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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dinner party etiquette

70 replies

Curiousforever · 12/11/2021 12:58

We had an informal board games/dinner party the other day with many guests.

We had this new couple friend who asked if they would like us to bring something- they got some crisps and soft drinks. Two of the soft drink bottles were opened at the party. We of course provided other drinks including alcohol/plenty of snacks/main course.

When it was time to leave I gave them some traditional sweets to take home, and the guests took the sweets along with the unopened bottle of fizzy drinks.

I am relatively new to the UK and our guests are from a different cultural background. Just wondering if this is slightly rude of them? Asking as this would be considered very petty in my home country/culture and would love to know if I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
wheninroma · 12/11/2021 12:59

Yes that’s odd

DingDongDenny · 12/11/2021 13:00

Yes, it is rude of them. I often give back things guests have brought. For example, I don't drink fizzy drinks so give them back, but that is my choice. The general rule is that if the guest brings it, you keep it

Mumdiva99 · 12/11/2021 13:00

Yes odd and a bit rude.

BuddhaAtSea · 12/11/2021 13:00

It would be rude/petty in my culture too. In the UK it seems to be acceptable, in fact, I offer to give back if it hasn’t been used.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 12/11/2021 13:02

If I take a bottle to someone's house I don't expect it back whether it's unopened or half full.

I have known some people over the years who do this though, so it's not unusual, just really odd and stingy.

Bluntness100 · 12/11/2021 13:02

Yes it’s very rude to take back what you brought but some folks do it.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/11/2021 13:02

The only people I've known to do this have been Australians. Not sure if it's the norm there. It just seems so tight.

ModMajGeneral · 12/11/2021 13:03

So rude!

IVflytrap · 12/11/2021 13:05

That's strange, I've never taken any food or drink, unopened or not, back with me from a dinner party. Anything I bring I leave with the hosts and as far as I know anyone else would do the same. I would think it's a bit off to take it back home with you and not at all standard behaviour in the UK.

pigsDOfly · 12/11/2021 13:11

Never come across this.

Awful behaviour. If you give someone a gift, no matter what it is, you don't take it back because they haven't yet opened it.

I think it would be considered extremely rude and petty in most cultures tbh.

wheninroma · 12/11/2021 13:12

It’s not ‘cultural’ - it’s just rude and stingy.

Brighteyedtriangle · 12/11/2021 13:14

Really weird. If it was a dinner party and ive took wine round unopened i would never take it back.
Saying that ive been to friends for drinks and took full bottles of gin or other spirits and ive been known to either leave full bottles or take home if i know ive going out again the week after

Valeriane · 12/11/2021 13:16

Really rude. Someone once did this at one if my parties; he was from a different country too so maybe its cultural

BrightYellowDaffodil · 12/11/2021 13:39

It's rude and a bit strange. The only thing I could think of is when we were much younger (maybe our 20s) and generally skint, we might have taken unopened stuff back home from a party but a) everyone did it, b) it would (obviously!) only apply to stuff we'd bought ourselves and c) we grew out of it. Doing that at a dinner party is weird and tight.

Bookworm20 · 12/11/2021 13:48

I'd find that rude, although I'd probably just laugh after they left.

I had someone do this to me when they came for dinner. group of 3 couples. They all brought wine. One bottle was half full when they left and she made a point of asking for her wine as she'll finish it tomorrow!

We'd all been sharing and she had drank other wine, so wasn't that it was a special just for her wine.

It was so odd!

Bookworm20 · 12/11/2021 13:49

Only time i'd consider it acceptable is if the HOST said, here you may as well take this back with you as we probably won't drink it.

Shoxfordian · 12/11/2021 13:57

Yeah it’s rude to just take it back

2bazookas · 12/11/2021 13:58

Yes, they were rude.
Anything brought by a guest is a gift to the host (food, drink, flowers, chocs ) and there's no implication the host should serve it to others.

Chloemol · 12/11/2021 14:01

Yes rude

DentalWorries · 12/11/2021 14:01

I once had this with a date I invited over for dinner. He bought two bottles of wine with him and as we only drank one, he asked to take the other home with him. There were no more dates after that

ItsSnotFair · 12/11/2021 14:02

Whatever you take, you leave for your hosts
Your guests were extremely rude

CouldThisReallyBe · 12/11/2021 14:10

This is rude and stingy. And equally - I think hosts giving unopened gifts (of food or drink) back to to their guests to take home is equally rude. A gift is a gift.

LittleGwyneth · 12/11/2021 14:13

I think it's weird you gave them sweets to take home - why did you give them a going home present?! But yes, very weird of them.

babybunny123 · 12/11/2021 14:14

I know someone who would take everything uneaten and not drank from a dinner party/buffet etc she once brought some uneaten Corn Chips into work for us from a buffet she had been too, it was a bag of broken Corn Chips but mainly dust !!!

Bigfathairyones · 12/11/2021 14:15

We have friends that do this. They are generally on the 'tighter' end of the scale but they're lovely and so DH and I just smile at each other when they leave with bottles in hand.