To not let my 10 year old play Fortnite?

[TheSharpertheJuice]

The time has come where my DS is no longer content playing Minecraft with his friends in their own little space online- they’ve all moved on to Fortnite but I’ve not read an awful lot of positives about it (especially for his age!) so have said ‘no’… now he has nobody to play with during his couple of hours computer time, they talk about it at school and he can’t join in, and I’m worried that my rules are going to cause him a tough time…
For what it’s worth, they play football together and outside games too but their current topic of interest is definitely more computery of late.
Unsure how to proceed- I don’t want to make his life difficult but also don’t like what I’m reading about this game!

YABU - let him play, so he doesn’t become ostracised
YANBU - the game isn’t appropriate and just because his friends do it doesn’t mean he should too

Just let him play nothing bad will happen. Kids were playing more violent arcade games in the 80’s and they didn’t all turn into maniacs.

I don't let my kids play any games with guns in.

My MIL was the same, her son joined an infantry unit in the Army

I think you’re basing your decision on hearsay. Have you actually looked at the game? I was put off based on hearsay too but reluctantly let my DS download it so I could take a look. I was surprised that it was fine. Yes they have to kill opponents but pretty sure I used to kill baddies when I played Aladdin on my mega drive as a kid! Literally no different.

The one thing I will say is that it’s a very fast paced game and can cause them to feel adrenalised and stimulated - therefore definitely put a ban on playing anytime near bedtime. Also, it can cause them to be competitive - so any nasty competitive arguments with their friends, it gets banned.

My son knows he is not allowed to argue with anyone over fortnite and he’s only allowed to play for short agreed times (not near bedtime) and we have had zero problems. He really enjoys it.

Let him play Fortnite. There isn’t any bad about the game and not allowing him to play will negatively impact his friendships and social interaction at school unfortunately.

There’s a definite Fortnite Phase, and age 10 is right in the middle of it. I think it’s a bit daft to ban it because it might be addictive - as others have said, set your boundaries of how long he can play it for, or on which days, or whatever. And we had a (general, not fortnite specific) rule of “if you make a big fuss about finishing on time, or it results in bad behaviour, then it’s banned for the next day” or similar. Let him try it - it’s quite fun, and just as hugely popular as it seems from his friends. But you wouldn’t be the only parent setting clear limits on it.

Ours played very keenly for a while, but they aren’t interested any more (both at high school now). It never created bad behaviours or signs of addiction for ours, though I know one or two of their friends were banned for a while because it wound them right up and behaviours went downhill. But by no means the case for all. Oh, and they haven’t moved on to increasingly shooty nasty games either. Back to minecraft a lot, or silly games like Fall Guys or Sea of Thieves (v fun pirate game, probably some battling).

I’d suggest you try it out together on the basis there are no promises that it continues if you’re not happy with it . That’s what I did with DS2 having not let DS1 have it , friendships probably were impacted for DS1 . DS2 played it throughout lockdown and occasionally plays now - at one point he did get a bit stroppy - it is a bit addictive . They move on though and it becomes occasional .DS1 plays it occasionally with his brother or a friend but can take it or leave it . I regret my approach with DS1 - it really wasn’t necessary to not let him play

Your concerns are in the right place

1. He can play with strangers. You can't hear what they are saying because your son will want a headset so he can talk to people too

1. Even if he only plays with friends, you can't hear what the others are saying because of the headset issue

1. It's not a game where you can end and save at short notice. Each game takes about 25-30 mins ime and if your son's match ends 5 minutes before his screen time ends then he's going to want to start a new match. If you have to sit and watch him until he nods a match then that's more work for you

1. The game itself is not too violent for a 10yo imho. But there is often very bad language from other players when they lose or want to taunt other players. I've seen memes which it implies that it's funny how many TVs your kid smashed playing Fortnite. Not good at all

On the other hand:

He's 10 and rapidly approaching that age when he'll have a phone with apps. Even if you prevent him from downloading stuff, he'll be able to borrow a phone and play. Plus if he's y6 then you'll be facing him wanting higher rated games in secondary. Might be worth trying to impose boundaries and controlling it while you can.

It might be worth using it as a carrot to see if he'll stop moaning when he has to come off Minecraft first.

I’m sure you can fix the settings so they can’t communicate with people who aren’t on their friends list. And even if they’re using headsets, you can often tell what’s being said - and get reports back from other parents.
And the game length thing is one to train them in. If they couldn’t guarantee to finish in the time slot available, they had to drop out. So they’d ask “mum can I do another game” and I’d say yes or no depending. It helps to be a bit flexible but I’d say, for example, yes, but if you aren’t off by 5.30pm you’ll have to leave the game unfinished, and no moaning.

