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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ridiculous Road Rage Incident

86 replies

ALittleBitWorrriedNow · 10/11/2021 19:27

I just want to vent really 😒

I’ve just been road-raged by a young man and his partner who then went on to call me a “f*#%ing spastic”. I mean, who the hell uses language like that these days?!

It was totally my right of way as I was turning right into my road (side road) from the main road but he obviously thought it was ok to pull out first which would have meant I’d have to then wait for another gap in the traffic and hold up everyone behind me.

He was totally in the wrong yet behaved so angrily - flippin bully 😤

OP posts:
blairresignationjam · 10/11/2021 22:07

@PintOfCoffeePlease

Same today. I was merging left into a gap in slow moving traffic, everyone was politely going one by one as you do. I indicated and started to move left and this ridiculous woman in a giant car behind put her foot down to shoot past me and stop me merging - only there wasn’t room so she ended up partially on the pavement almost hitting a lamppost. She then swerved violently back toward me and almost hit me, and gave me the most aggressive middle finger I’ve ever seen (actual teeth bared, never seen anything like it). I just moved back and let her past but it’s been pissing me off since it happened. Thanks for the rant OP - no YANBU and neither was I!
But she had right of way. You have to indicate and wait. You can't just drive into the side of her.
eveningbubble · 10/11/2021 22:07

Very entitled driving tbh No just another fucking ejiit who doesn't know the rules of the road. Don't be pissed off, a good driver is ready for all eventualities and keeps their cool no matter what. A bad driver beeps and curses and tailgates letting their emotional state supersede their control of the car.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 10/11/2021 22:10

For example, how am I supposed to let an arctic know their trailer has cleared me and it’s safe to pull back over if I can’t flash him?

You don't - it's their call to judge. I never presume that the person flashing has sufficiently good judgement for me to trust them when making that call myself (towing / HGV / tractor). I know it's commonly done, but that doesn't make it right, and it doesn't make it sensible either. If people follow the HWC, people know where they stand and can make their own judgements, erring on the side of caution. When people start making up their own rules, accidents are inevitable.

MostTacticalNameChange · 10/11/2021 22:11

I absolutely hate it when vehicles give me way. Either as a driver or as a pedestrian. You feel the imperative to take up their offer and be grateful asap but they do not know all the variables. So you feel forced to rush into manoeuvres when it might not be safe lest you piss off the person trying to be kind.

I rarely let people in/cross, not because I'm an arsehole, but because if they went for it and were flattened by a vehicle I hadn't seen coming the other way, I couldn't live with it.

Once had someone call me a cockhead (vintage insult!) because he stopped to wave me across but I didn't go because cars were coming at 50 on the other side.

Dontgetyerknicksinatwist · 10/11/2021 22:12

People have no consideration for others these days (and yes I know that makes me sound old).

ivykaty44 · 10/11/2021 22:14

blow kisses

it never fails

you leave the scene and it doesn't bother you for hours afterwards, its wonderful

Xiaoxiong · 10/11/2021 22:16

@Sausagedogsarethebest and others commenting on the return of the S-word - I have noticed that as there has been a bit of a resurgence of interest in early 90s stuff, TV, music, clothes etc some teens are using language like this thinking that it's "old school slang" of some kind when in fact it's just offensive now. I pulled one up earlier for saying (in an affectionate way to a friend) "you spaz" who had no idea what it meant, turns out he'd picked it up watching Friends - which I have never seen myself though I'm the right age.

I remember doing the same as a teen when I saw Bill & Ted and started saying that everything was "bogus". Luckily that wasn't offensive but it very well could have been, I wasn't a very worldly teen!

SpiderinaWingMirror · 10/11/2021 22:19

Yep. Learned to drive on Grand Theft Auto is what I reckon!

Foolsrule · 10/11/2021 22:20

People are horrid when they drive. Had similar yesterday, my right of way turning right onto a main road, a driver turning left from a drive opposite decided he was going to pull out at the same time. I was on the road, he wasn’t. Absolutely my right of way. I beeped my horn as at one point, I thought he was going to go into the side of me. He then proceeded to slam on his brakes, hold up a lane of traffic on the main road and scream and gesticulate at me. All because he’d done something wrong… He was driving a van for a company. I’m going to take great delight in giving them a call tomorrow.

