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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Having a child is the worst thing you can do for the environment

376 replies

saveourtrees · 14/11/2021 16:15

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. My family of 7 (I will not apologise for my children's lives) create less waste than my brother and his girlfriend. In fact we take in their pet waste and food waste for composting.
Virtually all of our clothes, toys, boardgames, furniture is secondhand. A couple of white goods (does oven count as white goods?)
we grow our some of own food, process and preserve, batchcook and freeze, hardly ever use the heating (hot water bottles and blankets), bake, make dinners from scratch etc.
I knit (using wool from the charity shop), sew badly to fix holes in clothes.
we don't buy cards or wrapping paper, we do absolutely everything we can.

We still make about 1.5 black bags full of rubbish a week though, solely from food packaging. We just don't have enough to stretch to a zero waste bulk shop in the city center. But one day, when I go back to work I think we could probably manage it.

So why am I feeling guilty for having children? If it wasn't for my children I probably wouldn't have even cared as much about the environment and the state of the world. A big drive for me changing from a typical consumer to a more conscious one was the birth of my first child. Suddenly when people asked 'what world are we leaving for our children?' they were talking about my children.

I think the eco conscious people not reproducing to ''save the planet'' is stupid. If the people who care, who would teach their children to mend and say no to fast fashion, eat less meat, don't holiday abroad, etc. .. if they don't have children but the avid consumers do then isn't that worse? There will be less eco friendly grownups in 20/ 30 years but just as many grown-ups who weren't taught by their parents how to be eco friendly

I don't know, but don't come onto mumsnet and tell mums they shouldn't have had their children. That really is horrible.

OP posts:
saveourtrees · 14/11/2021 16:16

PS I am incredibly ashamed and embarrassed about making that much waste. It still isn't as much as what me and dh made before we had children though.

OP posts:
Porfre · 14/11/2021 16:18

Dont worry about what people here think.

Everyone's got an opinion.

Personally I wouldn't bother with anyone who told me I shouldn't have had kids, or comments I've had too many kids.
They should mind their own.

Binxthecat · 14/11/2021 16:19

I’m vegan so I like to think that balances the environmental impact of having a child and a dog and cats..

Helenahandbasketbing · 14/11/2021 16:20

How many bin bags you put out each week isn’t how environmental impact is measured.

DrSbaitso · 14/11/2021 16:20

If it wasn't for my children I probably wouldn't have even cared as much about the environment and the state of the world.

That's a real shame.

Evelyn52 · 14/11/2021 16:21

Of course it is, you can justify it all you like but you feel guilty because you know it's true. However it's your choice and no-one else's business tbh.

MrsColon · 14/11/2021 16:21

YANBU. There are a lot of smug, self-congratulatory folk on MN who present their choice to have one or two DC as 'for environmental reasons'. Bullshit! Most people only want one or two DC. People are re-writing the past so vehemently that they come to believe it themselves.

Then they think that absolves them from making any changes that are remotely inconvenient to help the environment - oh, we did our bit and only had one/two children. Conveniently forgetting that we need people to have DC to pay our pensions, and to be our future doctors, scientists and engineers!

Porfre · 14/11/2021 16:21

Seriously you wont please the eco-conscious on this board. I wouldn't waste my time.

You're doing well for you.

Calamityhuman · 14/11/2021 16:22

But they will all grow up and probably have a house each (that needs heating), drive a car each and potentially have their own children. It’s not really just about how much waste you make.

NadiaVulvokov · 14/11/2021 16:22

But it does sound like you feel guilty though?

Binxthecat · 14/11/2021 16:23

@MrsColon
Totally agree. My decision to have just one child has nothing to do with my concern for environment.

toconclude · 14/11/2021 16:23

@Helenahandbasketbing

How many bin bags you put out each week isn’t how environmental impact is measured.
THIS. Honestly OP, do the research. Your 'disagreement' doesn't automatically make something not so
Returnoftheowl · 14/11/2021 16:23

People points fingers at people doing differently to themselves...the SUV drivers point at the long-haul flyers, who point at people with lots of children, who then point at... And so it goes on.
Everyone can justify what they are doing that isn't eco-friendly, but try and call out other for not making exactly the same choices as them.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 14/11/2021 16:23

I don't think saying that 'having a child is the worst thing you can do for the environment' is tantamount to someone telling you that you personally should not have had your child(ren).

