Page 3 | To think I’m not really invited to the work Xmas do?

Jinnybean · 2021-11-13T14:58:43+00:00

I’m a support worker, Iv been working at my work for 2 years now. At first I was volunteering and then they begged me to join so I did but as bank staff, as my husband works shifts and with young kids I can’t commit to nights every week day. I do work a lot though and do probably 2/3/4 shifts a week between supported houses and the base. Work asked me to cover Friday 17th December but I couldn’t as my Dh is on nights. I found out on Thursday that there is a Christmas party meal thing on the 17th. I only known if it because it was in the staff room and other staff who have been there a few months were talking about it. I messaged my manager asking if it’s for all staff or just contracted (which btw I think it’s rubbish that I don’t get bonuses etc even though Iv covered loads over covid). My manager replied that her priority is covering the houses and she already asked me to do it but I couldn’t as my husband was at work. And it’s for all staff. So I replied that yes he’s on nights but my MIL or daughter could babysit for me. So she replied “ok you’re welcome to come” I’m not going. I really wanted to but I really feel like I’m not welcome. I’m guessing they were hoping I could cover so the contracted staff could go and enjoy themselves.

Lightisnotwhite · 14/11/2021 08:08

@vajingleberry

If the poster doesn’t give us the full details in the opening post then how how people supposed to know?
It’s stupid getting all indignant and huffy just because you’ve read the drip feed afterwards whilst others posted too soon.

I wouldn’t go if a permanent member of staff couldn’t attend because there wasn’t bank staff available. Do you know who is covering the shift Op.

AdelindSchade · 14/11/2021 08:08

It is always going to be difficult where 24 hr cover is required but this has been poorly handled byy the manager who has left you feelkng shit. But I don't think you should take it as personal to you. I can understand why you wouldn't want to go though.

tallduckandhandsome · 14/11/2021 08:10

[quote Lightisnotwhite]**@vajingleberry

If the poster doesn’t give us the full details in the opening post then how how people supposed to know?
It’s stupid getting all indignant and huffy just because you’ve read the drip feed afterwards whilst others posted too soon.

I wouldn’t go if a permanent member of staff couldn’t attend because there wasn’t bank staff available. Do you know who is covering the shift Op.[/quote]
The etiquette is to read ALL of OP’s posts before commenting.That’s partly why there is a ‘see all’ options for the OP’s posts.

EdgeOfTheSky · 14/11/2021 08:15

The point is that the shift in the 17th was offered because the contract staff would be partying.

I think that’s OK, but it would have been better for the manager to say to all bank staff ‘is anyone available to do a shift to cover the party?’.

We know that lots of people would rather not do the work outing, loads of threads about it!

I don’t think it’s personal, OP.

reesewithoutaspoon · 14/11/2021 08:18

I have never received an invite to a works do. We work shifts and the event is just put up on the noticeboard and whoever can come comes. There's no such thing as a personal invite in 24hr nursing. People might ask "are you going" but that's about it.
Also we would try and get as many bank staff as possible on that night to allow full time staff to attend if they wanted.
Its the nature of the job, someone has to be working to cover the shifts.

Pyewackect · 14/11/2021 08:18

You were invited, you sound hard work !.

vajingleberry · 14/11/2021 08:20

[quote Lightisnotwhite]**@vajingleberry

If the poster doesn’t give us the full details in the opening post then how how people supposed to know?
It’s stupid getting all indignant and huffy just because you’ve read the drip feed afterwards whilst others posted too soon.

I wouldn’t go if a permanent member of staff couldn’t attend because there wasn’t bank staff available. Do you know who is covering the shift Op.[/quote]
I managed to get the full details from the opening post where it is clear that the OP is talking about a night shift.

However, I also had the courtesy to read the OPs updates before posting.

Nothing to do with getting huffy - it's just obvious that many of the replies haven't quite grasped the notion of child care for a party vs child care for a night shift.

icelollycraving · 14/11/2021 08:20

I am in the camp of yabu.
I am also thinking it’s cheeky to ask about the night out after saying you were unavailable. It’s your choice to be bank staff. You, presumably don’t get the same rights.

Benjispruce5 · 14/11/2021 08:24

I would feel cheeky going out on a do when I said I couldn’t work due to lack of childcare.

Rachie1973 · 14/11/2021 08:25

Because we’re in care we have to be staffed 24/7. Bank and agency cover our Xmas do.

Sunshinealligator · 14/11/2021 08:25

If you're bank staff, I don't think that you can realistically expect to be invited to these things. You're there to cover when there are no other staff...its understandable that all the staff members would want to go to their works do.

I understand it feels a bit like you're half in the door and half out, a bit second class even, but its just the way it works.
DH and I have both worked as agency staff- but on long term contracts for the same employers, with the same teams for 9+ months. Never, ever have we been invited to the works parties, despite being in the thick of it with everyone else and as far as we've been aware, and treated to that point as the same as the actual employed staff. It does sting, but something we are now very aware of and sort of brace ourselves for. I've been told repeatedly about the Christmas parties, but I sort of keep a distance from the conversation, because when my invite doesn't arrive, it'll sting a little bit.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 14/11/2021 08:26

When I used to work in hospitality, we would announce the date of the staff Xmas do and clearly explain that the venue couldn't close so unfortunately some people would still have to work. They had the option of volunteering or names out of a hat.

