Boys and Ballet class

[AandWsMum]

My son is 3 and desperate to start Ballet classes. While I think this is great I have a few worries as an ex pro dancer:

1 - Boys get a lot of attention in my experience, as far less of them go eg. Always at the front in dances, doing main parts… and he is much more of “fade into the group” sort of child who loves to be involved but can be shy if he’s centre of attention. I’m worried it’ll be a bit too much for him

2 - people already think I’m pushing him to do more stereotypically “girly” things - he loves Drag, makeup, we paint his nails etc… it he’s also really into things like rugby and tools! I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to make him into something just because I was a dancer myself - I don’t want anyone to take the piss out of him either

Should I tell him he has to wait? I feel like if he’s a bit older then it does look more like it something he wants to do rather than it coming from me (even though he wants to go because some of his friends do) Or am I just overthinking this? He already does Swimming, Rugby & Gymnastics so it’s not like he’s short on activities….

(His dad just thinks get on with it but the grandparents are all being a bit judgemental)

Kids this age love dressing up in anything - who doesn't love dressing up ? I know at uni we all loved fancy dress nights and the blokes loved dressing up as women.
Does he have the energy for another activity? If so let him do it. Why wouldn't you? If it's too pushy because he's a boy and he doesn't like it then you can say something or he can stop.

If he wants to try, let him try. He sounds articulate enough to tell you if he doesn't enjoy it so you can stop if he doesn't want to go back.

My DS is 4, he does Irish dancing. His class is very female heavy (there's just him and one other boy) and I do find that the two boys end up in photos representing the class most weeks. My take is that the teacher is trying to make the class more appealing to other boys and generate a bit of interest, it's not a big deal. If your son doesn't want to be 'front and centre' then he won't be, people can't usually force kids into those kinds of roles against their will, because shows etc would be a disaster when the child refuses to perform.

You're overthinking it.

You let him do ‘drag’ and paint his nails with no issue but you think people will take the piss because he does ballet?

I imagine he’ll be fine.

You're overthinking OP. Let him do it. If he doesn't like it its no big deal. If he doesn't like it, he will tell you, but if he doesn't try it, he won't know.
He's only little and its just an extension of playing at this point.
He does a lot already but if you can afford it then why not?

Also - do you think you're pushing him into stereotypically 'girly' things? Or are you just parenting a child ? If its the latter then you need to ignore 'people' and carry on.

Dressing up is a very, very normal developmental stage in line with your child's age. Particularly role play as adults.
So your child is not doing drag. They're just being a big standard child.

Andnof course ballet is fine for boys. I'd be less worried about a boy than a girl because of the eating disorders encouraged in girls ballet.

You're an ex pro dancer and questioning whether it's ok for your child to do ballet, even though you let him watch drag shows and paint his nails?

Did you just want to tell us you're an ex pro dancer?

Too many activities. Stop scheduling his whole life.

Bog standard. Not big standard.

Letting your boy dress up, play with make up, enjoying see other OTT dressing up = no judgmental comments from others.

Calling that normal behaviour “loves drag”= the source of the judgment.

Because he really does sound very try hard to be alternative / creative / woke / clever 🤷🏻‍♀️

*it really sounds

As an ex Nursery teacher I can tell you that a lot of boys of this age dress up like this but they don't call it 'drag' only because they don't know the word.

No, it's because drag is not 'just dressing up', which as pps have said is bog-standard normal for young children. It's a pastiche of womanhood with its own particular history and culture. It is very adult.

Just let him be a child.

If people are judgemental towards you, it's because you're claiming adult sophistication for a three year-old and they either think you're a massive (and deluded) show-off, or that there's something unsavoury about you trying to push adult, sexuality-originated social constructs onto a small child.

So maybe stop doing that and just let the kid dance if he wants to?

There will be more boys in the early years of ballet. They'll drop out gradually, so it's later on that the extra attention might come into play.

Reminds me of, 'Billy Elliot'.
I love that film! If you haven't already seen it,
please do so. It's great!

(And yes, to your DS ballet.)

Well, the boys in ballet part, anyway -- not any of the other things!