AIBU to want my daughters birthday party to be the same month as her birthday

[Danlsb]

My daughter is born a day before Christmas- ever since her first birthday my husband and MIL keep going on and on that she should have her birthday party in July! Apparently they feel it’s better because it could be outside, according to mil everyone with December birthdays does it and there is less other stuff going on ( I take turns hosting Christmas with MIL and help out with the school fete at the start of December). They point blank refuse to help every year until the actual day because I won’t listen to reason and are constantly negative about it- until after the party when they say what a great party it was!
I usually do the party to the weekend before her birthday so there is more Christmas prep time
I can see that there are advantages to summer birthday parties- although my DS has a birthday in August and the last few years it’s rained on the day of his party.
Like many children DD missed having a party last year ( she will be 8 this year) she asked for a disco party. She had an upsetting few months so I feel a party would be great for her and her fiends - I’m the one doing all the work for it at the end of the day
Aibu - she should have her birthday in the summer
Unbu - if she wants a party the same month as her birthday she should be able to have one

She should have her birthday party, around her birthday.

If people want a summer party have one, but its not her birthday party.

Why on earth would you have your party in some random month?! Not to mention everyone saying ‘oh how old are you now?!’ ‘Happy birthday!’ ‘Another year older!’

Erm actually I’m still 8, it’s not my birthday and I’m only 6 months older. It’s just gran and dad are a bit barmy.

Completely ignore DH and mils birthday. When they ask why just say you decided you had too much on that month and have decided they should have it in six months time instead.

I know one December baby that does this now older as her friends were always skint around Xmas so had a summer night out.
You can’t win- my oldest child’s august, will prob need to have a July bday it wants school friends there- January babies everyone’s skint and over celebrating, April bdays roll into Easter - celebrate her bday near her date and when older she can move her celebration, at this age it would just be odd.

Jeez, you are definitely not BU. Why do DH and MIL feel they have the right to comment on a party they are not helping with? Organise a party in Dec, don’t invite DH and MIL.

She should have her party when SHE wants.

I do think there is an advantage to celebrating in the summer and I do know lots of people who do what your MIL describes, but at 8 she's old enough to choose.

I would have done the summer party when she was a baby though.

Of course she can't have her birthday party five months before her birthday - that's ridiculous!

I have a Dec DC and can't imagine doing a party for them in the summer for their bday?!
It just seems bizarre to me.
We do them at the beginning of Dec to free weekends for Xmas stuff for ourselves and other families

I have a December baby and while I do understand it’s nice for them to have a point mid year to ask for a special present I don’t think this should be a birthday party. It’s a bit peculiar.

Just stop discussing it with them. The only people whose opinion counts are 1) your DD and 2) the person organising i.e. you.

Even if it was held in July your MIL and DH wouldn’t be planning it or dieting it, would they?

It works for some people to do a summer party instead of hosting something near Christmas but whatever, it’s not obligatory when you’re born in December to wait to celebrate! Tell them to shut up.

Yanbu, ridiculous suggestion!

Summer parties are stressful. You can hope for outdoors but it might be boiling or most likely raining. So you need an indoor back up. My son is august born and it’s rained 4 out of his 5 birthdays.
Winter birthdays are much easier! You know it’s indoors and you just plan for that. My niece is just before Christmas. Everyone is festive. The house os decorated. It’s lovely!

My sons birthday is just before Christmas and honestly, sometimes it’s a right pain in the arse with regards to gifts (sometimes he will get things I’ve put aside for Christmas as presents for his birthday from guests - so I have emergency last minute rebuying to do 😂), we’ve also found that lots can’t come to parties around them as people are busy/travel around that time but we just tend to have his party earlier in the month to counter that. We are having it at the end of Nov this year but he was absolutely fine with it. We definitely floated the idea of a “half birthday” in the summer months when he was little but it’s never happened and I honestly think it’s such a long time between the “summer party” and an actual birthday, he’d probably feel a bit let down on his actual day if we did that/id feel guilty and end up throwing a mini party anyway. I say stick to your guns and find out what works for you and your daughter.

