To want my mum to wash her hands after cleaning mold

[PurpleCurtain]

I have a 4 month old and my house has therefore been a bit neglected. My mum has come to visit for a few days and has decided to help by cleaning - I know I should be grateful so I haven't stopped her, but it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

She doesn't wear gloves to clean and will regularly come cuddle DS halfway through cleaning, be that the bathroom, ovens etc. It particularly got me when she was cleaning mold off the shelves in our drinks fridge (!) and actively had bits of black on her hands and clothes last time she picked him up. He's putting everything in his mouth right now so I can't be sure he didn't eat some. On that occasion I did ask her to wash her hands when I saw and her reply was "you're being too sensitive, mold and dirt are everywhere and won't hurt him". I know both she and DH won't react well to me declining her offer of help, as I had voiced my stress at how little time I have for cleaning. Am I being unreasonable to be bothered by this?

@GemmaRuby

Oh come on, everyone could find some black gunky stuff if they dismantle the fridge/clean the rubber seal of the washing machine/dishwasher etc. Maybe those of you who claim you have no mould don’t clean enough to have discovered it yet

In answer to the OP, yes it would bother me - not just because of mould on DM’s hands but possible corrosive chemicals from the cleaning products going on the baby’s skin.

Everyone's got some dust on their skirting boards but no, I don't enough that I need to get outside help. I don't think everyone has gunk in their fridge seals either

I'd be concerned if the baby was accessing the mould in the drinks fridge!! If the DM has found time to do that the rest of the house can't be that bad

She’s unreasonable not wearing gloves to clean IMO. Terrible for the hands.

I had my MIL helping me the other day by washing the kitchen bin (plus bin juice) in my kitchen sink with the dish cloth. I Zoflora'd the shit on a 5 foot exclusion of the sink and binned the cloth when she wasn't looking.

Disgusting. It's why I make her sit down with a cup of tea at mine to 'rest'

Why does your DH not do any cleaning?

I need a sticker that says this to just post on MN threads. Would be quicker. And one that says, why can’t your DH get up at night at all?

Yes, babies can turn to stone if they're exposed to mould while fixing themselves a dry Martini from the drinks fridge. Surprised your NCT class didn't cover this, OP.

I mean, you can take the piss all you like, but mould can actually cause pretty bad health issues if you're exposed to it long-term.

@icedcoffees

Yes, babies can turn to stone if they're exposed to mould while fixing themselves a dry Martini from the drinks fridge. Surprised your NCT class didn't cover this, OP.

I mean, you can take the piss all you like, but mould can actually cause pretty bad health issues if you're exposed to it long-term.

Mould can harm children (and adults) if they are exposed to the mould. Worrying about mould in your drinks fridge, in relation to a 4 month old is like worrying about using antifreeze in your car because it would be dangerous if the baby drank it. Neither is actually a risk, because the baby isn't going to be in contact with it.

Mould can harm children (and adults) if they are exposed to the mould. Worrying about mould in your drinks fridge, in relation to a 4 month old is like worrying about using antifreeze in your car because it would be dangerous if the baby drank it. Neither is actually a risk, because the baby isn't going to be in contact with it

But in a couple of months the baby is going to start trying other foods (apart from milk) and will be in contact with the foods in the fridge.

My point is that it's best to get a grip on any mould now before the baby gets old enough to be crawling, exploring and opening doors.

But in a couple of months the baby is going to start trying other foods (apart from milk) and will be in contact with the foods in the fridge

The drinks fridge? You must have precocious children.

Well done on your enthusiasm for clean-shaming a new mother, though. I'm sure it was just what the OP needed.

Not sure why I got deleted. I wasn’t calling the op a dirty bitch, I can perfectly well understand why cleaning takes a back seat when life is stressful and busy. I was calling her mum that and stand by it: it is utterly filthy and disgusting to touch a baby with mould over your hands. You can delete this as well HQ and let people put mould all over babies 🤮

I don't think mould would be the problem if the baby/toddler had access to the drinks fridge!

If you want to instruct someone else on how to clean your home, when to wash their hands and/or not touch your child, pay a cleaner.

No, I don't think she needs to pay a cleaner. It's very normal for someone's mum to help them from time to time when they have a baby. And totally abnormal to not wash mould off hands before touching baby. OP's mum just needs to behave to basic, ordinary standards. OP doesn't want to dictate to people, she just wants her mum to behave decently and it isn't too much to ask at all.

@Djifunrsn

No, I don't think she needs to pay a cleaner. It's very normal for someone's mum to help them from time to time when they have a baby. And totally abnormal to not wash mould off hands before touching baby. OP's mum just needs to behave to basic, ordinary standards. OP doesn't want to dictate to people, she just wants her mum to behave decently and it isn't too much to ask at all.

No, if you want people to work by your standards, then you need to employ them to be able to instruct them.

If you want your own mother to help out free of charge, then she'll work to her standard, obviously.

And be grateful that she's helping, it's certainly not a given!

Thanks (mostly!). I haven't asked my mum to clean, I've just mentioned that I don't have time for any of the deeper stuff and so she announced she was doing it on arrival. Armed with the reassurance that it isn't okay for her to have mold or harsh chemicals on her when cuddling DS ill try to tactfully talk to her this evening in case there are more things she tries to do tomorrow or in future!

@PurpleCurtain

Thanks (mostly!). I haven't asked my mum to clean, I've just mentioned that I don't have time for any of the deeper stuff and so she announced she was doing it on arrival. Armed with the reassurance that it isn't okay for her to have mold or harsh chemicals on her when cuddling DS ill try to tactfully talk to her this evening in case there are more things she tries to do tomorrow or in future!

I suggest you hire a cleaner, your mum is being extremely kind and you're not appreciative of it.

Then you can relax and nanny and baby will have time together, without you worrying.

@PurpleCurtain

Thanks (mostly!). I haven't asked my mum to clean, I've just mentioned that I don't have time for any of the deeper stuff and so she announced she was doing it on arrival. Armed with the reassurance that it isn't okay for her to have mold or harsh chemicals on her when cuddling DS ill try to tactfully talk to her this evening in case there are more things she tries to do tomorrow or in future!

Sorry, are you happy with the state of your home? Or would you be happier if it was cleaner and no mould etc?

If you're happy with it, tell your mum, this is to
My standard I'm happy.

If not, as I've said previously get a cleaner!

If you don't like what she's doing, get rid of your own mould

Get a cleaner to deep clean and get on top of it.

Then your mum can just enjoy a visit.

New mum blamed for the state of her house. Tick.

Partner/husband blamed for not cleaning. Tick.

Granny, picking up baby with either mould or cleaning chemicals on her hands, oh just fine and dandy.

OP. You're right. Basic hygiene. Wash your hands before doing anything after cleaning mould/using chemicals, not just cuddling a baby.

@gluteustothemaximus

New mum blamed for the state of her house. Tick.

Partner/husband blamed for not cleaning. Tick.

Granny, picking up baby with either mould or cleaning chemicals on her hands, oh just fine and dandy.

OP. You're right. Basic hygiene. Wash your hands before doing anything after cleaning mould/using chemicals, not just cuddling a baby.

Not appreciative of help from mother tick