@HarrietsChariot

YANBU, it teaches children that violence is acceptable and is part of a longterm plan to create a society where Battle Royale/Hunger Games style events are acceptable.

GTA is an 18 for good reason, Fortnite really isn't any different just because it's dressed up as a cartoon and you don't see so much graphic violence.

This is peak MN.

The game does nothing of the sort. If this was the case Call of Duty players would end up in the army, Minecraft creative fans would be architects and fans of the board game Operation would be surgeons.

Many games are based on winning and losing. Many kids gravitate towards good vs evil franchises and enjoy the Guinness Book of Records sort of view where you can see the tallest man, woman with the longest hair etc

@TheSharpertheJuice

It’s more what I’ve read about how it’s addictive and all consuming for youngsters more than the content itself- he’s not the greatest when it comes to self regulating, and he has been known to get stroppy even when being asked to come away from building his minecraft villages and such, so to have read that it’s an effect Fortnite has on a lot of kids is my main concern.

Obviously 10 year olds can't easily self-regulate. That's why it's your job as a parent to put in boundaries around it and help him to regulate. It's really not fair to stop him playing entirely.

If you try hard enough you can find scaremongering on the internet about any type of gaming with children. The issue is usually that the parents are not putting in suitable boundaries and rules around the games.

If he is stroppy when asked to come off it then you make it a condition of playing that he will come off when asked to, without being stroppy or argumentative. If he is then he loses the privilege the next day, etc.

It's really not that difficult.

Agree! Let him play the characters are soo cool and the dances too! Really creative! Just limit playtime and don't get caught up in v-bucks bargaining if you can help it :)

I'd forgotten the drama around v-bucks. If you allow Fortnite you need to warn him no V bucks and if he moans you'll delete the game. Make sure that your card isn't saved on the console.

My DS is ten and wanted to play Fortnite about six months ago. His friends had been playing for a couple of years. I said no at first and then gave in because I thought it would help him fit in better.

I do not have any major concerns about it, even though he is on a headset, I can hear what he is saying and I know who he is playing with. DS has ended up friends with one boy who was bullying him. DS is a better gamer and the other boy is now learning from DS. And after a while he got bored and went back to Minecraft and other games as well as just Fortnite.

But oh, the V-bucks and endless skins. I caved and bought Fortnite Crew so he gets something every month and that is that.

@BananaPB

What does it matter if she can hear what’s being said especially by his friends? It’s not like she hears what their saying at school at lunch breaks or whenever they’re alone away from her anyway.
I except they’re saying obnoxious 10 year old boy things they wouldn’t want her listening to anyway and it’s probably better for everyone if she doesn’t.

If the group are all swearing and using inappropriate language or bullying then she might want to know. For example if one boy is always yelling about losing because of someone being "fucking useless dickhead" then she might want to cool the gaming. My boys have told me about how crazy some kids get over playing football at lunch and the Verna aggression can be a bit too much to handle if you're on the end of that.

I'd let him play, if you're unsure you could play with him

My 8 year old plays it with no issues, its really good as a multi platform game so he can play with friends who have different consoles. It isn't all shooting, DS and his friends have 'islands' where they build bases and castles.

He still drifts off to Minecraft most of the time.

Roblox is 100 times worse IMO I hate that game and DS is hardly ever let play it.

My DS, 8, went through a Fortnite craze where that was the only game he wanted to play, and although slightly annoying (to me not him!) I never found anything to worry about.

Him and his classmates would talk on Whatsapp as opposed to talking to strangers online and honestly during lockdown it was the only time he really got to socialise with this friends.

Yabu. It's a great game. Get an app where you can limit the time they play. Play with them. Enjoy it. Let them play with their friends.

Just make sure he only plays with people he knows in real life. It's pretty harmless tbh.

I play fortnite with my 10yr old. It should be fine.

@TheSharpertheJuice

It’s more what I’ve read about how it’s addictive and all consuming for youngsters more than the content itself- he’s not the greatest when it comes to self regulating, and he has been known to get stroppy even when being asked to come away from building his minecraft villages and such, so to have read that it’s an effect Fortnite has on a lot of kids is my main concern.

I think that's the same of any games. My son is 9 and would play on Xbox all day if he was allowed (he's not). I let him have Fortnite during lockdown as he couldn't see his friends and they were playing it and it was no worse than any other game. DS has not played it for ages and prefers Minecraft and Roblox but will dip in occasionally. I'd let him have it but monitor it, don't let him be the one that's left out.