Aibu to think that a lot of kids are extremely anxious after lockdown?

[MrsHookey]

I've got one child who seems extremely anxious since lockdown. Anecdotally it seems like a few kids I know are like this. Is this a wider thing? Are mumsnetters finding their children have become anxious since March 2020?

The issue is schools have always been the key hotbed of infections which is why in desperation to get numbers down people say that

That is literally untrue, especially for younger children (i.e. the ones who really really should not be missing schools). Unless you have some evidence @User135644?

Walking every day with your parents gets pretty tedious pretty quickly...once we entered the second lockdown in Jan-mar, my DC had enough of bloody walks in the cold weather.

All of those saying 'well I wasn't anxious so nor were my DC.'

Did you ever stop to think that some parents had very good reason to be anxious about covid? That some parents are CEV? That some parents had to go into work with covid patients daily, and so their children were being told that on the one hand this illness is so serious that you can't see friends for months on end but on the other hand their Mummy or Daddy has to be in extremely close contact with this illness for hours each day, before we knew much at all about it? That some parents lost their co-parent, and their children's other parent, to the illness? That some parents had parents of their own dying in care homes and there was no hope whatsoever of seeing them? That some parents caught covid early on and had to home school and put on that same happy show we all did while suffering from long covid?

None of these situations apply to me, but they all apply to friends of mine. Honestly, if you had nothing to be anxious about, maybe you could consider yourself lucky (as I do) and have a little empathy.

(And I'm not belittling, in any way, those whose DC are suffering 'simply' because of the enormous upheaval to their lives.)

A ‘daily walk’ isn’t a huge help when it’s literally illegal to meet up with a single other child. This was the position only children were in during the second lockdown (and possibly the first; I can’t remember). My dd was too young to go out by herself and meet a friend, but if I took her out to meet someone we were breaking the law. Let that sink in: it was ILLEGAL FOR HER TO SEE ANOTHER CHILD. No amount of calm, anxiety-free parenting can make up for that.

And don’t get me started on zoom. She wouldn’t engage with zoom or FaceTime towards the end of the lockdowns as she just wanted to see people in person.

Utter bullshit, hamster. I was asking for schools to be made safer, not to close them.

I even ended up making it a thread title because people kept lying about what I was saying.

No rewriting history here. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4095400-noblegiraffe-wants-SAFER-schools-not-closed-schools-Do-you

@bookworm14

A ‘daily walk’ isn’t a huge help when it’s literally illegal to meet up with a single other child. This was the position only children were in during the second lockdown (and possibly the first; I can’t remember). My dd was too young to go out by herself and meet a friend, but if I took her out to meet someone we were breaking the law. Let that sink in: it was ILLEGAL FOR HER TO SEE ANOTHER CHILD. No amount of calm, anxiety-free parenting can make up for that.

And don’t get me started on zoom. She wouldn’t engage with zoom or FaceTime towards the end of the lockdowns as she just wanted to see people in person.

I was sick of zoom let alone it being a decent substitution for children seeing their peers

I remember KW dc going past whilst I luckily got to use private nursery for youngest and my dc stuck inside learning on screen for another term

The amount of posts going on about digital learning being good enough

As for anxiety re pp the people who understood the impact of closures weren’t anxious about covid.

This thread is really resonating with me.

How I would love my children to have been able to shrug and get on with it, for their sakes.

Actually my DS14 has done, mostly, bar a few issues which could be teen/hormone related regardless of the impact of lockdowns, which he seemed to weather pretty well.

However whilst my DD10 has always been quiet and shy, now huge anxiety and crippling lack of confidence and self esteem are the order of the day.

Her teacher just told me (and if you're reading this Mrs O, it absolutely devastated me) that she has never known a child with such little confidence and self-esteem.

How to know where to start in the face of such a statement, to help my daughter.

My DD is bright and is loved and supported but her insecurities overwhelm her and the past two years have massively impacted her social and emotional development.

I'm so worried about the impact of Covid and its legacy on our young people.

@noblegiraffe

I've just read the opener you put on that thread and again it is not bullshit to say that your priority was YOU. It was never children. You actually say it.