Xiaoxiong · 10/11/2021 22:22

Er...not sure why my post has been hidden! Was just trying to say that I pulled a kid up on this kind of language recently and turns out he learned it from Friends, and had no idea that it was ableist and insulting.

Anyway sorry you had a road rage incident OP, hope you aren't too shaken up. People can turn into absolute maniacs when they are behind the wheel.

ivykaty44 · 10/11/2021 22:25

What made you sure it was your right of way?

its priority

a driver may have priority, Right of way is "the legal right, established by usage or grant, to pass along a specific route through grounds or property belonging to another"

ut many people use the term right of way instead of priority

Dancingonmoonlight · 10/11/2021 22:32

YANBU. I was waiting to turn right yesterday on a busy road and waiting for the feeder light. As soon as it turned green, the large SUV behind me OVERTOOK me and turned right. If I hadn't braked, they'd have gone straight into my side and I'd have been the one who was injured.

TheLikesofMe · 10/11/2021 22:33

@PintOfCoffeePlease

Putting your indicator on is just that: an indication of what you would like to do. You can't just turn your indicator on and try to push in.

MissConductUS · 10/11/2021 22:36

Get a dashcam. We've had them in both cars for years for exactly this reason. Garmin makes some nice ones.

KrispyKremeDream · 10/11/2021 22:36

You don't - it's their call to judge. I never presume that the person flashing has sufficiently good judgement for me to trust them when making that call myself (towing / HGV / tractor). I know it's commonly done, but that doesn't make it right, and it doesn't make it sensible either. If people follow the HWC, people know where they stand and can make their own judgements, erring on the side of caution. When people start making up their own rules, accidents are inevitable.

Exactly how much judgement does it take to determine that a lorry is now ahead of you rather than alongside? If you can't determine that then you shouldn't be driving.

Flashing in other trucks is accepted and standard practice and isn't going to change anytime soon. There is much more risk in not doing so as it becomes more likely they won't wait for the signal and will pull over and clip your bonnet, which could easily spin you out at 60mph and cause a pile up.

However, this doesn't usually happen because they usually give it a couple of seconds to see if you flash them, which 99% of trucks do. If it stops being standard practice than a lot more trucks will take a chance rather than wait for the signal.

SpookyScarySkeletons · 10/11/2021 22:36

Happens all the time. I was once on a single track road with passing places, pulled into the passing place and the other driver blocked me in and told me I was a fucking fat c**t because I hadn't reversed up to the previous passing place even though there was plenty of room.

RubyTuesday70 · 10/11/2021 22:44

I ordered a dashcam after being blasted at and fists waving etc...... from a pair of pensioners!! I went round a busy roundabout following the lanes........ they were in the left hand lane and went all the way around the outside, then left at the 3rd exit. I kept hearing the beeping, then realised it was at me. I was so confused that I didn't really have time to respond, but ended up following them and the old lady was gesturing to me the whole time until I turned off.

If I'd have had a dashcam I would have reported him..... he really shouldn't be on the road if he can't negotiate driving in the huge painted lanes around a fecking roundabout.

oakleaffy · 10/11/2021 22:51

“Spastic”?
That just reflects badly on them, OP.
It is a really out of date ignorant thing to say, especially as many people with Cerebral Palsy have high intelligence.
Take no notice of the idiots.

eveningbubble · 10/11/2021 22:52

@KrispyKremeDream

Talk to yourself, you just told another poster Exactly how much judgement does it take to determine that a lorry is now ahead of you rather than alongside? If you can't determine that then you shouldn't be driving.