I know this is obviously different but it's just weird that they haven't done something similar at your place.
Most people understand that shifts still need covering so not everyone can go. Gives people the option of volunteering and knowing the facts or stating a case why they can't (eg like the OP here)

TangerineDreams · 14/11/2021 08:30

@CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal

I think turning down a shift for the reason of no childcare and then asking to go on the Christmas night out on the same night is cheeky. If you were a colleague of mine I would judge you for it.

HUGE difference between getting a sitter til 11pm or 12am or having full overnight care til at the very earliest, 6am

Chloemol · 14/11/2021 08:46

@Teeturtle

I would not have had the nerve to turn down a shift because my husband is working and then ask to go to the Christmas do on the same night. 😅

Why? It’s a bit different trying to get a baby sitter for a few hours to go to a work do, that find one for a whole shift of hours because the husband is also working

Personally I would be looking for a job elsewhere

MrsLargeEmbodied · 14/11/2021 08:48

but the op has worked there 2 years,
and very regular shifts,
surely she is entitled to an invite?

Lightisnotwhite · 14/11/2021 08:50

@vajingleberry “ glad you’re not my boss” isn’t getting huffy? Clearly people hadn’t read the Ops update when they were writing their posts.

Also, whilst their is a difference between a couple of hours and a full night shift, there’s no choice if you are doing the shift. You either do the whole shift or not. So if the Op said she was unavailable it is a bit cheeky to turn up for the good bits. Maybe she could have covered the first bit of the evening so permanent staff could go.
Anyway the managers job is to find someone to cover the Christmas party not invite more people ( which she kindly did anyway.)

MsHedgehog · 14/11/2021 08:54

I completely a night shift and an evening out are different things, but if a colleague of mine couldn’t come because there was no cover, and a bank staff was out with us instead, I would judge that bank staff.

Meruem · 14/11/2021 08:54

When I was a temp I had to cover an office while they had an away day. Area manager told me I couldn’t go as he hadn’t ordered lunch for me.
Turns out “lunch” was a dry sandwich and a piece of fruit, and the activities that day were as dry as that sandwich! Everyone came back the next day telling me what a lucky escape I had!

I’d been working in that office for a year when that away day was organised, so yes I did have that “left out” feeling. So I can relate to that. But I also agree with others in that I wouldn’t turn down a shift then ask to go to the party. I know what you said about the different hours but it’s also true that others won’t see it that way.

MiniPumpkin · 14/11/2021 09:07

Manager should have announced when the night out is and asked for volunteers to cover. We do Xmas lunches and my manager does this, someone always offers to cover the office. Yes it’s send they just asked you which is unfair if you didn’t know the night out.. but I wouldn’t have messaged asking..

IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative · 14/11/2021 09:10

You can go on mine instead if you want. I have no interest in going but it’s a new job and it’ll look bad if I don’t.

I hate enforced socialising.

tallduckandhandsome · 14/11/2021 09:18

@Meruem

When I was a temp I had to cover an office while they had an away day. Area manager told me I couldn’t go as he hadn’t ordered lunch for me. Turns out “lunch” was a dry sandwich and a piece of fruit, and the activities that day were as dry as that sandwich! Everyone came back the next day telling me what a lucky escape I had!

I’d been working in that office for a year when that away day was organised, so yes I did have that “left out” feeling. So I can relate to that. But I also agree with others in that I wouldn’t turn down a shift then ask to go to the party. I know what you said about the different hours but it’s also true that others won’t see it that way.

It doesn’t matter how people see it. OP didn’t turn down a shift, she didn’t have childcare for the shift. She can get child care for the party though.

The two are completely unrelated.

vajingleberry · 14/11/2021 09:27

@vajingleberry “ glad you’re not my boss” isn’t getting huffy? Clearly people hadn’t read the Ops update when they were writing their posts

@Lightisnotwhite

It's not being "huffy" to be glad that I'm not getting judged by someone who hasn't bothered to make themselves aware of all the information that is currently available on the thread/understood that an overnight shift that goes on until 10am is a very different situation to a party that happens in the evening and means that you will be home to be with your children during the night.

MalcolmTuckersBollockingface · 14/11/2021 09:40

Bank staff tend to fill in the gap of planned and unplanned staff absences. I have never worked anywhere where bank staff were not considered part of the staff team. Obviously, if a causal member of staff didn’t want to attend the Xmas do then it would be a no brainer to ask then if they wanted to cover the shift.

At most places I have worked with this set up, we have booked agency staff to cover, allowing all staff the opportunity to attend if they wish.

Newmumatlast · 14/11/2021 09:49

@Teeturtle

I would not have had the nerve to turn down a shift because my husband is working and then ask to go to the Christmas do on the same night. 😅

Same! And then not go so they know I could be free and look like I'm being difficult to make a point. Better to have said nothing

Newmumatlast · 14/11/2021 09:50

@MiniPumpkin

Manager should have announced when the night out is and asked for volunteers to cover. We do Xmas lunches and my manager does this, someone always offers to cover the office. Yes it’s send they just asked you which is unfair if you didn’t know the night out.. but I wouldn’t have messaged asking..

This is fair