Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

My 10 year old seemed ok until the last lockdown at Christmas, I think he was becoming depressed , he loves walking but couldn't even get him out for a walk.

He seems ok again now but he did struggle with online work, especially as his younger brother has asd and struggled with the lack of routine and was constantly making noise

If they ever close schools again we will not be doing home schooling through bloody zoom again. It turned my house into an unhappy place to be and made them miserable

I haven't noticed it on my own children but they were only 3 and 1 during lockdown so not as aware of what was happening. I think ages 7 and above would be more badly affected.

Yes. My 12 year old was suicidal and hospitalised.

Leaving school permanently and home schooling has removed her from the group hysteria that damaged her autistic mind so badly. She’s learning at home, doing loads of outdoor stuff and putting her wellbeing first.

My daughter thought she would bring covid home to her disabled sibling and grandma and that they would die.

The fear propaganda has an awful lot to answer for. It almost cost my daughter her life.

I see it in my 5yo. He is very socially anxious at the moment except at school, but if we go out as a family he gets very upset and doesn't want to join in with things no matter how excited he was beforehand. He seems to get overwhelmed by lots of strangers.

I haven't noticed in my own children but the school must have as they mentioned in a recent news letter a massive increase in children being anxious and clingy to their parents when they were being brought into school.

Very sad for everyone and I hope people think of this before calling for more lockdowns.

I think, much like adults, lockdown/pandemic had a different impact on different children. Some had a great time, we’re outside a lot and had quality time with parents in amounts they never had before. Others really struggled or are struggling returning to the demands of school.

I think anxiety is generally a growing issue amongst children and the pandemic has exacerbated that for some.

It's not something I've witnessed in my DC or my friends DC's. School seem largely fine as well but they did concentrate quite heavily on children's emotional and mental well being after and during the lockdowns rather than academic side. But in general I think MH conditions including anxiety are definitely very common. Not sure if it is lockdowns or part of a wider problem.

Yes it has greatly affected my primary school aged children. We are lucky that I didn't have to work during the lockdowns and we went outdoors daily for much longer than was technically allowed, went to the playgrounds when open etc. I think that the lack of peer interaction has been the key problem for us. Both became quite socially awkward and they haven't really completely relaxed. They happen to have friends who were very fearful even when restrictions were allowed and we couldn't see them, this compounded the situation for them as they essentially lost their closest friendships for a year. We also have no family nearby and they live abroad so they have had no other adults to interact with them apart from us two parents. For me me It's been devastating to watch. I think it's especially hard on families who were already fairly isolated in this modern world.

It's hit DS2 (6-8) harder. DS1 has ASD so I did my best to keep things light touch right from the start before lockdown as he was getting anxious from watching Newsround covering the events in Wuhan and Italy. DS1 can cope with living quietly at home (not that it's good for him!)

DS2 is more sociable but has struggled to build close friendships in school due to the small number of people avaliable. Add in 6 months of not setting foot in school, total failure to engage with so-called "home learning" and zoom, and not knowing people well enough to know if suggesting a playdate would go down like an attempted murder plot, and the isolation hit him hard. He was depressed. Lethargic. Angry. We went out walking all the time. We climbed the fences into playgrounds. I took him on thrilling outings to the supermarket. In the summer we took advantage of the world opening up. But I couldn't replace the company of other 7 year olds. He went back to school having lost his friends because they'd been allowed in as precious key-worker children, and he'd been abandoned to regress with only his SEN sibling for company.

I've tried to get him onto a football team to cement his friendships but he'd lost a year of his football training and he just doesn't have the experience and confidence to play with them.

It's hard. He's behind in school and there's a lot of gentle rebuilding to do, and I'm worn out from being his everything/ everyone.

A couple of my daughters' friends have become very anxious. These were girls who were a bit anxious before and it has really exacerbated the problem. One girl has become a school refuser.

My own kids loved lockdown but I think it broke me trying to make it as good as possible for them. I loathed it and I haven't quite recovered.

Ds was diagnosed with anxiety pre pandemic but had made massive progress, his anxiety is largely social anxiety.

He then had to shield throughout lockdowns so we are now back to worse than ever.

