To want my mum to wash her hands after cleaning mold

[PurpleCurtain]

I have a 4 month old and my house has therefore been a bit neglected. My mum has come to visit for a few days and has decided to help by cleaning - I know I should be grateful so I haven't stopped her, but it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

She doesn't wear gloves to clean and will regularly come cuddle DS halfway through cleaning, be that the bathroom, ovens etc. It particularly got me when she was cleaning mold off the shelves in our drinks fridge (!) and actively had bits of black on her hands and clothes last time she picked him up. He's putting everything in his mouth right now so I can't be sure he didn't eat some. On that occasion I did ask her to wash her hands when I saw and her reply was "you're being too sensitive, mold and dirt are everywhere and won't hurt him". I know both she and DH won't react well to me declining her offer of help, as I had voiced my stress at how little time I have for cleaning. Am I being unreasonable to be bothered by this?

YUCK

That doesn’t sound ok OP.

I have to ask - doesn’t your DH do any cleaning ? What do you need your mum to help clean? ?

It does sound a bit gross but also not good that there is that much dirt and mould in your house generally! I wouldn't like that with a young baby who was becoming more mobile, so at least it's being cleaned now!

I think you are a being a little bit oversensitive - it's not nice or best practise but within 6 months they be crawling , walking eating leaves and mud and all sorts. I would be grateful for the help and just keep quiet x

I think she's doing you a massive favour, particularly if there is that much mild in your fridge that it was on her hands and clothing,

So you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, if it's that bad when she's helping, what would it be like if she stopped?

Sounds a bit yucky all round. Why do you have mould growing in a drinks fridge? Why does your DH not do any cleaning?

*mould not mild

I am very much on the lax side of this sort of thing but no I wouldn’t like that. Not just the mould but also presumably any cleaning chemicals she was using.

You need to take a look at yourself. If your child is living in a dirt and mould filled house your pretty rich being annoyed at your mum.

If you don't want her to clean why not ask her to look after thd baby so you can. But it does sound like you and DH need to prioritise cleaning. Mould has spores and you'll all go breathing them in.

@Djifunrsn

You have mould in your fridge?
And you're worried about it being on your mums hands?
What about on your food? Don't you worry about that?
It strikes me this would be a non issue if the fridge was cleaned.
(PS I'd be mould more worried about cleaning chemicals on your mum's hands than a bit of mould which you're eating daily anyway by the sound of things)

No that’s grim. Ask her not to

Your mum comes to visit and she is the one cleaning? She should be cuddling the baby and you should be cleaning your own mess.

We do clean but we don't get time for much more than a basic kitchen / bathroom / hoover job. DH is away a lot and I haven't been well, plus there's the adjustment to looking after DS. Part of the reason I've struggled with deeper cleaning is because I don't want to not be able to pick up / feed DS for long periods, so anything I do is quick once he finally settles about 11pm.

It's not our main food fridge, it's one of those separate slim drinks fridges that we just have beer and pop in. Admittedly we haven't taken it fully apart and deep cleaned it in...quite a while. The mold was on the under side of the shelves in the fridge, so not visible unless you fully remove them.

@521Jeanie

You have mould in your fridge? And you're worried about it being on your mums hands? What about on your food? Don't you worry about that? It strikes me this would be a non issue if the fridge was cleaned. (PS I'd be mould more worried about cleaning chemicals on your mum's hands than a bit of mould which you're eating daily anyway by the sound of things)

It's not a food fridge. I guess it might not be mold, but I'm inclined to assume that any black gunk is mold. I'm not proud of it, though in general I don't think my house is filthy by any stretch, and I don't believe for one minute that everyone with a baby is able to keep up with the cleaning. It's the deeper bits of cleaning my mum is helping with - washing the curtains, cleaning out cupboards and fridges, cleaning the oven.

I don't want to be mean but you really should keep on top of the mould, for your own sake.

Put the baby in a pen, or in a carrier and do all the cleaning tasks you've put off. I know it's tiring: I have two, one still a newborn basically and I'm studying- only 2 weeks maternity absence.

But your shouldn't have gunk, mould or not building up. Just get it done, else it'll build up and be too overwhelming. My flat is clean and tidy despite how hectic my life is because I do a bit everyday

Yanbu about your mum, but she shouldn't even need to be over cleaning in the first place. Sorry this diverged from the op

It's really not healthy for your DS to be living in a home that's got visible mould in.

My concern is that any visible mould on your DM after she's been cleaning is only the tip of the iceberg.

Would be better to get a cleaner to deep clean. Your mum can help with things like washing up or a quick hoover.

I wouldnt ask a fanily member to clean my fridge. Its a lot to ask

Oh come on, everyone could find some black gunky stuff if they dismantle the fridge/clean the rubber seal of the washing machine/dishwasher etc.
Maybe those of you who claim you have no mould don’t clean enough to have discovered it yet

In answer to the OP, yes it would bother me - not just because of mould on DM’s hands but possible corrosive chemicals from the cleaning products going on the baby’s skin.

Some reward for trying to do the deep clean OP evidently wants.

I'm getting impression there are barely visible traces of black stuff in a few crevices on large surfaces and this amounts to lots of mould in OP's eyes.

So, what are you going to say to your mum, OP?

Hell would freeze over before my mother would lift a finger to help me, so I don't have direct experience, but I think I would try using the cleaning chemicals as an excuse:

"Mum, I'm so grateful for your help, and I'm probably being paranoid, but would you mind washing your hands before touching DS when you're cleaning, because of the chemicals?"

@icedcoffees

It's really not healthy for your DS to be living in a home that's got visible mould in.

My concern is that any visible mould on your DM after she's been cleaning is only the tip of the iceberg.

Yes, babies can turn to stone if they're exposed to mould while fixing themselves a dry Martini from the drinks fridge. Surprised your NCT class didn't cover this, OP.

Oh come on. We all have some gross bits in our houses that don’t get cleaned as often. I would not be impressed at her picking up my young child part-way through a clean, particularly if she has been using any cleaning products.