Am I being a bit OTT here?

[LookItsMeAgain]

I'll start this off by saying that DS is 19 and is in college (which he gets himself to/from without requiring lifts) and he has a part time job.
Lockdown has been pretty shitty to him and his classmates (from secondary school to college as he had to do all of 1st year remotely).

So I do have sympathy for the past couple of years but we all had to endure lockdown in our own ways.

This is also not a thread about lockdown.

Now that we're coming out the other side, DS is socialising with his friends more and more which is a good thing.

This is where my AIBU is.

I bought a case of beer. Beer that I like to drink. I had a few bottles of it in the fridge and DS asked if he could bring this beer to a friends house. I said that he could, if he replenished the beer. This was about a week ago.
Last night he was going out and I mentioned that he could replenish the beer today as he has no lectures and no shifts for his work, so essentially has the day off. He said he had bought more. I said I didn't see it. He said he bought different beer to restock it. Beer I don't drink. I don't like the taste of it.

My question is should he go out today and buy the beer that he took of mine that I bought that I like to drink or should I just accept that he has bought 'beer' and it's of no consequence whether I like it or not.

YABU - He doesn't need to get the exact brand of beer that I like to replenish what he took, he's bought beer, be happy with that!
YANBU - He took your beer so should replace with the same brand of beer.

Also I wonder if it's because it's beer? If you replaced it with wine or chocolate or cheese, I don't think people would be so shruggy about it.

If you have a preference for a certain brand, you have a preference and should expect like for like, regardless of what the item is. If DH ate my aero from the fridge and replaced it with a twirl, I'd LTB ask him to buy me an aero when he was next at the shops. I don't want a twirl!

He sounds like a nice young man. As a one off could you not have just given him the beer to enjoy with his friends? Unless you’re completely broke and the beer was a real splurge then I think you were tight to have asked him to replace it in the first place.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

What the fuck is wrong with you *@bigbeautwoman* 

@LookItsMeAgain I actually agree with PP that he is a 19yr old man and needs to act responsibly - I would expect the same behaviour as he would do in a shared flat (replacing anything he has borrowed with same not an inferior. This extends to things like cleaning up after himself too!)

In RL I would probably myself let it go as it wouldn't be that important to me - but if it's important to you he should respect it.

We need the set bar high for our young men - how many posts do you see here about fucking useless partners and husbands?

I bet if you replaced DS with DH, MN wouldn't say let it go, they would say tell him to get his thoughtless lazy arse back to the shop before you LTB

(Aibu that I really want to test that theory now )

Great post, absolutely agree.

Ps love your username!

I'd make sure he knew that it wasn't OK. Not nastily but just 'I don't actually drink x brand. you keep that for your next party, night in whatever. Could you pick me up some Y brand please. There is a twat on this thread and isn't the OP.

If you don’t want an opinion don’t ask for it! truth hurts clearly

@LettertoHermoine

He took a few bottle! Not the crate! Jesus let it go.

When I said 'a few bottles in the fridge' it wasn't 3 bottles only that he took on his night out. He took the ones from the fridge (as they were already cold so ready to drink) and he took half of the box of bottled beer. There was 20 bottles in the box and he took half on that night out, clearing the beer that I had bought. The box that the beer came in went into the recycling bin as there was none left.

I just want to clarify and apologies if this reads as a drip feed I wasn't intending it to, just clarifying about quantities.

The same posters saying you’re causing drama or calling you a twat will also be posting threads asking why their DH is so selfish or incapable of doing the weekly shop accurately and simultaneously enabling their sons to be the same.

Come on this really isn’t a big deal is it! Thank him for replacing your beer but tell him you would prefer X brand in the future and let him have what he got you! If he does this again in the future don’t be so lenient but in this instance give him a break.

YANBU it wasn’t the agreement and you don’t like the other beer. What is his argument for you being unreasonable?

As another pp said, if this was about red vs white wine, or gin or chocolate you'd get different responses. 'beer' is a generic term for a hugely variable drink and depending on what the brands were it could absolutely be as different as red vs white wine, which many people would appreciate is not 'like for like'. The op actively dislikes the brand her DS bought so he hasn't actually replaced her beer has he?

I think it depends if he knew that you wouldnt touch the new beer. If yes, he was being cheeky as he has knowingly replaced something of yours with something just for himself. If not then just tell him for next time

I would be cross. Your summing up is right though, let this one go but next time say simply "no, last time I ended up subsidising your night out and I won't be doing that again".

Tbf I would probably let it go and next time say "fine but I expect it replaced like for like within a couple of days and not some cheap crap that won't be any use to me" but I'm probably a twat to

So he's essentially bought the replacements for him not you as you don't like it so no, you are not being unreasonable.

@bigbeautwoman

If you don’t want an opinion don’t ask for it! truth hurts clearly

You can tell the 'truth' without being rude and abusive.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

What the fuck is wrong with you *@bigbeautwoman* 

@LookItsMeAgain I actually agree with PP that he is a 19yr old man and needs to act responsibly - I would expect the same behaviour as he would do in a shared flat (replacing anything he has borrowed with same not an inferior. This extends to things like cleaning up after himself too!)

In RL I would probably myself let it go as it wouldn't be that important to me - but if it's important to you he should respect it.

We need the set bar high for our young men - how many posts do you see here about fucking useless partners and husbands?

I bet if you replaced DS with DH, MN wouldn't say let it go, they would say tell him to get his thoughtless lazy arse back to the shop before you LTB

(Aibu that I really want to test that theory now )

Can’t agree with this enough!!

He’s clearly trying it on, because he now gets to drink the new beer too. 10/10 for effort on his part but obviously that now comes with consequences so no he can’t take any of your beer next time but nice try.

What happens when he does this with his flat mates? Or his partner? He needs to know that he can’t get away with it again but that it’s not the end of the world so no big bollocking as such (although if it had been my chocolate replaced by a sub standard brand I can’t say this would be the same advice)

And as for calling the op a twat - wow you definitely get all sorts on these threads, whatever happened to manners?!

If you have a preference for a certain brand, you have a preference and should expect like for like, regardless of what the item is. If DH ate my aero from the fridge and replaced it with a twirl, I'd LTB ask him to buy me an aero when he was next at the shops. I don't want a twirl!

Quite. It’s like replacing a bottle of 12 year old single malt whisky with a supermarket own brand blended one.

No, you tell it as you see it. Not 'as it is'. I don't agree at all that the op was in the wrong, let alone 'a twat'. There is a big fat line between being honest and being rude. There is no merit in the latter.