And you wanted masks in classrooms.

I'm sorry but you still fail to see how you were whipping this up here. Putting yourself first, and not giving a thought to the consequences firstly of demonising children as being vectors for disease (untrue) and secondly for the long-term impact of closing schools. And yes you were calling for that unless they could comply with your ridiculous rules

[quote hamstersarse]@noblegiraffe

I've just read the opener you put on that thread and again it is not bullshit to say that your priority was YOU. It was never children. You actually say it.

And you wanted masks in classrooms.

I'm sorry but you still fail to see how you were whipping this up here. Putting yourself first, and not giving a thought to the consequences firstly of demonising children as being vectors for disease (untrue) and secondly for the long-term impact of closing schools. And yes you were calling for that unless they could comply with your ridiculous rules[/quote]
👏🏻

My DC seem to have come out of it ok (I'm a SAHP) but I have noticed that the toddlers at the more organised toddler groups (sport, music, gymnastics) are in general much clingier to their parents than they were for DC1 (now 6). My just turned 3 year old is the youngest in his music group but the most willing to go around independently. He's obsessed by using hand gel but not in a germ fear way - but he seems to like the feeling of hand gel (weird child).

My 6 yo thrived academically (basically private teaching from me with teacher setting the work) and has done ok socially although her accent is very much still a mix of posh southern (parents) and West Midlands and is only just acquiring a hint of our new local accent (Glasgow area) which I assume hasn't helped with fitting in.

We know stability and predictability are important for children so it shouldn’t be a surprise that 18 months of constant chop and change has made them feel insecure.

This.

I'd say we've been able to maintain a lot of stablity for them - we haven't had job losses DSis and her DP had in last 18 months or childcare places issues.

Many things still aren't back to normal school -masks all day are back, teacher absences, uncertainty around external exams many of their groups haven't come back and now look unlikely to and school trips aren't happening this year. I think the school is trying it's best to get back to normal - all day masks were reaction to high covid levels.

Things we were think of doing again cinermas and theaters now need passes which put us off - and that's despite rates dropping and there talk of extending that further.

Our children aren't in a bad place, compared to many of their peers they've had it easy, but they've missed many opportunites that helped eldest gain experince, confidence and skills which is unfortunately but unavoidable.

However there is still unceratinly still around their lives and their reactions seem to be avoiding future planning/booking - which was an issue when trying to get them to think about careers or get them excited about anything in future. I image a less stable homelife more covid related impact (less luck than we had -) then yes I could see them easily being extremely anxious.

It's not just children, lots of sectors have been floored by covid.
I know elderly people who still aren't going out, uni students who avoid nightclubs like the plague, young parents with very little support and NHS staff who are on anxiety meds now.
It's not helped by all the news of impending ecological doom.

[quote hamstersarse]@noblegiraffe

I've just read the opener you put on that thread and again it is not bullshit to say that your priority was YOU. It was never children. You actually say it.

And you wanted masks in classrooms.

I'm sorry but you still fail to see how you were whipping this up here. Putting yourself first, and not giving a thought to the consequences firstly of demonising children as being vectors for disease (untrue) and secondly for the long-term impact of closing schools. And yes you were calling for that unless they could comply with your ridiculous rules[/quote]
Well said Hamstersarse.

Schools closed from January to March because they couldn’t justifiably be kept open due to the rampant covid in them which was leaking into the community and contributing to spiralling death rates.

Everyone on this thread is absolutely clear that closing schools has had a devastating impact on children.

And yet you still assert that the idea that mitigation measures in schools (including masks) which would have lessened the spread in schools and possibly kept them open instead of closed was a bad one?

Complete failure of logic there. Lack of mitigation measures closed schools. Closed schools was worse for kids than mitigation measures in open schools.

Arguing for no mitigation measures in schools was stupid and wrong and led to school closures, to the utter detriment of the children that you claim I don’t care about.

The people who wanted no mitigation measures in schools got their way and closed schools. Well done you.

In the Jan-mar school closure, half the school were in on key workers places, yet it was illegal for the children stuck at home to meet a friend in the park...some fucked up logic there. Very divisive...I became very resentful of those whose kids were allowed in school as I saw my dds mood plummet.

