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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homeless with 1 year old + council help + private rented offers

50 replies

cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 12:30

Hello,

I was kicked out by my partner and his family 4 days ago. I have a 1 year old and we are currently having to stay on a sofa at my friend's, who can only keep us here for two more days.

The council have told me to send them documents etc regarding ID / address / everything necessary to see what kind of help they can provide me and in the meantime their emergency housing team will ring me tomorrow.

I have been reading up about their policies on helping the homeless and they seem to make a lot of private rental offers. This is really stressing me out. I have privately rented previously but that was before having a child and having nursery fees and it was easier to flatshare with other people.

I just wanted some advice or any similar stories? I have been in the borough for almost 5 years, my son goes to nursery there and HOPEFULLY my ex will be able to help look after him sometimes once things are on better terms, but there will be no financial input unfortunately. I work in central London and my son goes to nursery - not even full time! - which I pay for, approx half of my wage and I am left with about 1200 a month.

I'm really worried if I'm made an offer for private rent, how will I possibly afford it?! I am not entitled to any benefits other than CB because I get £35k a year, but even then, after childcare costs I don't know how I will manage a property offer close to work and childcare - how will I afford the bills and food and everything else? Will the council consider all these things? Does anyone have any similar stories?

OP posts:
authenticforgery · 09/11/2021 12:35

Will you be entitled to housing benefit/universal credit to help?
Then of course your ex will need to pay maintenance so that will help.

Yayaga · 09/11/2021 12:37

Kicked out by your partner and his family? So he still lives at home? He will need to help pay for his child.

yummyscummymummy01 · 09/11/2021 12:37

Shelter have a helpline where you can get advice?

Original poster
cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 12:39

@Yayaga - yep, our relationship has been breaking down for some time no thanks to lots of interference from his family. There has been a lot of emotional and mental turmoil that I've been through and now that I stood up for myself, I was told to leave.

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 12:40

@yummyscummymummy01

Shelter have a helpline where you can get advice?
I have spoken to them, and they mentioned the different options of help that the council can give. My concern is just being able to afford rent / bills / food / transport on top of his nursery costs. As I will probably be doing a lot of his nursery runs myself now, I will have to increase his hours too as he was only doing half days at nursery before.
OP posts:
Yayaga · 09/11/2021 12:40

He sounds pathetic. So he isnt paying rent? Does he work?

Bunce1 · 09/11/2021 12:41

He will have to pay maintenance for his child. Go through CMS?

Original poster
cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 12:43

@Yayaga

He sounds pathetic. So he isnt paying rent? Does he work?
He pays rent for his parents and siblings who he is living with + all bills so I am not even sure how much help I will get from him or if it will even be enough as they live in Zone 1.
OP posts:
Yayaga · 09/11/2021 12:46

Well he will need to move out and let them pay their own way as he has a child to support now. WTF are his family doing sponging off him so they can live in Zone 1. Don't let this go cherry. He owes you. Flowers

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 12:47

He doesn't had a choice as to whether he pays maintenance or not. Put in a claim with the CMS today.

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 12:48

It's a straight percentage of salary and his other commitments won't count.

Danikm151 · 09/11/2021 12:49

You may be able to get uc towards housing costs and childcare depending on your LHA rate. Try a benefits calculator with hypothetical rent figures.

BingBongToTheMoon · 09/11/2021 12:52

Contact CMS immediately. They won’t care what his rent it, maintenance is calculated by his earnings. Also the agencies that can/will offer you help will want to know why he isn’t paying maintenance for his child.
Would a childminder be cheaper than a nursery?

Greenmonsters · 09/11/2021 12:57

I would imagine you will be able to claim UC on a salary of £35K as you will have childcare costs and rental costs which UC will help you with.

However, it is likely that within central London if you are found to be unintentionally homeless you will be given a private rental which will meet the local authorities statutory duty to house you. If this happens, please accept the property (so long as meets your housing need) and at that point you can then look at your longer term options - the most immediate need is to get a suitable home you can live in asap.

Please speak to the Housing team at your local authority about your concerns ref rent, UC etc as they should be able to help you too.

Good luck

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 12:57

Do you know approx how much your partner earns?

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 12:58

ex partner

RonSwansonsChair · 09/11/2021 12:59

Sorry you're going through this. Do make sure you're claiming all that you can including from the father.

RussianSpy101 · 09/11/2021 13:00

When your child turns 2 you’ll get the 15 funded hours for nursery I think as you’re a single parent. That will help. Will you be entitled to housing benefit?

Ozanj · 09/11/2021 13:05

Talk to your nursery. I own a nursery and we can provide ‘loans’ or completely wipe out nursery fees if you think this will only be a short term problem.

Funnylittlefloozie · 09/11/2021 13:09

Oh cherry, how awful for you. You've had great advice here, so all I will add is, absolutely get on to CMS immediately and get your claim in. Your daughter deserves to have both her parents providing for her, even if one of them is shit enough to have made his own child homeless. Wtf sort of "man" does that?

Puddlesandbubbles · 09/11/2021 13:11

The local authority has a duty to provide you with affordable housing. This may well be private housing, many councils have a list of local landlords who will rent at lower than market value. They must consider whether you can afford a property before making the offer, whether its social or private rented.

As others have said, you are very likely to be entitled to Universal Credit. Childcare costs are taken into account in the Universal Credit assessment.

It's a horrible position but there is help available. Entitled To has a great calculator to see what help you get and Shelter or Citizens Advice can help you through the housing process.

knittingaddict · 09/11/2021 13:15

Is the relationship over? It's not clear that it is.

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 13:17

Also, your ex can't just walk out of your child's life with no consequences. You could drop your child off at his tomorrow and he would have a legal obligation to care for him and house him (including paying his nursery costs if your ex wanted to work). I know that you never would because you care too much about your DS, but I'm a bit worried that you see the child as 100% your responsibility rather than a shared responsibility. You shouldn't be struggling alone... make sure you get what your child is entitled to from their other parent and don't feel guilty about it for one second.

knittingaddict · 09/11/2021 13:18

Just seen that you said ex, so it is over. If he has indeed kicked you out then the only useful advice is to put in a claim with the CMS.

fournonblondes · 09/11/2021 13:20

I am sorry but they kicked out with a one year old? This is shocking. Sorry I have not idea what to suggest that others have not but hope you and child find a home soon.