Year long placement- how to make it work?

[jazzupyourchuff]

Hi all,
I'm starting a course next summer. It involves a year long placement, which could be up to 30 miles away.
Any further and I'd have to relocate. It probably won't be in my town due to my NHS trust working with a different university.
DP's job is in retail so very early starts and late finishes. He has one day off in the week which he does drop off and pick up for. There could be an opportunity for him to switch and work both weekend days and then do two days of pick ups and drop offs. He has said that means he won't have a full with the DC's and me which I understand but it's only for a year.
I have two children at primary school and I'm considering my options. One is that we move to nearer the placement and find a flat, change their school for a year etc. I would still need to find breakfast club, afterschool club etc. We wouldn't be able to rent out our home as DP would still need to live here.
I could find an au-pair to live in the spare room and help with school pick ups and drop offs. Concerns are that the spare room is small and DP isn't keen on someone being in the house all the time.
Nanny? Downside is I'm being paid less due to this course being fully funded (I get a sort of bursary.)
Breakfast and afterschool club every day. I worry that I won't be back by 6 and might spend all my life worrying about traffic if I'm travelling far to placement.
Or, last resort, ask mother in law to pack in job that she hates and pay her to do this. She has suggested this many times. My concerns are that she doesn't drive so would have to be picked up early in the morning, driven to ours and driven back in the evening. Also I think she would be too anxious to take them to the park after school or have play dates and so DC's would miss out, although they love her.
Suggestions please, especially if you have experience of making anything similar work.
DP is not being absolved of all responsibility but with me quitting my job and taking on this for a reduced wage (even though it will pay off long term) he can't burn too many bridges at work, especially as they are making job cuts. Sorry to be that poster who makes excuses!

Sorry, just to clarify, you have a job placement that will mean you are working away from home for a year? Will you have weekend off?

Your husband works shifts in retail.

Your children go to wraparound care.

You want to know how to manage the children while you are away?

I think a nanny is the only option unless your husband can change his shifts and work less hours to do drop off/pick up in the week, then you are home at the weekend to care for them while he works.

I wouldn't change the children's school for a year unless they are very young. There is no guarantee you would get back into the current school when the year is over, so they might end up changing again.

@OwlinaTree yes, no weekends. I won't have to move unless I can't commute every day due to distance.

I would go with the wraparound at the current school and DH alters shifts to do the drop-off/collection.

I cant see how a nanny nor your MiL could work out as more expensive than renting a flat.
Personally I'd go for the MiL option and do plenty of visits to parks etc as a family at the weekend.

30 miles isn't that much. Where I stay that is a common work commute into the city, takes about 40 mins or so. I'd look for a childminder

@Porcupineintherough you're right! I think it was just that I would be able to spend more time with them if I finished early. There will be a home working element to this so could only be expected to be on placement two days a week but it could be five days.

Could the university help by finding out your placement sooner so that you can have facts to base a decision on? I’m a student nurse and many placements are actually very accommodating for childcare issues eg some people work core 8 hour shifts rather than 12.5 or they can do split shifts etc.
There is too much unknown currently- can you speak to MIL and ask about parties etc? Other parents might also help out there…could MIL stay over sometimes? I’m assuming you’re not working 24/7 so will have days off when you’re around?
I would not move- too much disruption and you’d be away from parent support from the kids school etc and the kids would be unsettled and have to make new friends etc.

I definitely don't think you should get a flat or move the kids for the sake of a 30 mile journey. People do this every day for their whole careers.
Picking your mil up early sounds like a huge pain in the arse too.
Maybe if you get a 2 day a week placement you can work around that more easily

Commute, occasional air bnb, pay mil.

Have I misunderstood that the distance is just 30 miles? I live rurally and my children actually travel that far to school each day. Both my husband and I have, in the past, travelled MUCH further for work each day.

“Up to 30 miles.” Move house? Move schools? I don’t understand why a commute of maybe an hour would lead to such drastic changes??

Sorry, another one struggling to understand the issue. What sort of hours will the placement be - regular, shifts, night work?

If regular hours, as long as you've got wrap around care sorted, it'll be fine.

I think it's that I've never had such a long commute as I live in a city! The thought of getting out of central Bristol to somewhere like Taunton or devices every day is quite a lot to get my head around!

Yes, it doesn't seem that far, especially if you aren't missing out the fact that it's across London, for example.
A before and after school nanny could be cheaper than a childminder for two DCs.

I live in a city and commuted 50 miles to another city every day. Perfectly do-able, especially if you have a qualification/promotion to look forward to at the end of it.

You need to start thinking in time, not miles.

If you normally commute across the city, you might find driving to X town 30 miles away just as time-consuming. If you'll be using the motorway you'll go faster than trying to cross a city during peak hour.

Unless you won't be driving there but relying on rural buses and such, which then changes the scenario, I agree.

It would be far less disruptive for you to commute for a year than putting the kids into a new school. I think that idea is crazy.

@jazzupyourchuff so you’re in Bristol area then?
I have travelled that area for for past 20 years; easily doing 70 mile or more round trips daily. My DD did/ now does a 70 mile round trip to school/college.
I would say you can manage this for a year. You’ll get used to it and there area so many back routes or alternatives, if there are traffic incidents etc. Also, public transport is decent.
Don’t move schools or property; so disruptive and expense.

I lived 27 miles from my school, my DS does a 70 mile round trip for college, most people I know spend two hours a day commuting.
Figure out the reality of the commute, I think moving and changing schools for a possible thirty mile commute, possibly only a few days a week, for only a year is madness.

Have you actually test driven the commute a few times? At the time of day when you would be doing it?
That way you are considering facts rather than the fear of the unknown..
Once you are in the habit of doing something it is much less scary and intimidating, so will probably not be as bad as you think.
And it is only for a working year.... now even 365 days!! Really not worth disrupting the kids entire lives for.

NOT even 365 days!!

I don't understand what the issue is with a commute being 30 miles. Where I live many children travel that far for school.
This comes up often on Mumsnet, where anything more than 10 miles is treated like the other side of the world.

@jazzupyourchuff I lived approx 30 miles from school.
It's not too far, and I was travelling into a big city (so part of the rush morning and evenings).

If it's similar times to your work rota, I think it's doable without making too many changes with anything else.

What about childminder who can do pick up and drop offs?

@jazzupyourchuff I have many colleagues who commute the 32 miles from Bristol to our office. Most with children use a mix of childminders and/or after-school/breakfast clubs.

Sounds like a Physiotherapy course! You can request to be close to home due to dependent children do it sooner rather than later. There are community ootiins if hospital based placement doesnt wirk for you no matter what orofession you are in.