Yanbu, why should she move her birthday just because everyone's busy in December!?

YANBU they are being weird!

So all her friends would sing happy birthday and bring birthday presents and cards but it's 6 months away from her birthday?

It's none of mil's business anyway! Tell her to butt out cheeky cow going on at you about your own daughter's birthday. Don't bloody invite either of them if they are negative about it.

One of the best children's birthday parties my two have ever attended was a disco party in a local community hall the week before Christmas. Many of the children were wearing the outfits that had been bought for Christmas day so they got an extra outing, and there were lots of pretty dresses and new shirts on show. It felt really festive and celebratory.

Totally up to her.

She might change her mind when she's older, but as a kid the date of your birthday feels important! I know a chap born on 25th December who always celebrated it on 25th June, but I can totally understand that one, no-one wants a birthday on Christmas Day.

I have a Christmas day baby and this year were doing the party in early December as its too hectic around Christmas and too much to cram into one day and make both feel special. When she's older she can decide for herself if she wants to continue with her early December party, a half year party or keep it all on Christmas day.
In your case OP, your dd is definitely old enough to decide for herself when she wants her party, its about her feeling special and not making life easier for others so definitely stick to your guns

Both my children have late December birthdays. Their actual birthday is a family affair (as all their friends tend to be busy) with cake / gifts / activity (bowling, golf) special meal etc. We then have an 'unbirthday' in the summer for their friends. The beauty of this is that they then some attention / presents mid year rather than having Christmas and birthday within a week of each other. I can do their unbirthday to suit me so not tied to an actual day (normally done in June or July). It works well for us and both my children really like it. They are in senior school now so this year there will be a small friends do near their actual birthday and a huge garden event in the summer for their unbirthdays. This works for us and my children have never had an issue with it - in fact they like it as they get two special days a year (like the Queen). The unbirthday is in the summer so can be outdoors and normally involves 20+ friends in our garden! Do what works for you.

It's your DH I'd be mad with.

Your MIL can fuck right off.

But why is her dad allowed to move her birthday without consent and then refuse to assist with the work for her birthday party because he thinks it's on the wrong date. Tell him to grow up! And stop coming up with pathetic excuses to off load the work. This year only invite those who are involve in the planning to attend.
Presumably he was there when she was conceived and therefore had his say in her birth-date then...

I'm between Xmas and New year and having a middle of year party is what non Xmas birthday people say all the *n time.

Party near her birthday - always

@PiratePenguin

Both my children have late December birthdays. Their actual birthday is a family affair (as all their friends tend to be busy) with cake / gifts / activity (bowling, golf) special meal etc. We then have an 'unbirthday' in the summer for their friends. The beauty of this is that they then some attention / presents mid year rather than having Christmas and birthday within a week of each other. I can do their unbirthday to suit me so not tied to an actual day (normally done in June or July). It works well for us and both my children really like it. They are in senior school now so this year there will be a small friends do near their actual birthday and a huge garden event in the summer for their unbirthdays. This works for us and my children have never had an issue with it - in fact they like it as they get two special days a year (like the Queen). The unbirthday is in the summer so can be outdoors and normally involves 20+ friends in our garden! Do what works for you.

This idea sound amazing actually

Well I have a July born child and loads of his friends are always away on holiday during his birthdays. Ridiculous to celebrate your birthday half a later or earlier!

My DC birthday is on the 23 of December so understand the pain, in terms of trying to organise things as close to the actual birthday. We’ve try and do a party in December depending on what can be done and limitations (other nct birthday buddies) and try and have a party in the summer. The summer one is never called a birthday party. It’s just a summer party where we chuck the kids in the garden and they can do all the things they can’t do in a December birthday.

Watching with interest as current 32 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and due on the 1st of Jan!

Now your daughter is old enough to have a preference it only fair to give her a view!