Year long placement- how to make it work?

[jazzupyourchuff]

Hi all,
I'm starting a course next summer. It involves a year long placement, which could be up to 30 miles away.
Any further and I'd have to relocate. It probably won't be in my town due to my NHS trust working with a different university.
DP's job is in retail so very early starts and late finishes. He has one day off in the week which he does drop off and pick up for. There could be an opportunity for him to switch and work both weekend days and then do two days of pick ups and drop offs. He has said that means he won't have a full with the DC's and me which I understand but it's only for a year.
I have two children at primary school and I'm considering my options. One is that we move to nearer the placement and find a flat, change their school for a year etc. I would still need to find breakfast club, afterschool club etc. We wouldn't be able to rent out our home as DP would still need to live here.
I could find an au-pair to live in the spare room and help with school pick ups and drop offs. Concerns are that the spare room is small and DP isn't keen on someone being in the house all the time.
Nanny? Downside is I'm being paid less due to this course being fully funded (I get a sort of bursary.)
Breakfast and afterschool club every day. I worry that I won't be back by 6 and might spend all my life worrying about traffic if I'm travelling far to placement.
Or, last resort, ask mother in law to pack in job that she hates and pay her to do this. She has suggested this many times. My concerns are that she doesn't drive so would have to be picked up early in the morning, driven to ours and driven back in the evening. Also I think she would be too anxious to take them to the park after school or have play dates and so DC's would miss out, although they love her.
Suggestions please, especially if you have experience of making anything similar work.
DP is not being absolved of all responsibility but with me quitting my job and taking on this for a reduced wage (even though it will pay off long term) he can't burn too many bridges at work, especially as they are making job cuts. Sorry to be that poster who makes excuses!

I do a Bristol to Weston commute round trip 3-4 times a week, it’s about 30/35 miles each way. I didn’t consider moving house!!

I wouldn’t change schools for a year, go with mil option, view it as being only a year.
I travel 30 miles to work every day, so 60 miles a day, I’m ft and we manage. Your placement should be flexible regarding childcare needs and travel. If not in my experience the university will have something to say about that

Bristol to Taunton is about 50 miles, to Devizes is about 40, both should be under an hour.

I think the advice to use your need to arrange childcare to get early notification, so you can plan it, is good.

You are in a university city - is there any way of finding a reliable student who could do the school run?

As you say MIL is not up to dealing with play dates or visits to the park, then she really isn't going to be suitable.

Will you use playschemes during the school holidays?

The best answer here is au pair, and if your DH's disinclination is the only bar to this, then what us his preferred solution? Let me guess - he doesn't have one and despite being just as much a parent as you doesn't see this as his problem to solve? But will add to the problem by seeking to rule out the best solution.

I’d find out the process for applying for a placement close to home based on childcare needs and follow it
Then once you know your placement do a few test drives to work out how long it takes. I agree that 30miles is doable from where you live. I’d look at joining AA if you are not a member and making sure your car is reliable.

You commute and pay MIL or nanny, but before you do check that you can afford the time and expense this placement would take.

To be fair, a long ish commute into and out of Bristol can be very different to the same distance in another location. Traffic in and around the city can be horrific and missing pick up times etc is a very valid concern. I have friends working in NHS roles who has commutes to Bath, Taunton etc and it’s do-able but challenging. Those poo pooing a 30 mile commute may not realise how long that distance could feasibly take round here. I agree that loving house is a drastic solution for just one year though.

I would be considering if doing this placement is feasible considering childcare responsibilities and the other parent working shifts.

I would go with the MIL option and pay for a taxi for at least one of her journeys. If she is happy to do indoor activities your DC won’t miss the park much. Try and arrange play dates for when one of you is available or maybe friends could help occasionally. Your children will manage without them temporarily.

I don't think you need to move.

You need to contact the people runniNG the course and tell them you have dependents. I did a teaching degree and those who had children were able to request placements closer to home. I used to be so jealous as my commute was sometimes two hours.

I don't think your husband needs to change his off days. If he had to work both weekend days instead of one then you wouldn't have any time together as a family at the weekend. Make sure he is putting that day off in the week to good use though!

I think you will be able to make better decisions once you know where your placement is though. Get onto that asap and then consider childminder / nanny / mil

Sounds like the course I'm doing.

I'm doing the SCPHN course, people travel from London to Brighton to do the course, although I'm not sure about their family status.

Will there be a consolidation towards the end?

For us, that's the toughest part for our course because it's 5 days a week for 3 months.

If MIL would be paid for doing this then she needs to treat it reasonably like a job- so early morning bus/taxi to your house not expecting to be collected and dropped home and doesn’t get to opt out of aspects she doesn’t like such as play dates and parties. If she has a medical reason why she cannot do these things then maybe she isn’t suited to the job and you should take a closer look at the other options. Or would it be possible for her to drop 1 day at her current job and do 1 day paid for you, so that she gets extra time with her grandchildren and your children get a break from the after school club routine?

Childminder. Drop off at 7am (or 7.45am if you've got a 9am start), pick up between 5.45 and 6.30pm, only change is that sometimes you need to pay a bit extra for the odd half hour (amount pre-agreed with CM).

It's what people do when afterschool and breakfast clubs don't quite cover actual working hours. Holidays are more expensive, but it's still quite normal - and at least if you have a course to do, the odds are that you'll be off at the same time for all but half terms.

It might not sound fantastic when you first look at it, but a 90min commute each way is regarded as normal for any woman looking for work in the eyes of Universal Credit, especially when you take into account that they would also expect her to do this for a minimum wage job. And if somebody in that situation is expected to take a job in those circumstances, I think that somebody in your circumstances isn't really doing anything shockingly awful - especially as it'll give you improved career prospects at the end.