Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

@MarshaBradyo

Most people I know didn't care about the educational perspective, but needed to be able to get on with their jobs during daytime hours.

Well that also applies to other people working doesn’t it?

But more importantly you’re forgetting socialisation for children

That was the hardest part of the isolation for another term for some dc.

I was talking about 2nd lockdown when more kids could go to school. The main reason my friends sent their kids to school was to get them out from under their feet - friends who got places in 2nd lockdown but not first. So not NHS, supermarket etc. So yeah most working people.

I'm not forgetting about socialisation, I'm explaining why my friends sent their kids. Socialisation was never brought up as a factor in our many conversations about it. I'm not denying it was an issue for some kids, just that it wasn't a deciding factor for the people I know.

Mitigation measures don’t necessarily involve not being allowed to run around or interact with peers. There are certainly stages between no school, and children in a box (which I know some countries went for).

I think Covid just exacerbated preexisting stressors for children and teenagers. The children in my family and peer group have emerged largely unscathed because they have parents in secure employment, access to tech, outdoor space for play etc. The children of the kind I have worked with over decades have had appalling lockdowns because their lives were chaotic and impoverished before the pandemic or they were already anxious etc.

Socialisation was never brought up as a factor in our many conversations about it. I'm not denying it was an issue for some kids, just that it wasn't a deciding factor for the people I know.

If they had places it wouldn’t be a topic really.

It was mostly only those who knew the massive impact of closed school that realised how key it was.

@HereticFanjo

I think Covid just exacerbated preexisting stressors for children and teenagers. The children in my family and peer group have emerged largely unscathed because they have parents in secure employment, access to tech, outdoor space for play etc. The children of the kind I have worked with over decades have had appalling lockdowns because their lives were chaotic and impoverished before the pandemic or they were already anxious etc.

Nailed it.

Obviously exceptions
But largely speaking, true

But I'm aware we were lucky in that respect as we were both key workers

Were your dc in school or not?

Did you homeschool and wfh?

I don’t buy the whole mc but poor other people stuff.

I’m in a mc bubble we were all feeling the same about it.

* The main reason my friends sent their kids to school was to get them out from under their feet - friends who got places in 2nd lockdown but not first. So not NHS, supermarket etc. So yeah most working people. *

I'm not forgetting about socialisation, I'm explaining why my friends sent their kids. Socialisation was never brought up as a factor in our many conversations about it. I'm not denying it was an issue for some kids, just that it wasn't a deciding factor for the people I know.

Classic middle class. And I speak as firmly middle class because I did exactly the same. Joked that I was relieved to get them back to school to get them from under feet!

But actually it was a lot more nuanced than that, and certainly involved socialisation. As the primary factor actually, given the online learning at the school was stellar

@HereticFanjo

I think Covid just exacerbated preexisting stressors for children and teenagers. The children in my family and peer group have emerged largely unscathed because they have parents in secure employment, access to tech, outdoor space for play etc. The children of the kind I have worked with over decades have had appalling lockdowns because their lives were chaotic and impoverished before the pandemic or they were already anxious etc.

There’s no doubt lockdowns hit the lowest socioeconomic hardest which is bad enough but no this just shifts again to it’s fine it’s just them.

Many children suffered even with tech and homes and to minimise is wrong. They probably don’t seek your services though.

A family with money and badly affected dc might go for private counselling as wait lists were so long.

I don’t think we should fall into trap of oh they were fine they had tech etc

We shouldn’t accept it for any children

@MarshaBradyo

A family with money and badly affected dc might go for private counselling as wait lists were so long.

I don’t think we should fall into trap of oh they were fine they had tech etc

We shouldn’t accept it for any children

Nope, and we're back to minimisation again.

No but at face value
I’d sure as hell be more concerned about the impact on a child living in a high rise with no access to outside space and sharing one old laptop amongst 3 siblings than my children - who had access to a large garden, top of the range tech, and superb online schooling

Exceptional yes this pull towards

It’s the parents’ anxiety
It’s the poor now added

Why minimise?

Don’t people want all dc to be a priority?

@Oftenithinkaboutit

No but at face value I’d sure as hell be more concerned about the impact on a child living in a high rise with no access to outside space and sharing one old laptop amongst 3 siblings than my children - who had access to a large garden, top of the range tech, and superb online schooling

Sure

And it makes what happened worse.

@MarshaBradyo

A family with money and badly affected dc might go for private counselling as wait lists were so long.

I don’t think we should fall into trap of oh they were fine they had tech etc

We shouldn’t accept it for any children

There's a general problem with chronic underfunding of mental health services that predates the pandemic. Like everything else, covid has exacerbated it.

But people keep voting Tory ... people keep refusing to have sensible conversations about the NHS and the impact an aging population has on it, people don't want to pay more taxes to fund decent healthcare / childcare / education/ community funding.

