doesn't cope well with . I feel like he's spiralling with drink and drugs - I've had 5 plus people tell me recently that they think he's a problem and they wouldn't have him around the kids. This is people that have seen him out or what he's been posting online (I'm not on social media thankfully)
I find him reckless and irresponsible, also a bit frightening. He has threatened to top himself when he's not got his own way- he has also been aggressive and threatening towards me in the past , I logged one incident with the police after he'd left but played it down as I felt guilty for calling them - looking back it was in some ways an emotionally abusive relationship towards the end .
I've been on hold for 3 hours to 101 to update them and try to get some advice but just got cut off . My problem now is it makes me feel uneasy when he's here , the man he is now isn't someone I would chose to have around the children , he's unstable , unpredictable and can be very intimidating. He's fallen asleep during contact and got very agitated when I've woken him and threatened to not come and see them again - upsetting for them ! He's not a good dad or a good role model and if he is in fact getting more involved with drink and drugs then I don't want the kids around him . I just don't know what to do , do I wait until he slips up while he's here ? Do I tell him he should stay away until he's sorted himself out ? I would never know if he was on something - and all I really have to go on is hearsay / rumours . Any advice or signposting would be greatly appreciated, my friend said call children's services see what they say . We are not in court over contact or anything , it's just what we initially agreed . I don't feel like I can just say he can't see them anymore , but I'm not happy about him being here . There's no family that could facilitate contact and I don't have any suggestions for how he could see them that doesn't involve coming here . I don't know 😵💫 he's really not that fussed about them - but I don't want to be the woman that stops a father seeing his kids . Sorry this is a bit rambled I'm rushing coz need to get kids in bed . Thanks in advance anyway x