DP has come over then gone to the gym

[chloemori]

I haven't seen DP in a few days (we don't live together). This morning my DS had an activity so we were doing that whilst DP was at home not doing much. He came over at 1pm. At 2:30pm he announced he was going to the gym and would be back in a couple of hours. I'm seeing my friend for a few hours later and DP's having his DC extra all day tomorrow so I won't see him then.

Am I being unreasonable here? Surely he should have gone to the gym this morning instead of going during the few hours we have together today. He doesn't see any issue at all and thinks I'm moaning!

@Benjispruce5

If I had a child and my new partner didn’t want to be around my child ever, he would be gone.

He wasn't invited to the morning plans by the sound of things

Yes @girlmom21 I was replying to someone up thread that said he wanted the gym because op was with her child.

@Benjispruce5

Yes *@girlmom21* I was replying to someone up thread that said he wanted the gym because op was with her child.

I didn’t say that. I asked if OPs child was there.

The OP arranged for her boyfriend to come over to spend the afternoon with her and he went to the gym in that time. I can’t believe so many think that’s ok.

Not you @MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

There’s not enough info from the OP to know if it’s ok or not tbf.

@Benjispruce5

Not you *@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry*

Who said it? I can’t find that post.

What were you doing when he got to yours? Did you have anything planned for the afternoon?

Maybe he turned up and after an hour of doing nothing decided he might as well be in the gym? Or were you pottering around as if he wasn’t there?

Hard to know if YABU/YANBU without knowing the dynamics of your relationship.

Leave him off.

Spending time with you is not a priority.

There’s not enough info from the OP to know if it’s ok or not tbf
@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry, yes there is! He went back on plans they agreed together.

@Teeturtle and @RussianSpy101, yes he can go to the gym whenever he likes but as OP said they had planned to spend the whole afternoon together as that was the only time they could this weekend. They both had other plans so were both working around each other. He went back on those mutually agreed plans, which is poor IMO. Don't forget he also backed out of seeing her the evening before when his plans changed.

They don't live together so it's like a date. How would you like it if someone you're dating buggered off half way through your planned "date"?!

The OP arranged for her boyfriend to come over to spend the afternoon with her and he went to the gym in that time. I can’t believe so many think that’s ok

Nor can I @Benjispruce5 This seems to be such a clear case of flakey behaviour I'm struggling to see why so many people think it's fine. Maybe that's the sort of thing they do to their friends/family/partners, but if I make plans with someone I don't change them last minute unless I absolutely have to. It's bad manners.

OP, can you start making your own plans even when you are supposed to be spending time with him?

See if he likes that?

@JamieNorthlife

OP, can you start making your own plans even when you are supposed to be spending time with him?

See if he likes that?

Yes, because that's a mature response. When people start doing that relationships not really going anywhere is it?

Blah Blah Blah....

well, if he is doing whatever he fancies. Why cant she do the same?

She is? Activities with dc, seeing friends.

@chloemori come back and tell us what happened?!

You don't fucking own him, OP, he's entitled do his own thing if he wants.

I'm having trouble understanding what he did wrong. You had nothing planned to do with him, other than pass the time. He probably spent the morning sleeping because he got in late, so now he feels ready to go to the gym. You have plans with your friends later.
You could have gone to the gym with him. And then had a coffee or something after before seeing your friends.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry He spent 2 hours at the gym and then came back expecting me to cook him dinner! (Which I wasn't doing anyway as was eating out).

Oh that is being a cf!
But some people do just like hanging out in a relaxed homely way, others want to go out doing things

there's some typical arsehole comments on here once again and unnecessary rudeness to the OP.

They had made plans to see each other, he knew her other plans yet he decided to go off to the gym in the few hours that they had together. Yes, I be pretty pissed off about that too, it's not controlling, OP isn't hard work to want to spend some time with her DP.

Sadly OP it seems some posters are correct that he just doesn't seem to want to spend time with you. Might be time for a talk?

[quote chloemori]@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry He spent 2 hours at the gym and then came back expecting me to cook him dinner! (Which I wasn't doing anyway as was eating out). [/quote]
I hope you sent him packing home!!!

I would have told him not to come back when he went to the gym. It sounds liek he's using you.

He came back expecting to be fed?

OP, we teach people how to treat us.

Someone with self respect wouldn't tolerate this.

I would take it that he is suiting himself and do likewise and be unavailable.