To not be with my friend after a miscarriage

[Sunshinelollypops8]

So I can't work out if I'm being too sensitive.
I had a miscarriage this week. My friend knows this and she has asked me to be with her next week whilst she has an abortion. Iv said I can't but I feel really bad for not being there and I know she's annoyed at me.
Am I being unreasonable?
I am by no means against abortions and I told her before my miscarriage I would support her whatever her decision but I just don't know if I can.
Thanks in advance

@Toddlerteaplease

No way. That's an awful thing to ask. Although I wouldn't be able to support anyone I knew who was having an abortion.

Abortion is a very personal thing and there is lots of reasons why people choose to and sometimes have to have any abortion.Personally I couldn’t have one either but there is circumstances and reasons that I could justify one. I wouldn’t really want someone like you as a friend either if that’s how judgemental you are without even knowing the circumstances.

However for op it is very insensitive for her friend to still ask her to go with her considering her circumstances of just having a miscarriage. So sorry for your loss op x

I can’t believe your friend asked you to go to hold her hand whilst she has an abortion, when you’ve just had a miscarriage!! Selfish cow

New here so getting to know how it works.

Sorry I thought I was introducing myself. Read the post and I don’t think you are being over sensitive, but your friend is. . I am truly sorry for your loss and hope you are looking after yourself.

if I'm allowed to be pro choice. Then I choose to disagree with abortion

Also, @Toddlerteaplease this is bollocks. You’re not pro choice. If you disagree with abortion you are pro life, which makes you anti choice.

She's being unreasonable even asking you to attend with her. Very insensitive of her.

I just can’t believe your friend has asked you!

I’m so sorry, I too miscarried a year ago

YANBU!

So I need a vent.
My friend is being so insensitive.
She wasn't sure if she was loosing the baby and said it would be better than having to go through with an abortion and I said I agree it would be better than having to make such a. Tough decision but just make sure you've actually lost it because if you haven't and you leave it to late I would hate for the decision to be taken out of her hands.

She then said i know this and I wish it was a miscarriage and I know you don't agree.

I said I have never said I don't agree I'm completely pro choice you are being insensitive towards me. I lost my baby last week and I know to her it's just cells. And I couldn't support her through it because it was raw to me still.

And she said it's my opinion and she's sorry I lost the baby she knows how it feels. And she understood.
And then she said she hasn't the energy for this and she doesn't want to talk to me for a while.

I feel she's tried to turn it on me or am I just being really sensitive at the moment?

Please tell me if I am just being overly sensitive because I will try to rectify my reaction

You both need to stay well clear of eachother, if not forever, then at least for now. You are both going through a tough time, and you are damaging eachother rather than helping or supporting eachother. Just keep space between you.

@Derbee I really tried to be supportive but it was hard when she was being so insensitive and trying to put the blame on me 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Sunshinelollypops8 It sounds like you’ve tried. I didn’t mean to sound like I was saying you’re unsupportive. I think you need to look after yourself at the moment, and your friend should never have asked you to accompany her. She certainly shouldn’t still be arguing about things with you. You need to recover from your trauma

@Derbee oh it didn't sound like that I was just saying that I had tried. I don't really have any other friends apart from her that I can talk to so MN is my go to place to chat and support hence why I may over share on here or keep going on about things 😅

I am not against abortions at all, but there’s no way I’d have been able to go with a friend to have one a week after my miscarriage, I was still crying nonstop a week after mine. Definitely YANBU and she shouldn’t have asked that if you given your situation.
I am very sorry for your loss.

YANBU at all! I’m really sorry for what you’re going through - but at the moment you need to do what makes you feel better, and going with her obviously won’t. She should understand that