Anyone else constantly scrutinise their appearance?

[Apacheshadows]

I wish I didn’t, nobody is perfect, and I know that social media is full of filtered pics but I still criticise my looks a lot.

I’m only 31, but I feel like my eye sockets look slightly sunken and that I’ve deep lines under and around my eyes. I had filler before which gave an amazing result, but I can’t afford it every time plus the procedure was pretty uncomfortable.

Same with Botox, can’t afford it every 4/5 months. Have started using Boots no7 retinol, no idea if it’ll actually work but I know it takes a while.

Teeth seem yellow but I can’t afford that, don’t know if whitening toothpaste has much effect.

Filler in my nose which is wearing off.

Basically it’s all things I’ve had before that have worn off and I cannot afford to have them redone every few months.

I constantly pick things apart when I look in the mirror and it’s unhealthy. Has anybody else been through this and been able to love themselves for how they look or at least accept it ?

Following with interest Op. I'm in a similar position, although I can afford more treatment, I'd like to learn just to accept...but it's hard.

It’s annoying because I don’t drink at all, I’ve never smoked, I wear sunscreen spf 50 every day, I go to bed early etc and at 31 I have these huge signs of aging around my eyes.

I hear you! I think sometimes it's genetic

My partner thinks I’m mad to want Botox, fillers etc and says I’m great just as I am. I wish I could feel the same

You'd feel better if you drank 😂

It’s maybe genetic yeah, just feel that it makes me look tired all the time

Haha maybe I would 😀

You're suffering more than I ever have, and I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice here, but honestly stop looking in the mirror, when you find yourself standing there looking at yourself with that critical eye, catch it and bin it. Second, change the narrative. What're the best bits of you. Practice this endlessly.
Hope you feel better soon.

YANBU to feel anyway you do but social media is doing a number on you and compromising your mental health to benefit the beauty industry.

Could you and the other poster take a break from social (which you know is not real) and see if it has a beneficial impact on your self perception? Lots of upside / not a ton of downside.

I feel like it’s a lot harder on women than men, I will try to stop looking in the mirror as much if I can.

I know that a large majority of celebrities have had plastic surgery or have at least Botox and fillers, that they aren’t necessarily ‘real’ looking people .

I've always been happy with how I look - not because I am staggeringly gorgeous. I'm also 44. Most people think I look younger, but if I look at my face closely in the mirror the lines etc are clear.

BUT I know that no one is looking that close up at my face. No one does that, that's not how we look at people's faces. It would be very weird and rude for someone to put their face right up to yours to look for lines or dark circles or blemishes.

I’m the same age as you OP and it’s really sad to hear that you feel the need to get fillers and botox.. looking at some before and after shots of people with nose fillers for example, both look fine and in some cases can see a difference but it’s not a huge difference. It just doesn’t seem worth the price tag or the pain.

Obviously I don’t know what you look like, but I think you’re thinking you look bad / not ‘perfect’, when the reality is probably quite different.

How about taking care of yourself and your bank balance by drinking plenty of water, not overdoing the caffeine or alcohol and upping your antioxidant, vitamin and mineral intake (ideally through your diet, or as much as possible!). Get plenty of sleep, practise self-care, do regular exercise that makes you feel good. Surely that is worth a lot more to your looks than fillers and botox. And limit your time on social media - it’s been proven that it causes problems with self-esteem and body image. Audit the accounts you follow. Some counselling/CBT could help with how you feel about yourself. Try to look for things you like about yourself when you look in the mirror - not things that you don’t like. The negative self-talk just spirals from there.

And social media is full of filtered and photoshopped images. You know people take tens of photos before finally picking one, too. Completely unrealistic as a comparison tool.

As for the teeth, you can get really good whitening strips in Boots that won’t break the bank. Save your money for activities that make you feel good and better yourself as a person. Or try out some new makeup, if that makes you feel good.

Sorry, just seen you don’t really drink OP, that’s good!

