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AIBU?

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Original poster

Old photos of me and DS's dad.

33 replies

usernamenumber636274 · 12/11/2021 19:15

I have a nearly 11 year old son with an ex. We weren't together that long (a few months before I got pregnant) We split when I was heavily pregnant, briefly rekindled when Ds was a baby but didn't last long. He has seen Ds on and off but has been pretty inconsistent in his life - whole other story.

I have a huge box of photos I've been putting off sorting out for years. I found a couple photos of my and DS's dad before I was pregnant, at the pub. Would you keep for Ds to look at or get rid?

There's also photos of Ds and his dad as a baby and at his christening, obviously I'll keep them.

But the photos of us before ds?

I've been with dp for 9 years! That's how long I've not sorted these photos out.

Would you just bin? Or do you think Ds might be interested one day? He's never shown an interest so far. He can't remember any different than me, Dp, himself and Dd with on/off relationship with his dad.

Dp isn't the type to be offended by old photos. Not sure how I would feel if I found old photos of him and ex though! 😅

OP posts:
TurnUpTurnip · 12/11/2021 19:17

I think I would keep them for ds

Nowomenaroundeh · 12/11/2021 19:17

I would put them away safely.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 12/11/2021 19:17

I would definitely keep them, I think it would be meaningful for your DS

Double3xposure · 12/11/2021 19:18

Defo keep for DS

x2boys · 12/11/2021 19:19

My dh has an older daughter with his ex I wouldnt want photos up around the house of them ,but ,I don't see any harm in keeping the photos for your son ,he might be interested one day ?

PinkWaferBiscuit · 12/11/2021 19:19

Given you've sat on them for so long and your son will soon be adult I would definitely keep them and then it will be his choice on what he does with them.

Subconsciously you've probably already known this is the right thing to do and that's why you've never got rid of them.

Lovewins · 12/11/2021 19:20

Definitely keep- my mum split from my dad when I was 4 and I still treasure the few photos I have of them together- I’m 42 now!

Carpedimum · 12/11/2021 19:21

If you’ve got room, keep them, they will be precious to your DS. My DS’s father and I were not together at all from soon after I had DS, he died 3 years ago and DS absolutely treasures all the photos of his father.

scooterbear · 12/11/2021 19:22

Keep

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/11/2021 19:24

Does he have a baby book or something you can put them in? I would definitely keep them, I think it can be really grounding for children to know that you once liked and loved each other, even if you don't now.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/11/2021 19:25

Of course you should keep them. They are a glimpse into your son's history. It will be nice for him to know that there was a time when his mum and dad were happy, even if it didn't work out in the end.

MsChatterbox · 12/11/2021 19:27

My parents are divorced and I came across a picture of them together and I kept it for myself. It was very weird to see but felt nice at the same time.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 12/11/2021 19:27

Of course you need to keep them.

SantaMonicaPier · 12/11/2021 19:27

Please do keep them. Growing up I only had one photo of my father and none of my parents together. I would have treasured that.

Original poster
usernamenumber636274 · 12/11/2021 19:27

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

Does he have a baby book or something you can put them in? I would definitely keep them, I think it can be really grounding for children to know that you once liked and loved each other, even if you don't now.
He does have a baby book but it's mainly one sided from me at the time as we weren't together and at the time Ds was born and I had a lot of built up anger with his dad with what he did to me during pregnancy (emotional abuse, stalking tendencies, cheating, alcohol and drug fuelled things but I don't want to get into that). I've grown up considerably (was 19 when I had Ds) and no longer bitter obviously but reading through his baby book there's not one mention of his dad - oops!! 🤯
OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 12/11/2021 19:28

Of course keep

Original poster
usernamenumber636274 · 12/11/2021 19:29

I've also never met my father but I've never seen a photo of him and my mum or me and him (he seen me a few times I think) but then I'm not really interested either! My gran always said she had some but she's never shown me!

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 12/11/2021 19:30

Definitely keep them. He’s no other way to see that side of his genes.

littlebilliie · 12/11/2021 19:31

Definitely keep real pictures will become more important in the digital age

Original poster
usernamenumber636274 · 12/11/2021 19:38

@littlebilliie

Definitely keep real pictures will become more important in the digital age
I agree. I've always printed photos but I've had them delivered, looked at them for a bit then shoved them in said box! Need some order to it now!
OP posts:
Rainbowstripes · 12/11/2021 19:49

Please keep at least a fair few! My parents split before I was born and I'm not particularly close with my dad but the few pics I have of them together are really important to me and I'd never throw them away - when he's older he can always make that decision to get rid of them for himself but I'd leave him the choice

Whereismumhiding3 · 12/11/2021 19:55

Of course keep the photos for your DS. He can love your DP as a step dad and be very happy with his family but also later in appreciate photos of his dad and mum together even before he was born. If you don't want them, your DS maybe will. So please save them for him xxx

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 12/11/2021 20:33

Keep a few. When my DH and I moved in together he found a box in his loft which included pics of his first wedding to DSDs Mum. He was all for binning them all but I convinced him to keep a few for DSD in case she wants them when she’s older.

RosaBaby2 · 12/11/2021 20:35

100% keep them, I've kept allsorts like that for my ds of me and his dad

RosieLeeD · 12/11/2021 20:54

Keep them, I can see that an 11 year old might not be interested but might be a completely different story when he is older