To not let my 10 year old play Fortnite?

[TheSharpertheJuice]

The time has come where my DS is no longer content playing Minecraft with his friends in their own little space online- they’ve all moved on to Fortnite but I’ve not read an awful lot of positives about it (especially for his age!) so have said ‘no’… now he has nobody to play with during his couple of hours computer time, they talk about it at school and he can’t join in, and I’m worried that my rules are going to cause him a tough time…
For what it’s worth, they play football together and outside games too but their current topic of interest is definitely more computery of late.
Unsure how to proceed- I don’t want to make his life difficult but also don’t like what I’m reading about this game!

YABU - let him play, so he doesn’t become ostracised
YANBU - the game isn’t appropriate and just because his friends do it doesn’t mean he should too

DS, now 12, played from about 8/9, as did all his friends. Like you, it wasn't so much the content that bothered me, more that fact that he became quite obsessed with it, I think it's designed that way. We made it quite clear, that when we asked him to come off, he was expected to do so, without a fuss, or wouldn't be allowed to play anymore. It's important to give them a 5-10min warning to finish off the game they are on as it's bad etiquette to leave, mid-game.

We had a few tantrums, which resulted in a ban for a few days, he soon learnt it was better for him to stop playing when he was told to or he wouldn't be on for a few days. He's bored with it now and prefers Fifa with his friends. It is (in our experience), true that he will get left out a bit if his friends play.

I share 50/50 custody with my ExH, and he lets my 10yo DS play Fortnite on his contact weeks.

He's often called me moaning about the 'gamer rage' DS displays when playing Fortnite.

Whilst he's with me, DS doesn't have access to Fortnite as he plays it on ExH's PS4, which I don't have. He's a much calmer, nicer kid as a result. There's a definite correlation.

IME, Fortnite doesn't hold their attention long-term. Nor does any other game - except Minecraft. Let him play Fortnite but reiterate he can only do group voice chats with his known friends - on whatever platform you use. I guarantee they'll eventually circle back to tedious Minecraft, even if it takes several weeks. My kids and their friends have played lots of different multiplayer games but Minecraft has more hold than Japanese knotweed. All hail the illustrious Notch and his everlasting pixelated blocks of doom.

part of a longterm plan to create a society where Battle Royale/Hunger Games style events are acceptable.

...are you OK? 😂

Lovely Minecraft

Part of a long term plan to turn the world into pixellated blocks

Fortnite and GTA are nothing alike 😂. Fortnight is basically a big game of hide and seek. Yeah you “kill people” but there is no blood or gore. For all we know it could be airsoft guns 🤷‍♀️

GTA has graphic violence, sex, strippers, awful language, as well as the actual missions themselves.

The issue with Fortnight it’s like an arcade game. Short burst of high adrenaline play with rewards at the end to incentivise you to keep playing. Some kids handle this well, some become obsessed to the point of addiction. Set ground rules, stick to them and let him play.

We recently let my son start playing Fortnite, he's 11 and just started secondary school and his new friends were all playing it.

I'm not crazy about it but it's not as bad as I had feared, and my son has not gotten addicted or anything. I know a lot of kids have though.

Apparently his friends are all going off it now so I agree it's a phase.

Ds is 11 and used to play Fortnite. Now he won't play it as he says it's for little kids. He hasn't played it for about 18 months

It depends on the kid.

Some kids can't cope with these immersive games, my dd is one of them. So as her parent I banned it when it became an issue (( the Sims in her case))

So let him try it. And if he turns into a hedemon over it. Ban it.

Don’t worry so much about violence in the game worry about him being online. Set up strict parental controls and make sure he does not go in to open game chat ever and make sure you block messages from people not on his friends list. It is after all a PVP game and some take it very seriously, that’s fine but some get toxic. You are right about self regulation and children do seem to find it harder, as do some adults. This is where you parent and if they don’t like you then so be it.

I have gamed for decades, I was in a serious squad who played Fortnite a lot when it first came out and we used to win many matches. My DS was around maybe 14 or 15. When he was taking his GCSE exams I found him disobeying me and sneaking on out of his allotted time I removed his entire gaming set up and it got taken to work with his Father. My God he hated me at the time. If your child turns around and says they hate you it actually shows they are very secure, friend is a psychologist and advised me at the time as this is what happened.

Make sure your credit card is not on the console, friends DS spent about £200 on in game cosmetics.

The online element is an issue for me. My SS became obsessed with Fortnite, he played from age 9 at his mums house (we banned it). He was moody agitated when he couldn't play, in lockdown he lost a lot of friends because he was quite aggressive in the game and they didn't liked how he played. He also plays in his room which worries me as you just don't know who he is talking too.

It's a hard one, because I don't think it dies any good for their social skills and it is very addictive. But on the other hand most kids do play it. We decided to just stick with the age rating, when he gets to the appropriate age he can play.

They get bored of it, the problem with banning something is you make it more attractive. The hardest part of the game is how addictive it is, so we did have to ban it for periods when we felt DS didn't have a healthy relationship with it so we carefully monitored time spent on it. But he's bored of it now, him and his friends seem to be back on minecraft at the moment.

@LucentBlade

Don’t worry so much about violence in the game worry about him being online. Set up strict parental controls and make sure he does not go in to open game chat ever and make sure you block messages from people not on his friends list. It is after all a PVP game and some take it very seriously, that’s fine but some get toxic. You are right about self regulation and children do seem to find it harder, as do some adults. This is where you parent and if they don’t like you then so be it.