I’m 30 OP and I hardly notice any signs of ageing in my face yet - sure there are those tiny fine lines and crow’s feet starting up, but not so much that it bothers me. By contrast when I was 25 I was thinking I was looking like I was ageing and might need Botox etc - never ended up getting it. At the time, I was feeling really low in self-esteem generally and there were some issues in my life that were very stressful. I really think it’s a state of mind and I very much doubt at 31 you need all this regular Botox, fillers etc. Stop comparing yourself to filtered Insta pics and start focusing on the nice things about your appearance - a new lipstick and a hair cut usually works for me!

@LegArmpits

You'd feel better if you drank 😂

Yes!

And try to stop giving a shit.

I’m about to turn 40 and my enemy when I was in my teens and 20s was glossy magazines and now my enemy is social media. I steer clear as I can’t help compare myself to the gorgeous actors and celebrities my ages who appear effortlessly beautiful.

Honestly, I think a level of acceptance of the ageing process is necessary. I always put myself together, make sure my hair is looking ok and a bit of make up but ultimately I don’t look as ‘good’ as I did 5 years ago but I never will!

Thanks for all the replies, I’ll try to stay off social media more and remember how unrealistic it is, as well as not looking in the mirror so much

Stop looking at yourself so much. No one is perfect !

JuSt to say that I feel the same. Overly the last year I've got pressed obsessed with hating my appearance. I sometimes think starting the aesthetic treatments can be a disaster in itself.
I was never completely happy with my appearance but have always been told I'm very pretty etc.
Over the last 3 years I feel as if my fave is falling apart and these feelings have worsened since my first Botox treatment!
I know focus on everything.
I only decided to have Botox because I had one 'elevens' line that was getting deep, they suggested Botox for other areas of my fave and now I get that every 3-4 months.
I also had under eye filler which did help my dark circles but was never done properly and gave bulges under my eyes I became obsessed with. I then became obsessed with hating my undereye area and focused on it. However now hate all the lines around my mouth, the indents when I smile. I hate everything. I can't even make eye contact with my partner because I hate him looking at me and I do my make up in semi darkness around 2 meters from the mirror, so I don't see my face properly.

Sorry, just realised my list isn't offering anything helpful. I just wanted to say you're not alone. Also, I do wish I could relax, focus on other things and not feel the need to do anything to my face because it can become an unhealthy obsession.

Gosh gooduck deciphering my post. My phone has gone autocorrect crazy!

That meant to say *over the last year I've got pretty obsessed with hating my appearance.

Also meant to say 'face' not 'fave'

And also to add that when I went for my most recent treatment I was informed of my asymmetric face and my need for midface filler. I was also told I need chin filler (no idea why or how this works). You go in for one thing and get told all your flaws!

Try smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror. You’ll look better, everyone does when smiling, and that’ll make you feel better

Sounds like they’re playing on your insecurities. They say you ‘need’ x, y and z because they get more money out of you and the cycle continues. You get more and more done and end up obsessing more and get more done, and so on. Have you read up on body dysmorphia?

I've been having Botox / filler since I was 29.
I noticed my crows feet when I was 23/24. Should've probably started then...!

Im 35 now. I'd love to stop, but I'm so critical of my face as soon as those lines show.
A lot of my friends who are the same age of me have lots of wrinkles, and I actually think they look good. Just not me...

I also have a big forehead, and hair not well suited for fringe styling so I couldn't hide those forehead lines.

My mother was overly critical of her looks when I was a child. And always told me how "awful it is to get old" so maybe it stems from that.

The other day I asked my DH "do your crows feet bother you?" And he laughed. They don't.

It's not fair.

I pretty much hate the way I look
I used to be a proper stunner..
Now I'm 30 and sometimes I can barely look in the mirror

It affects me all day every day!
I wish I knew how to be happy and basically get the fuck over myself but I just can't..
I can't look at old photos either! I just want to weep..

I hate the way I way I look but I’m looking back on my years with rose tinted glasses. I was attractive and still am , but in in a different way.
I’ve got very little wrinkles but my hair is grey but my figure is great but most of all I am kind , funny and bright- well, the ones that love me the most tell me.
It’s a fickle world but I am sure you are doing yourself down .It’s not always about appearances but I understand that it may be important to some people.
I just look the best I can be and it’s not good enough ,fuck ‘em!