I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible.
Ex and I split 2.5 years ago when DS was 5 weeks old (I ended it) and he put me through hell for the first few months afterwards - constantly texting me saying I was an unfit mother, name calling, telling me I was mentally unstable, lying to his family about me which resulted in his mum calling my GP to tell them she thought I had PND (amongst other things) - until I blocked him from everything and went no contact.
After a few months of NC he contacted me by email and we sorted things out and became friends again. DS has suspected ASD so we have attended appointments together...taken the kids on days out... etc, so have been in each other’s company often.
A few months ago I started to receive messages from a random Facebook account. At first, I didn’t reply but the person was very persistent, sending me messages A LOT and the style of writing was very similar to my EX so I became suspicious and replied to try and catch them out. This went on for weeks, and I literally felt like I was going off my head. I reverse image searched one of the profile pictures and found the real persons Instagram account so I then knew the Facebook account that had been messaging me was fake but still had no proof it was my ex. I contacted my ex and explained I knew he was behind the fake profile and that I had found the real persona social media but he ignored the message. So I contacted the guy who’s content was being taken to let him know so he could have the fake account removed. He asked me if I had any idea who was behind it and I explained I thought it may be my ex as the way they wrote was very similar, they spelled certain words the same way, they overused emojis...etc. This guy contacted my ex and what followed was the worst 3 weeks emotionally that I have ever dealt with in my life.
The lies, manipulation, gaslighting, my ex tried to turn it all around and make out I was some crazy ex who was obsessed with him and it was me who was behind the fake account, he said I made it up so I could pin it on him because he’s not been arsed with me since we split. I ended up having to contact the police and when I showed them everything - all the messages from the fake account & the emails from him - the police believed me and they went and spoke to him. But even then he continued to send me threatening emails saying he had filled the police in on a few blanks and I was going to get done with wasting police time.
Honestly, I felt like I was going crazy. It was hell. So I tried everything to get into the fake Facebook account so I could get the IP logs as this was the only way I could 100% know my ex was behind the face account. My ex had a lot of email addresses so I tried them with a password he used to use for nextflix and after the 3rd or 4th attempt I got into the fake account. So I screen shotted the IP logs and contacted my ex asking him to send a screenshot of the IP like he’s from his own Facebook account to see if any of them matched. I got a few excuses at first saying he couldn’t then he sent me an email confessing everything. It was like an extract from a book.
I know this all sounds so far fetched and crazy but this was my reality for a few months.
I obviously cut contact when he admitted everything and I spoke with DS child development officer, health visitor and speech and language, I explained I was really concerned about ex’s mental health and was worried about leaving DS with him. They all agreed that I should only allow supervised contact. I contacted ex’s mum and sister and explained everything to them, they also agreed it should be supervised contact going forward.
Ex continued to contact me saying the reason he did what he did was because he was suffering from depression and became obsessed with me. I don’t believe he had depression as every time I saw him he did not show any signs of mental illness. The professionals dealing with DS said the same, any time they saw my ex he presented himself as being a completely normal, articulate, intelligent, level headed guy. That’s the scary thing, he is highly intelligent and has a very successful job yet he seems to become someone else when he’s on his own??
The reason I’m writing this is because he’s still contacting my by email, albeit I haven’t replied, saying I need to let go of the hatred I feel for him and accept that he wasn’t emotionally well and that’s why he did all this stuff. He’s completely fine now and we need to start communicating and being civil to each other for DS sake. Well, wasn’t thinking of DS when he was stealing and catfishing me from a fake profile! And the amount of effort that went into the fake profile is scary! He was stealing this random guys pictures, screen recording his videos and had even made up a second fake account to make it look like the fake account had a friend.
So am I wrong to disbelieve him that he is suffering from depression? I actually think he has some sort of personality disorder. I sincerely don’t ever want to speak to or see him again after what he put me though. Am I wrong for feeling like this or should I give him the benefit of the doubt for DS sake?