To not want to move out of my family home...

[pr0crastinating]

Somewhat lightheartee and fully prepared to be told to grow up!

I am nearly 25, graduated last year and now have a full time job in my field. I am planning on moving out in the new year but am really starting to dread it. I love being independent, and lived away at uni fine, but the thought of leaving permanently is horrifying. I love my parents to bits, my mum is my best friend. The thought of not seeing her every day is really strange to me...I love getting home from work and having a chat with her about our day, or going for walks in the evening after dinner. This is home, I don't think anywhere else can ever feel like this does. Am I just overthinking it and being really childish! I want my mum to come with me

Why are you moving out?

Moving in with my partner. And I suppose I just feel like I should now...Im the last of my friends still at home

Aw love this! I had/have a terrible relationship with my ‘mum’ and moved out at 17, but have a lovely relationship with my daughter, I’d feel I’d done an alright job if she posted this 😍

What is your parents attitude to you there ? I think this is so lovely, I will be thrilled if DD feels the same as we just love having her around.

Awww, that's so cute that you and your mum are such good friends.

You're not moving far away from her I take it?

It will be odd for a while, but you will get used to it. And at least you have a partner. It's much harder alone!

It's a big step, and a scary step! Are you moving very far away from Mum?

Move your partner in instead?

There is no rush, you can stay home longer if you want. What others do is nothing to think about.

Op that's very sweet and cherish that relationship.
I felt like that also and was massively pressured by older siblings to move out etc even though my dm had no one and told me she was lonely.
She was dead a year later and I'm very thankful we had that relationship and time.

That's lovely.

I don't know why you are moving in with your partner if you are not ready.

Better to defer a year than rush into something you are not ready for.

Moving in with someone should be an exciting time.

Doing something like moving in with someone because you "feel you should", is really not the motivation you should be acting on.

Maybe pause it for 6 months.

I remember the first few months living with my now husband being really home sick. I'd only been back with my parents for about 4 months following my undergrad, but the adjustment was really tough. I think it comes down to whether you're really excited and ready to live with your partner, but feeling some natural unease around a big transition out of a happy environment, or whether you're rushing into something that doesn't feel quite right yet.

Would your parents mind if you stayed longer? If not, I’d just stay! Put the boyfriend off for a bit. It will also show you if he’s worth having, ie if he’s happy to wait.

Awww that is lovely to hear, sounds like you and your mum have a lovely relationship, hope my daughter feels the same when it’s her turn to move out.

Thank you all for your kind replies, very reassuring. Parents are very happy with me at home so no pressure from them...and wouldn't be going far, within an hour tops. I think its just such a big change and it's weird! Pushing It back a few months doesn't sound like a bad idea, If I'm honest I don't think I'm ready quite yet, as much as I love my boyfriend.

Alternatively...we find a 2 bed flat and mumma comes with me! We can visit my dad on weekends he'll be fine...might suggest that tomorrow...think it could work for us all ;)

Such a lovely post… if my daughter wrote something like this on a public forum I would feel like I had completed motherhood! It’s so nice that you have enjoyed a happy home life and you will always have those memories and your parents home to go back to. Best wishes for your move, apprehension is perfectly normal but it will all be fine x

I’d be more than happy if all my kids felt like this when they were 25. Of course there will come a time when you want to move out but doesn’t mean you have to be far away.

This is lovely. I felt the same. When I moved out with now dh (about two miles down the road ) I cried. We’re still really close. I’m just so lucky to have ace parents.

Your mum will miss you too! It's four years since my youngest moved out, but I miss them all and love when they come back for weekends.

Bless. How lovely. I cried every night for a month when I moved out and she was 2 miles away and I went round 3 times a week.

I felt exactly the same. So I only moved 3 miles down the road and I still see or talk to her everyday.
I can remember crying the first day in my own home, going back to see my mum that day and saying it doesn't feel like home but after a few weeks, it did and it was so lovely to have my own space with my now husband.

Are u guys renting or buying? If renting then maybe stay at home longer to save. Your boyfriend should understand this and it gives you more reason to stay at home plus u will be saving ££££ to eventually buy a place

I cannot relate to this at all, but it's great you have a close relationship with your mum.

Your suggestion at moving your mum into your flat, then visiting your Dad at weekends- how would your Dad feel about this and your boyfriend? That crosses the line onto too much for me.

Do you have good relationships with friends?

@Pysgodywibliwobli she was joking.

Aw this was me, many moons ago. My mammy was my best pal. I moved out when I got married but I missed her soooo much! She's gone now over 15 years and I still miss her.