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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say a crash HAS to go through insurance

190 replies

Chelyanne · 16/11/2021 10:41

So on the school run and bang... a woman reversed out in to the side of our car.
She asked me if we could not involve insurance and she'd pay for the damage (passenger door, rear wing, rear bumper, side trim and alloy all have visible damage). I said no it has to go through insurance and she left in a huff leaving me with no contact details, I did get a pic of her numberplate on and we have dash cams front and rear too. No injuries to me or 5 kids in the car, she had an adult passenger and they both looked okay too.

Do you think I was being unreasonable saying no to her?

OP posts:
BonnesVacances · 16/11/2021 10:42

It will be part of the insurance's T&C that you report all accidents to them regardless of fault. So YANBU.

Caramellatteplease · 16/11/2021 10:42

Good for you. That's what insurance is for

Duxiejhrhrvjz · 16/11/2021 10:43

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable! That’s why you have insurance!

I do personally think doing it privately works for very small bumps but yours seems to have damaged most of the side of the car.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 16/11/2021 10:45

YANBU - report her to Police 101 for leaving the scene without exchanging details. They won't be interested or do anything but it will at least be recorded. Then tell your insurers.

Almostwelsh · 16/11/2021 10:45

Absolutely. If you don't get the insurance involved there is nothing to stop her trying to "discover" issues with her car later on and trying to blame you. At that point the insurance will question why you didn't involve them at the time, like you are supposed to. It could all get very messy.

Gertrudetheadelie · 16/11/2021 10:46

Definitely. I made the stupid mistake (in a situation very similar to yours) of agreeing to go privately. Lots of issues, refusals to pay, ended up saying that they would tell the insurance that I did it to them and now the insurance are sorting it anyway. I wish I'd just gone through the insurance to begin with Sad. Stick to your guns. I will be in future!

notangelinajolie · 16/11/2021 10:47

Be aware though, your premiums will probably go up if you go through insurance, even if it's not your fault.

SoupDragon · 16/11/2021 10:48

rear wing, rear bumper, side trim and alloy all have visible damage

I don't think she realises quite how expensive that could be!!

Obviously I don't know the extent of the damage but mine had damage to similar areas and it was a big claim apparently.

I would absolutely go through insurance and notify the police that she left the scene.

kweeble · 16/11/2021 10:48

My friend attempted a local repair on her car that was damaged rather than claim and now can’t sell it

Gertrudetheadelie · 16/11/2021 10:49

I should add that I told my insurance at the time of the accident but said that the other party wished to go around their insurance company and mine said that was fine but to contact them if I wanted them to get involved. Thankfully they were as good as their word and have been dealing with it now for over two months!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/11/2021 10:50

Remember any child car seats will need replacing too. Its likely to be expensive!

Pumpkinsonparade · 16/11/2021 10:50

I reversed into a RR. Literally touched his bumper.. He didn't want to go through insurance.. I didn't want bad feeling at the school gate so agreed. Absolutely nothing to see imo.
He got a quote for £90 for an apparent scuff - likely a magic sponge would have got off. I have him a cheque which he cashed. Scuff remained on the bumper until they sold the car a month later.. got a tirade of abusive messages off his dw...
Oh and they own the biggest house in the village. Biggest mouth in her case...
Never spoken to either of them since.
Insurance every time.... Ime.

Honeyroar · 16/11/2021 10:52

I’d happily not go through the insurance for a small scratch (but my husband is a mechanic and knows where to take it), but for visible damage or a posh car it really does need to be an insurance claim.

araiwa · 16/11/2021 10:55

Why would you think that you can tell her how to pay to get your car fixed. It's up to her if she pays it or gets her insurance to pay for it. She doesn't have to claim off her insurance if she doesn't want to. Insurance companies both need to be informed of incident but how she pays is up to her

Brainwave89 · 16/11/2021 10:56

For large damage I would always go through insurance- most will offer a guarantee of the quality of work, and provide a car of the same size whilst yours is fixed. She is very rude, and I would be slightly suspicious as to why she would be keen to keep a significant accident away from insurers.

Otherpeoplesteens · 16/11/2021 10:57

The problem with not reporting it to insurance is that it changes the risk profile of the insured driver, and therefore the amount that they should be paying. If that isn't worked into their premiums, everyone pays.

Agree with pp about reporting them to police too. Leaving the scene without providing details is an offence.

Otherpeoplesteens · 16/11/2021 11:00

@araiwa

Why would you think that you can tell her how to pay to get your car fixed. It's up to her if she pays it or gets her insurance to pay for it. She doesn't have to claim off her insurance if she doesn't want to. Insurance companies both need to be informed of incident but how she pays is up to her
Just not true. OP is the one ultimately claiming off this person's insurance and has every right to. It is precisely for situations like this that motor insurance is legally mandated.
cultkid · 16/11/2021 11:03

Why should she decide when she clearly reversed into your car

Ring your Insurer and also tell the police

Wonder if she had been drinking how do you even do that on the school run

Aqua55 · 16/11/2021 11:05

Just not true. OP is the one ultimately claiming off this person's insurance and has every right to. It is precisely for situations like this that motor insurance is legally mandated

Technically, it is true.

Bananarama101 · 16/11/2021 11:06

Have you checked online to see if it is listed as being insured? Given her actions I wouldn't be too surprised if not actually insured, or she's not covered to drive that car or similar.

Ladywholoveswine · 16/11/2021 11:08

This is making me wonder if maybe she is not insured.

Honeyroar · 16/11/2021 11:08

@araiwa

Why would you think that you can tell her how to pay to get your car fixed. It's up to her if she pays it or gets her insurance to pay for it. She doesn't have to claim off her insurance if she doesn't want to. Insurance companies both need to be informed of incident but how she pays is up to her
I disagree. How it is fixed is up to the person who has been hit, not the person that did the damage.
grey12 · 16/11/2021 11:09

Hmm why doesn't the UK have an incident report form like other countries??!!

Hankunamatata · 16/11/2021 11:09

Report to police that she drove off without giving details. And report to insurance now incase she tries to lie to her insurance and blame you. If school carpark, check with school for cctv

DeepaBeesKit · 16/11/2021 11:10

How much damage is there? Visible damage could mean a few cosmetic scratches, or something far more.

If the damage is quite minor/cosmetic, going through insurance often adds admin and delay, they tend to overpay the work and then absolutely hammer through the premiums.

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