Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

Some people have short memories, no one was allowed to meet up even outside right at the beginning of lockdown and until the brought in bubbles it was really bloody isolating as a single parent and for many other lone adults I'm sure.

You couldn't even meet with a long term partner . Bloody madness when you think back on it all

It's low resilience we are seeing more of, though that is often linked to anxiety too. I teach infants and our year 2 children especially, seem the worst hit particularly regarding their resilience.

It had a big impact on both my teen DC’s mental health - mainly anxiety related.
They both had some MH issues prior to Covid, but they weren’t in the forefront of their lives - then everything stopped and it went to shit. First for dd then for ds. Uni experience also crap last year.

Think depends on the child....my neice aged 13 come out of lockdown more confident (she really enjoyed home schooling) and has enjoyed it ....my nephew aged 11 is a shadow of himself and Has lost all his confidence. My dd has come out of lockdown ok but I'm seeing a mixture of her friends...some in fact most due to her age (she's five) are ok and enjoyed the extra time with parents but others are really struggling. Saying that I'm noticing the almost two year olds have amazing language skills. Only time will tell if this will effect children in the long term.

All this talk of not being allowed to meet people, against the rules, illegal to meet up.
You are a free person! You always have to do what's best for your child. Outside of the people who had to be very careful and shield vulnerable members of their family, who I have full sympathy with, why could the rest of you not see, pretty quickly that not meeting people would be detrimental to your child's health?

I formed a bubble with other families with small children, so we always met up. Excluding probably the first 4 crazy weeks when no one knew anything. I always saw my mother, as she was willing to take the risk to her health, in return for social interactions, which we now realise is obviously so important for our overall health.

Closing the schools was most detrimental to older children/teenagers. I think lots of the under 10's were probably happy to be at home, but it's the older children who really needed those social interactions with their peers.

Schools are as necessary as hospitals. Schools should never close in the same way that hospitals should never close.

@blue12345

All this talk of not being allowed to meet people, against the rules, illegal to meet up. You are a free person! You always have to do what's best for your child. Outside of the people who had to be very careful and shield vulnerable members of their family, who I have full sympathy with, why could the rest of you not see, pretty quickly that not meeting people would be detrimental to your child's health?

I formed a bubble with other families with small children, so we always met up. Excluding probably the first 4 crazy weeks when no one knew anything. I always saw my mother, as she was willing to take the risk to her health, in return for social interactions, which we now realise is obviously so important for our overall health.

Closing the schools was most detrimental to older children/teenagers. I think lots of the under 10's were probably happy to be at home, but it's the older children who really needed those social interactions with their peers.

Schools are as necessary as hospitals. Schools should never close in the same way that hospitals should never close.

I agree with your last line

But I had a year 5/6 dc as well as a teen and I don’t think he was happy to be home. He hated the easy learning (yes we found other stuff), learning from a screen, lack of clubs and peers.

It was tough - the first for having just two worksheets a week and second tougher as weather worse and more screen and second time

But yes we should look pretty carefully at what as a society should keep open

Schools are as necessary as hospitals. Schools should never close in the same way that hospitals should never close

Perhaps the government should prioritise teaching staff for jabs and boosters then, like they do with health, social and care staff, if schools are so vital.

You say: “ All this talk of not being allowed to meet people, against the rules, illegal to meet up.
You are a free person! You always have to do what's best for your child. Outside of the people who had to be very careful and shield vulnerable members of their family, who I have full sympathy with, why could the rest of you not see, pretty quickly that not meeting people would be detrimental to your child's health? ”

But don’t you remember how the government encouraged people to snitch on those that broke the rules?

Don’t you remember the introduction of the £10k fine?

Don’t you remember the two ladies who went for a walk together, but that them carrying a cup of coffee constituted a picnic? Police was involved?

Don’t you remember the “look them in the eye” campaign?

My DS could not see his girlfriend for months at one time

We, as a family, were stopped (snitched on?) by police three times for various spurious reasons (one was about DS1 and DS2 playing football in an empty parking lot, they were sent home for breaking covid rules as “football is illegal”)

Don’t you remember?!

And younger than year 5 I’d say just as, maybe harder, on them as play with peers for younger age is so important. Digital substitute is very poor.

Anxiety in children was already a major problem especially in teens, whether lockdown has attributed to a rise will be complex - some may have been helped by not being at school, others suffered.

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

You say: “ All this talk of not being allowed to meet people, against the rules, illegal to meet up. You are a free person! You always have to do what's best for your child. Outside of the people who had to be very careful and shield vulnerable members of their family, who I have full sympathy with, why could the rest of you not see, pretty quickly that not meeting people would be detrimental to your child's health? ”

But don’t you remember how the government encouraged people to snitch on those that broke the rules?

Don’t you remember the introduction of the £10k fine?

Don’t you remember the two ladies who went for a walk together, but that them carrying a cup of coffee constituted a picnic? Police was involved?

Don’t you remember the “look them in the eye” campaign?

My DS could not see his girlfriend for months at one time

We, as a family, were stopped (snitched on?) by police three times for various spurious reasons (one was about DS1 and DS2 playing football in an empty parking lot, they were sent home for breaking covid rules as “football is illegal”)

Don’t you remember?!