There are no easy fixes here. I think a majority of people are absolutely clueless about the millions of people who live miserable lives in this country. They just don't even see it.

Heretic part of the reason I feel so strongly about this is because I know who was hardest hit.

It’s unreal we just accepted it but we shouldn't again

I fear stronger unions actually as you can see in Chicago closure for 18 months for state only. The poorest without in class schooling all that time and segregated from those who paid

So fucked up. And people accepted it. Adults presumably wanted it too

At least here the CMO knew the harms of closing schools and talked about them, even if briefly

There was a lot of use of unofficial bubbles and outdoor socialisation in my area. All the kids living on our cul de sac were playing outside together in the winter lockdown, including doing outdoor learning tasks set by the various schools. We made boats from recycled objects and sailed them on a massive puddle in the park, built snow structures from the snow we cleared from the road and went sledging. Also made bird feeders, bug hotels and rode bikes/scooters together. Even in lockdown 1 parents were aware of the only children on their street and did some sneaky socialising - much easier in smaller 'contained' communities although there was a lot of gentle enquiry as to what was considered appropriate. Also accidental on purpose meets at playparks...

However this relies on the culture of the area, people having had the chance to meet neighbours and also being somewhere with "not garden" open space that is effectively private due to quirks of geography...

And for the most part patching up the harms (any mh provision) is far weaker than not causing them in the first place.- through school closures.

@noblegiraffe

If we’re looking at ways to ensure school closures don’t happen again (e.g. if we heaven forbid get a vaccine-evading variant) then a priority should obviously be measures to minimise the spread of covid in schools.

Yes this seems like an absolute no brainer really but somehow it's not happening. I heard something on the radio during the week about the positive benefits of air filters in school - are they actually going to get them for schools here, the way they have in other countries?

Anecdotally, I'm seeing about half a dozen tearful kids at the school gate every morning, clinging to parents and needing to be coaxed in. Used to be about 1 or 2.

So yeah, not all kids are more anxious, but the number of anxious ones seems bigger.

I heard something on the radio during the week about the positive benefits of air filters in school - are they actually going to get them for schools here, the way they have in other countries?

No. Schools have just this week been told to buy their own, and schools have no money.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4405224-Schools-told-by-the-DfE-to-buy-air-cleaning-units-to-reduce-covid-spread

Just like the Tories have only given a pitiful amount of money for covid catch-up in kids. They just don’t want to spend any money on schools or children.

@Oftenithinkaboutit

* The main reason my friends sent their kids to school was to get them out from under their feet - friends who got places in 2nd lockdown but not first. So not NHS, supermarket etc. So yeah most working people. *

I'm not forgetting about socialisation, I'm explaining why my friends sent their kids. Socialisation was never brought up as a factor in our many conversations about it. I'm not denying it was an issue for some kids, just that it wasn't a deciding factor for the people I know.

Classic middle class. And I speak as firmly middle class because I did exactly the same. Joked that I was relieved to get them back to school to get them from under feet!

But actually it was a lot more nuanced than that, and certainly involved socialisation. As the primary factor actually, given the online learning at the school was stellar

I'm not talking about off the cuff remarks made at school drop off, I'm talking about in-depth nuanced debate with good friends.

@MarshaBradyo

But I'm aware we were lucky in that respect as we were both key workers

Were your dc in school or not?

Did you homeschool and wfh?

I don’t buy the whole mc but poor other people stuff.

I’m in a mc bubble we were all feeling the same about it.

My children were not in school. They could have been, we did consider it.

We didn't homeschool. At all.

DH WFH around my hours, and when I was at work in emergencies (he's also a key worker but just more flexible). I worked in the hospital.

I'm not saying middle class Vs financially poor but those who had positive experiences, Vs those who didn't.

My children were not in school. They could have been, we did consider it.

We didn't homeschool. At all.

You’ve lost me

You didn’t send them in but also didn’t homeschool?

What did you do re their education?

@MarshaBradyo

Socialisation was never brought up as a factor in our many conversations about it. I'm not denying it was an issue for some kids, just that it wasn't a deciding factor for the people I know.

If they had places it wouldn’t be a topic really.

It was mostly only those who knew the massive impact of closed school that realised how key it was.

I'm talking about friends whose kids had no place in lockdown 1 but could potentially get a place during lockdown 2. And we debated amongst ourselves about whether to take them or not, apply for them or not. Reasons for and against etc. Let's face it, there wasn't much else to chat about. So the positives and negatives of lockdowns became a big discussion point. I'm assuming the same for you as you've obviously discussed it in real life - I expect most people have.

@MarshaBradyo

My children were not in school. They could have been, we did consider it.

We didn't homeschool. At all.

You’ve lost me

You didn’t send them in but also didn’t homeschool?

What did you do re their education?

Depends what you mean. We didn't follow the national curriculum or set school work. We didn't really do any educating in a traditional sense. We played mainly.