In terms of the statement, what it's getting at is that every new person produced is one more lifetime carbon footprint, rather than that families with children produce more waste than families without.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 14/11/2021 16:24

It doesn't matter how green your day-to-day life is in terms of weaving your own pants and making your own yogurt. You've had 5 kids and they will most likely go on to have at least one kid each. You've created a lot of people who will all go on to have a huge carbon footprint for decades to come.

I'm not being aggro, just factual. A person who doesn't give two hoots about recycling or plastic waste or flying around the globe three times a year etc will still have a far smaller impact than you if they never have kids.

BiscuitLover09876 · 14/11/2021 16:24

@Evelyn52

Of course it is, you can justify it all you like but you feel guilty because you know it's true. However it's your choice and no-one else's business tbh.
It's not true. There are various ways to measure environmental impact. Having children is not the worst thing you can do.

Don't worry op, not everyone thinks like mumsnet.

These same people who don't have children have other primary reasons why they don't have children. They also tend to take a lot of planes and eat a lot of meat. We all do our bit and keeping humans on the plane is actually an ok thing to do. Confused

BiscuitLover09876 · 14/11/2021 16:25

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

It doesn't matter how green your day-to-day life is in terms of weaving your own pants and making your own yogurt. You've had 5 kids and they will most likely go on to have at least one kid each. You've created a lot of people who will all go on to have a huge carbon footprint for decades to come.

I'm not being aggro, just factual. A person who doesn't give two hoots about recycling or plastic waste or flying around the globe three times a year etc will still have a far smaller impact than you if they never have kids.

No, the people already existing and ageing are the issue.

What's your point? Wipe out the human race? 🤦🏻‍♀️

WorraLiberty · 14/11/2021 16:25

@Calamityhuman

But they will all grow up and probably have a house each (that needs heating), drive a car each and potentially have their own children. It’s not really just about how much waste you make.
Yes, I thought that ^^ was what it's all about

Not how many bags your binmen take away?

Tootsey11 · 14/11/2021 16:26

You are only thinking of the here and now. What individual impact will each of those children make over their lifetime. No one needs 7 kids. You wanted them, you didn't NEED them.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 14/11/2021 16:26

These same people who don't have children have other primary reasons why they don't have children. They also tend to take a lot of planes and eat a lot of meat.

I agree with the first sentence, but where on earth is your evidence for childfree people flying more or eating more meat?

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 14/11/2021 16:26

What's your point? Wipe out the human race?

Ah, sweet. 18 posts in and the hysteria is already here.

BiscuitLover09876 · 14/11/2021 16:27

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

I don't think saying that 'having a child is the worst thing you can do for the environment' is tantamount to someone telling you that you personally should not have had your child(ren).

In terms of the statement, what it's getting at is that every new person produced is one more lifetime carbon footprint, rather than that families with children produce more waste than families without.

This makes more sense. However having a carbon footprint is ok if each person reduces what theirs is.

Again, humans are allowed to exist just as much as any other species.

MrsColon · 14/11/2021 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

LadyoftheWoods · 14/11/2021 16:27

There was an article in the guardian about this last week. The conclusion was the global birth rate is slowing and will soon be in decline. It's also the case that the earth could easily support the number of people it has, it's the way we live that isn't sustainable so I would say that as you're already making the lifestyle changes we should all be making, you're on the right track. I think it's easy to say reducing the number of children will solve the environmental crisis, of course it won't. We need fundamental changes to how we live

BiscuitLover09876 · 14/11/2021 16:28

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

What's your point? Wipe out the human race?

Ah, sweet. 18 posts in and the hysteria is already here.

It's not hysterical, your point is just very illogical and you already can't answer the question.