But upthread you just said Driving to the letter of the Highway Code doesn’t really work either. For example, how am I supposed to let an arctic know their trailer has cleared me and it’s safe to pull back over if I can’t flash him? When moving back into the slow lane after overtaking it can be hard to judge the distance accurately given how far behind the other vehicle is and how small it appears in the left mirror, which is about six feet from where you’re sitting. In the dark and rain with lots of ambient glare it can be really hard to judge

It’s not hard to judge if you trust in what you are doing and are a good driver. Or are there 2 KrispyKremes on the thread? Grin

CaptainThe95thRifles · 10/11/2021 22:54

If you can't determine that then you shouldn't be driving

Many, many people on the roads simply shouldn't be driving - sadly that is the reality. If you put your faith in other road users, you are taking a risk that they are one of the many people who aren't familiar with the HWC, have poor risk perception or general judgement.

There is much more risk in not doing so as it becomes more likely they won't wait for the signal and will pull over and clip your bonnet, which could easily spin you out at 60mph and cause a pile up

This is really counter-intuitive logic - no, if you don't piss around flashing people, they have to use their own judgement, not just pull in regardless and cause an accident. That doesn't mean waiting to see if someone flashes you, it means waiting until you're confident that the space is genuinely sufficient. The real risk of this is that HGV/artic drivers might stay in the outside lane for a few seconds more than necessary, which is, at worst, a minor loss of productivity.

KrispyKremeDream · 10/11/2021 23:06

[quote eveningbubble]@KrispyKremeDream

Talk to yourself, you just told another poster Exactly how much judgement does it take to determine that a lorry is now ahead of you rather than alongside? If you can't determine that then you shouldn't be driving.

But upthread you just said Driving to the letter of the Highway Code doesn’t really work either. For example, how am I supposed to let an arctic know their trailer has cleared me and it’s safe to pull back over if I can’t flash him? When moving back into the slow lane after overtaking it can be hard to judge the distance accurately given how far behind the other vehicle is and how small it appears in the left mirror, which is about six feet from where you’re sitting. In the dark and rain with lots of ambient glare it can be really hard to judge

It’s not hard to judge if you trust in what you are doing and are a good driver. Or are there 2 KrispyKremes on the thread? Grin[/quote]
Your comprehension skills seem to be lacking.

It's easy to judge if the lorry has cleared your bonnet when you're in the car behind. It's hard to judge when you're in the lorry cab 54 feet in front of the car bonnet, trying to judge the distance in your nearside mirror which is six foot away from you and behind the window which possibly has rain/glare on it.

This is why the lorry behind always flashes the one in front back in.

KrispyKremeDream · 10/11/2021 23:09

@CaptainThe95thRifles

If you can't determine that then you shouldn't be driving

Many, many people on the roads simply shouldn't be driving - sadly that is the reality. If you put your faith in other road users, you are taking a risk that they are one of the many people who aren't familiar with the HWC, have poor risk perception or general judgement.

There is much more risk in not doing so as it becomes more likely they won't wait for the signal and will pull over and clip your bonnet, which could easily spin you out at 60mph and cause a pile up

This is really counter-intuitive logic - no, if you don't piss around flashing people, they have to use their own judgement, not just pull in regardless and cause an accident. That doesn't mean waiting to see if someone flashes you, it means waiting until you're confident that the space is genuinely sufficient. The real risk of this is that HGV/artic drivers might stay in the outside lane for a few seconds more than necessary, which is, at worst, a minor loss of productivity.

Have you ever driven a truck on the motorway at night in poor weather conditions?
DdraigGoch · 10/11/2021 23:13

Did you get the reg number? If there's one thing which makes senior police officers nervous, it's hate crimes. As their actions are clearly motivated by prejudice, reporting this as a hate crime is more likely to get a response.

MissCruellaDeVil · 10/11/2021 23:15

I'm not sure how a dash cam helps?

DdraigGoch · 10/11/2021 23:21

@KrispyKremeDream

Highway Code doesn’t actually give right of way. It’s more advising on best practice.
A key part of the Rules of the Road used at sea is that there's no such thing as "right of way". One vessel is expected to give way but there's still an obligation on the 'stand on' vessel to avoid a collision. Something motorists could learn from.