Dc haven’t had anxiety since lockdown ended

During it I knew it wasn’t good to be so cut off from peers in person, with only digital, but we did seem to get through it, as much thought it hard on dc generally.

It was bad though and I feel for any child who is still feeling the impact.

My 4 year old is finding reception class overwhelming. She is anxious and angry. It makes me so sad.

I'm in Italy and our school has now taken on the services of a psychologist that the kids can go and talk to.
DD is 18, final year of high school and is OK- but there is this sort of "brittle" ness somehow- they don't believe anymore that it's not going to happen again (school closures, lockdown etc) they don't trust the news that tells us that cases of Covid are rising but it's ok, we're still OK. There are two girls in her class almost permanently off due to stress, one of her closest friends is on anti-Ds. A 16 year old in the next town jumped off the 3rd floor of her school last week.
There's also been a huge rise in juvenile crime and anti-social behaviour in that age group. Mass brawls on the streets, knives, drugs. This is a smallish unimportant town which has hardly been touched by Covid itself, but the effects are going to be there for a long time.

YANBU

My middle one definitely is (age 12), I have had to seek help for her. The eldest one (15) is just depressed and meh about everything, he is lost and doesn't know what to do with his future and feels hopeless. Lockdowns and school closures have a lot to answer for.

I think so in my middle child. The oldest (then 6) found the first lockdown hard but she’s completely bounced back. The youngest was/is a toddler so just loved having everyone at home.

My middle turned 4 just before the first lockdown. He was the most gentle, affectionate boy back then. Since going back from the first lockdown he has struggled massively with emotional regulation, particularly anger, which his (amazing) kindergarten have always pinned on anxiety.

Yes, absolutely. My DD had just gone upto upper school the September before the lockdowns, her new found freedom was taken away- she couldn't see her friends or do social events (like all of us!) The things we enjoyed as a family- many trips abroad, the trappings of a family earning a very good wage, all gone overnight.

Things are not going back to usual as we had hoped. She doesn't like for us to be at work, but also desperately misses the spontaneity we had before lockdown, she is unable to communicate as freely as she did, because she's anxious and feels out of the loop of communicating with many people.

I just hope that we will not go back into lockdown of any sort again. We can recover from this, but it will take time.

Another issue is that children have lost two years of the social development side of things.

Mine were devastated to go back to school. They live in hope of another lock down!

Mine has developed issues with failure and doing things in front of others that weren't there before lockdown. The school put on a coaching session for parents recently around resilience so I don't think she is alone. She's seven. She's in y3 and her last full school year was reception. This weird abnormal way of living has been such a huge part of her life.

My son developed tics over lockdown and explosive meltdowns. Now he is back playing sport snd at school he is a totally different child.

Of course the lockdowns have caused huge issues for kids. My now-6 year old became anxious, volatile, frightened of an increasing range of things, and refused to engage with online learning. She is much better since returning to school but we still have residual issues with anxiety (she hates being on her own and is reluctant even to go to the loo by herself).

When I posted on MN about this during the first lockdown I was told it was my fault for ‘projecting’ my own anxiety on to her, and that if I just modelled a positive attitude she would be fine. There are some people on here who should be ashamed of their behaviour during the past 18 months.

I should add that this was in no way a reaction to/fear of covid itself, as I’d always made clear that the risk to her and her immediate family was minimal. It was a reaction to lockdown taking away virtually everything in her life overnight and making it illegal for her to go to school or see her wider family and friends.

@bookworm14

Of course the lockdowns have caused huge issues for kids. My now-6 year old became anxious, volatile, frightened of an increasing range of things, and refused to engage with online learning. She is much better since returning to school but we still have residual issues with anxiety (she hates being on her own and is reluctant even to go to the loo by herself).

When I posted on MN about this during the first lockdown I was told it was my fault for ‘projecting’ my own anxiety on to her, and that if I just modelled a positive attitude she would be fine. There are some people on here who should be ashamed of their behaviour during the past 18 months.

I think remember your thread, bookworm. I'm glad to hear she's doing better.

I totally agree. Some of the attitudes towards children I've seen on here has been appalling.