I have really be struggling mentally at the moment,I have severe depression and anxiety and I have 2 young kids. I have been trying to get my husband to listen to me for days,my husband is a born Pakistani and he just doesn’t understand mental health at all. I was crying to him for over 1hour this morning and I thought I’d finally got through to him, he said he would change his habits etc and spend more time with me and the kids. He said this afternoon he would come home to spend time with us,he came home after I picked the kids up from school and he just got into bed and started watching cricket. Because of how his mum taught him,his mum always fed them chapati and curry when they got home from school.. I don’t,because if I feed my kids that when they get home from school they won’t eat their dinner, they always ask for something like a cheese sandwich which I give them as soon as they get home along with a piece of fruit, I have tried giving them chapati and curry before when we have got home from school but they don’t want to wait for me to cook the chapatis,as my daughter has a Quran class which literally starts a few minutes after we get home so it’s physically not possible because the teacher can only teach her at that time, as well as the sand which they also stay in their uniform until after my daughter has finished her class ( as I physically just don’t have enough time to get them both changed in between picking them up from school, getting them home and my daughters class) my husband knows all this, yet when his mum who lives in Pakistan video called at this time, she asked my husband and my son why he was eating a sandwich,she told my husband that I should be feeding them chapati and curry not sandwiches, that I should give them proper food as soon as I get them home. She also then went on to ask my son why he was still in his uniform, why mummy hasn’t changed him yet. My husband just sat there and let her say all this, when he knows my situation. After he ended the video call with her I got upset because he went back to work, and he’d just spent all that time he promised to sit down and talk to me and spend time with us watching cricket and talking to his mum. I asked him why he did this and he shouted at me and told me that I am “ making the environment in this house horrible and to sort myself out, give me time give me time, what give me time? Look after your kids, feed them, get them changed” I said “ so now once again you’ve heard your mum say all this you are telling me I should look after my kids, when you know why they eat what they do and why they aren’t changed yet” I then went on to tell him, as he has applied for his mums visit visa “ i know as soon as your mum gets here that this is my life, being told I am a bad mum, so this, do this, constantly without being able to say anything to her” and he went on to hit me repeatedly. He then went out the door and went back to work.
I don’t understand what I’ve done so wrong, I do everything for this man, everything for my kids. I am struggling mentality waiting for my prescription of antidepressants and he let his mum sit their and say what she did and said nothing to her and didn’t put her in her place, let her walk on me when I am already down and then even worse he went against me and told me I should be looking after my kids.
I am sorry for the long post, but aibu ? Did I say the wrong thing about his mum? This is constant, with anything I do if she says something,that’s how it is and I’m not allowed to say anything.