@Comedycook

In the Jan-mar school closure, half the school were in on key workers places, yet it was illegal for the children stuck at home to meet a friend in the park...some fucked up logic there. Very divisive...I became very resentful of those whose kids were allowed in school as I saw my dds mood plummet.

Yes. At least during the first lockdown almost everyone was in the same boat, but during the second one over half DD’s class seemed to be in school. It made no sense.

@Comedycook

In the Jan-mar school closure, half the school were in on key workers places, yet it was illegal for the children stuck at home to meet a friend in the park...some fucked up logic there. Very divisive...I became very resentful of those whose kids were allowed in school as I saw my dds mood plummet.

Yes hugely divisive

Luckily Ds school barely let dc in but posts from here where dc could see friends on screen in school were so bad.

@noblegiraffe

Schools closed from January to March because they couldn’t justifiably be kept open due to the rampant covid in them which was leaking into the community and contributing to spiralling death rates.

Everyone on this thread is absolutely clear that closing schools has had a devastating impact on children.

And yet you still assert that the idea that mitigation measures in schools (including masks) which would have lessened the spread in schools and possibly kept them open instead of closed was a bad one?

Complete failure of logic there. Lack of mitigation measures closed schools. Closed schools was worse for kids than mitigation measures in open schools.

Arguing for no mitigation measures in schools was stupid and wrong and led to school closures, to the utter detriment of the children that you claim I don’t care about.

The people who wanted no mitigation measures in schools got their way and closed schools. Well done you.

^this

Iggly which mitigations would have made you ok with open schools from Jan to March?

Masks
Ventilation - Could you rebuild windows in schools in time with no open windows
If you mean SD then we’re back to rota issues with half learning time

So would you have gone back with masks?

@Opal8

I am a chair of governors

Our safeguarding referrals are up 274%

That is not a typo

@TheKeatingFive

I'm not the poster in question, however ..

You met with a friend also with a young toddler for a walk

I don't think this was actually allowed in lockdown 1

You face times friends and family?

Plenty of 1 year olds would find it very hard to engage like this through a screen.

You went outside every day?

And yes you were allowed a socially distanced walk with one other.

* You can meet one other person from another household in an outdoor public place - those places include parks, beaches, the countryside, public gardens and playgrounds, but not private gardens. Children under school age, as well as those who need round-the-clock-care, do not count towards the total. So yes, two adults with babies can meet in a park.*

So you could have done

@MarshaBradyo

Iggly which mitigations would have made you ok with open schools from Jan to March?

Masks
Ventilation - Could you rebuild windows in schools in time with no open windows
If you mean SD then we’re back to rota issues with half learning time

So would you have gone back with masks?

I would have taken the advice of epidemiologists instead of deciding with politics in mind.

The government should never have returned full swing in the preceding September. They didn’t have a decent test and trace system in place. (I remember the “surprise” at an increase in testing demand). They should not have rammed schools back as normal and yes should have looked at things like reducing attendance in schools and having rotas. They didn’t even do the basics like have a decent list of symptoms for people to get covid tests and isolate quickly.

But ultimately, the decision in Jan was inevitable because of months and months of poor decision making which led to an explosion of cases.

Our government has made a catalogue of errors which meant it ended up needing stupidly harder lockdowns as a result.

I hope and pray this government is not in power for the next pandemic.

Yes definitely - my DS (10) suffered with anxiety before, but he's now much, much worse. I struggle getting him to school some days and he cries every morning. If we do anything different or something new happens at school, he'll have a panic attack. Luckily his school is amazing and he now goes in early and sees a counsellor 3 times a week. Our GP referred him to CAMHS in June and we finally have an assessment next week, so I'm hoping that he'll get some more help.

The government should never have returned full swing in the preceding September.

I couldn’t disagree more. We should have had more dc back in summer too.

The idea that for the one term they were in people wanted to reduce in class time astounds me. If we had introduced ‘blended learning’ dc would have had 20% in class time and that’s it.

It was bad enough as it was tf we didn’t make it worse.

I hope we have a better voice for children in the next pandemic. So many were happy to fail them in this one.