I remember I just didn’t give a hoot Met up with friend and her son at 6am 2x a week. Glorious wood walks, football etc. Like medicine for me son and I

DH and I kept Covid discussions at home to an absolute minimum and I don't think DS even knew the term until he went back to nursery and then started school.

What has really affected him though was seeing his parents incredibly stressed from trying to juggle 2 FT professional jobs with childcare and being utterly exhausted as a result during both periods when school and nursery were closed. Even though we tried to shield our DCs as much as possible from the stress we were under I am sure that DS who started reception in 2020 picked up on it. He then had a reception year where they were washing their hands until red raw and bleeding up to 12 times a day, adults became faceless behind masks (no way of seeing a friendly smile from a teacher or mum at drop off or collection), unable to see grandparents, having to sit on a special spot on the floor, being put in a "sibling bubble" at preschool with his baby sister and not being allowed to play with his friends...

He is now in Year 1 and DH and I were discussing how increasingly concerned we are about him. He is scared to try new things, scared of breaking rules, very shy around new people, prefers being in the house and is addicted to screens.

I couldn’t drop in to see my mother because she lives several hundred miles away. I couldn’t spend my days having lovely picnics and playing football in the park because I was working while looking after my kids, and plus the police were doing regular patrols of the parks. I could not bubble with other families with young children because families I knew with young children either didn’t want to break the rules or didn’t dare (either fines or covid).

Glad other people had a lovely time though! What larks. Picnics, walks, meet-ups, and that #makingmemories glow of knowing you’re just so much better than all those people whose children were struggling, that could never happen to your kids, no no no.

@TeaForPterosaur

My toddler became terrified of people. When playgrounds reopened it took a day or two to coax her back onto the equipment, but for months if another child approached her she’d run away, and if an adult spoke to her she’d burst into tears.

She developed selective mutism, where she wouldn’t speak outside the house even to us. We are lucky that where we live selective mutism is dealt with by SLT so we got referred for help through them. In the next authority over it’s CAMHS and the waiting list is forever. So we got support and workshops and so on, and over months and months she’s getting more confident and will talk a bit more now. I dread another lockdown sending her back to square one.

You managed to get your 1 year old referred for treatment during lockdown for selective mutism?

My 1 year old wasn’t even talking at 1!

You managed to get your 1 year old referred for treatment during lockdown for selective mutism?

It has been a while since lockdown 1. Children who were 1 in March of 2020 are - shock! - not 1-year-olds now.

Look, I can see that you clearly find it difficult to think things through before saying them. But people are discussing their very miserable children here. Could you at least try to understand that other people have different experiences to you? And that this might not be all their own fault? Just give it a few minutes. Practice in front of a mirror or something.

Still impressive to get referred for a 2 year old for selective mutism following lockdown. Very impressive.

@Oftenithinkaboutit

Still impressive to get referred for a 2 year old for selective mutism following lockdown. Very impressive.

Sigh.

oh no, you got me. I am making all this up. My toddler is actually totally fine and I am inventing her diagnosed anxiety disorder because I couldn’t be arsed to take her for picnics.

That’s not true, but it’s clearly what you want to hear. So I am saying it in the hopes that you will now fuck off and leave people to discuss their experiences in peace without you poking at them to make yourself feel better.

I guess it depends on the age. My DS is 4 so was 2 when this all started. Only one nursery closure at the beginning and then things were pretty normal for him so he has been fine.

Anecdotally though I know more people who have suffered with MH issues (some pretty extreme) than have caught Covid.

@Howshouldibehave

Schools are as necessary as hospitals. Schools should never close in the same way that hospitals should never close

Perhaps the government should prioritise teaching staff for jabs and boosters then, like they do with health, social and care staff, if schools are so vital.

This was always the most utterly baffling thing. That teachers weren’t prioritised

You can see what happens when unions are stronger and other voices / experts like CMO is weaker

Chicago shut state schools for 18 months

That is a massive failing

At least we didn’t have that but just hearing that it’s possible for adults to allow this is bad enough

No issues with my child (now 6). Several adults I know have become germphobes though but those people were already quite anal and over thinkers.

My youngest was referred to salt at 22 months , although it was the specialist autism salt team

Chicago shut state schools for 18 months

That is a massive failing

Absolutely appalling. With so many unable to access online learning that's a huge number of children utterly let down.

I believe that in Chicago teachers actually were prioritised for vaccines and yet still didn't go back for months after that.

My eldest is ok I think. She is in Year 1 now so in nursery when first lockdown hit. Nursery was in the same school that she's in now and they dealt with it all very well so I think that helped.

I have a friend who has had real struggles with her child who is the same age and it's been very hard for them all.

My youngest was about 8 months when first lockdown hit and she was extremely fearful of new people, especially men, for about a year. I know some babies are like this anyway but her personality now is just the polar opposite and she is very confident and friendly so I do wonder whether it was exaggerated by the isolation.

@nanbread

The second divisive lockdown was really damaging for friendships in my experience, with very close groups formed among the (over 50%) of kids allowed into school.

Yep. My DC1's three best friends were in school every day together whereas he was stuck at home. They are a bit too young to want to do video calls etc. It was very hard and upsetting.

Yes, that was disgusting. Some children deemed worthy of socialisation and adequate education, others not.

I did not share the state's view that my DC were in the second group during this period, and so ensured they saw other children as frequently as I could during this period, legally and otherwise, but not every parent was able to facilitate this.