I have gamed for decades, I was in a serious squad who played Fortnite a lot when it first came out and we used to win many matches. My DS was around maybe 14 or 15. When he was taking his GCSE exams I found him disobeying me and sneaking on out of his allotted time I removed his entire gaming set up and it got taken to work with his Father. My God he hated me at the time. If your child turns around and says they hate you it actually shows they are very secure, friend is a psychologist and advised me at the time as this is what happened.

Make sure your credit card is not on the console, friends DS spent about £200 on in game cosmetics.

Just wanted to acknowledge that this is some of the best advice so far. My son plays, he's 14, but he knows there are limits of when he can play/how long for, and also if he has school work, tests etc to study for then Fortnite takes back stage. He does sometimes buy 'in game' items, but he uses the cards you can buy in lots of supermarkets, and mostly buys them with his own money (well I buy as often in shop, but he gives me the money!). All games are addictive, it's up to us as parents to monitor that, and be the 'bad guy' sometimes too. :)

I agree it totally depends on the child. My DS is 9 and dips in and out of it but has never got especially addicted. The annoying thing is the skins and how much they can cost and that they are only in the item store for a certain period - he has got very confused and wound up not knowing whether to buy one or not (with his own money) or regretted buying one but I figure it's a learning experience! We have talked about how much better it is to save your money to buy something in real life rather than on a game. He always circles back to Minecraft as there's so much more you can do with it. Minecraft dungeons is a good one to play with friends too.

GTA is an 18 for good reason, Fortnite really isn't any different just because it's dressed up as a cartoon and you don't see so much graphic violence

Never heard of being able to beat a prostitute with a dildo on fortnite.

I found the same as some PP. My nephew downloaded it onto my DCs switch and DS (8 at the time) in particular got very addicted to it. He would wear his headphones and be screaming to other players all the while he was on it. He would get very upset with any problem on it, people killed him, people ganged up on him, people stole from him etc. I ended up banning it because it wasn't doing him or us any favours. He hasn't been back on it and his behaviour and attitude is so much better.

We never allowed it for our 3.

They asked pretty regularly for about 6 months, but that was it.

Our objection wasn't the violence (I game myself, and would have been comfortable with Fortnite from that perspective), but that i had read articles and heard anecdotally about the frustration and anger that that type of game can cause. It stimulates the same parts of the brain as gambling, and can have similar emotional/mental consequences.

After a while, they stopped asking, and found other games to play (Rocket League, Minecraft, Fifa etc).

I think they may have felt a bit left out of some conversations at the time, but it certainly didn't cause any major issues.

I haven't heard it mentioned by them at all for a year or so now - nor from the football team i coach (currently year 7s).

@Kikkomam

Lovely Minecraft

Part of a long term plan to turn the world into pixellated blocks

😂

My teenagers always circle back to Minecraft eventually too.

Fortnite is a phase and tbh it made my kids very happy around y5/y6.
Obviously you need rules.

Unlike Minecraft (apart from bedwars etc) you are playing in a game, so I can understand why "turn it off now, your time is up" would upset them.

Turn it off after this game is much more reasonable.

It's about trying to understand what your children are doing, and monitoring them.

@TheSharpertheJuice

It’s more what I’ve read about how it’s addictive and all consuming for youngsters more than the content itself- he’s not the greatest when it comes to self regulating, and he has been known to get stroppy even when being asked to come away from building his minecraft villages and such, so to have read that it’s an effect Fortnite has on a lot of kids is my main concern.

Fortnite isn’t the issue. It’ll be another game when he’s older. Screens are addictive - they make them that way.

Fortnite ruined all of my children but I think it must be their personalities, they never get irritable/cranky/angry except when playing fortnite and are properly addicted. We've tried scheduled time, a bit more freedom and we've removed it but same as that, all of their friends are on. BUT I know plenty of children who can play then walk away so ...

@user0176

GTA is an 18 for good reason, Fortnite really isn't any different just because it's dressed up as a cartoon and you don't see so much graphic violence

Never heard of being able to beat a prostitute with a dildo on fortnite.

😂😂😂😂 I forgot how funny GTA is.

Fortnite is not comparable to GTA, my son uses it and it's the game most of his friends play. He's not addicted, and happily switches between that, fifa and minecraft.

Now if Fortnite brings out a dildo outfit to run around shooting people I may have to object

However I would so be buying the outfit to run around in shooting people. Maybe a dildo launcher rather than rockets too

I don't let my kids play any games with guns in.

@HarrietsChariot

YANBU, it teaches children that violence is acceptable and is part of a longterm plan to create a society where Battle Royale/Hunger Games style events are acceptable.

GTA is an 18 for good reason, Fortnite really isn't any different just because it's dressed up as a cartoon and you don't see so much graphic violence.

This might be one of the funniest things I've read on here.

Do you also worry about the world's elite drinking children's blood so that they can have eternal life?

OP - personally, I've never understood why parents wouldn't let their DC have fortnite but I do know families who say it really does cause a deterioration in personality/behaviour. So I'd be inclined to base your decision on whether or not that is a problem for you. Having said that, the only person I know in RL who has this issue is ALSO the one who has always been the strictest and most OTT and I've wondered if her DC's responses to screens are in part a result of that control. Impossible to tell.