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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Homeless with 1 year old + council help + private rented offers

50 replies

cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 12:30

Hello,

I was kicked out by my partner and his family 4 days ago. I have a 1 year old and we are currently having to stay on a sofa at my friend's, who can only keep us here for two more days.

The council have told me to send them documents etc regarding ID / address / everything necessary to see what kind of help they can provide me and in the meantime their emergency housing team will ring me tomorrow.

I have been reading up about their policies on helping the homeless and they seem to make a lot of private rental offers. This is really stressing me out. I have privately rented previously but that was before having a child and having nursery fees and it was easier to flatshare with other people.

I just wanted some advice or any similar stories? I have been in the borough for almost 5 years, my son goes to nursery there and HOPEFULLY my ex will be able to help look after him sometimes once things are on better terms, but there will be no financial input unfortunately. I work in central London and my son goes to nursery - not even full time! - which I pay for, approx half of my wage and I am left with about 1200 a month.

I'm really worried if I'm made an offer for private rent, how will I possibly afford it?! I am not entitled to any benefits other than CB because I get £35k a year, but even then, after childcare costs I don't know how I will manage a property offer close to work and childcare - how will I afford the bills and food and everything else? Will the council consider all these things? Does anyone have any similar stories?

OP posts:

loislovesstewie · 09/11/2021 13:24

Lots of local authorities will assist people into private renting, often by means of a deposit, the fact is that there are very few social housing properties in some parts of the country and often private rents come up quicker. The local authority has a duty to assist you in finding accommodation and by finding private rental they are doing that. Sorry, but that is really how things work today.

LakieLady · 09/11/2021 13:25

If the council secure a private rental sector property for you they could be said to have fulfilled their statutory duty under homelessness legislation, unless your reasons for declining it are such that they are "reasonable" in law.

Ime, LAs don't offer PRS properties that are unaffordable to the point that it would be reasonable to decline them. However, my experience has been with councils pn the Sussex coast, and although homelessness is a big problem here, it's not on the scale it is in London. London boroughs may well be more ruthless.

I think you need housing advice from a specialist in the borough in question, as they are more likely to know how your council approaches such cases. It would be a good idea to get an appt with a housing adviser at a local CAB or advice centre/law centre.

Councils also often lease PRS property from private landlords and then rent them to people who are homeless. When they do this, the tenant pays rent to the council, not the original landlord, and the rent charged is generally at the maximum local housing allowance for that area, so would almost invariably be cheaper than the rent charged by a private landlord.

These schemes are known as "private sector leasing" (PSL) and tenancies under them are much more secure than direct PRS tenancies. If they offer you a tenancy under PSL, I'd bite their hand off!

Hope you get sorted soon.

whynotwhatknot · 09/11/2021 13:29

claim cms doesnt matter what he pays his parents they can take it staight from his employers if he refuses

3WildOnes · 09/11/2021 13:32

Do you know how much your ex earns? Is he employed or self employed. If he is self employed it is trickier as he can hide earnings but if employed should be fairly straight. Put in a claim ASAP. Use the CMS calculator to see how much you are entitled to.
I used entitled to to work out how much you would receive in benefits. I had to make up what borough you lived in and out in rent of £1047 which was the maximum for the area for a one bed flat. But actually you maybe eligible for a two bed. Anyway is said you would be entitled to £272 a week which should cover most of your rent.

SW1amp · 09/11/2021 13:33

@knittingaddict

Is the relationship over? It's not clear that it is.

He has made OP and their one year old baby homeless

I’m struggling to think of any circumstances that someone would go back to a partner who has behaved like that…

Porcupineintherough · 09/11/2021 13:34

@fournonblondes if they hadnt kicked the OP out then the council would give her no help to get rehoused at all. So if the relationship is over then maybe that will prove to be for the best.

LakieLady · 09/11/2021 13:38

@loislovesstewie

There are "reasonable" grounds for refusal though, and affordability can be one of them.

OP, you may find that if you were paying rent at the LHA rate for your borough, you could be entitled to some help with childcare costs under UC.

I'd suggest that you on to "entitled to" and put in your details, plus a rental figure equivalent to the LHA for your borough (you can find this on the council's or govt website). And bear in mind that if you are entitled to some UC, this will go up when the work allowance and taper rate change next month.

loislovesstewie · 09/11/2021 15:19

@LakieLady, yes I realize that. It was one of a number of factors I took into account when I worked as a housing officer dealing with homeless families. The property has to be 'suitable' in lots of ways.

Original poster

cherrybakewell90 · 09/11/2021 15:49

Yeah sorry it is very unlikely after this that we will reconcile. When things calm down I will ask more about financial support.

He earns 40k and is the sole provider for his family, a situation I understand but obviously it doesn't help me in my current situation.

I currently book 3 half days of nursery for £850 a month to be exact. Will need to increase hours - full time is approx 2000£ a month for nursery! So even with some CM I am not sure how far it will get me :(

OP posts:

Gliderx · 09/11/2021 17:01

You'd need to work out the exact amount, but you should get somewhere around £350 to £400 child maintenance a month.

If he chooses to provide for his family, that's up to him, but his first responsibility is to his child. Put in the CMS claim today.

It might not be worth your while to go full time after you've taken account of childcare costs... you need to work out what you'll be entitled to on UC etc. but I have friends in a similar position who work 3 days a week because there's a cap on what UC will cover for childcare.

The real killer is going to be central London rent/commuting costs. Could you look to move out to where it is more affordable? What job do you do and could you do it outside central London?

RonSwansonsChair · 09/11/2021 17:55

@cherrybakewell90

Yeah sorry it is very unlikely after this that we will reconcile. When things calm down I will ask more about financial support.

He earns 40k and is the sole provider for his family, a situation I understand but obviously it doesn't help me in my current situation.

Why wait until things calm down to claim what your child is legally entitled to?

Lovelymincepies · 09/11/2021 18:03

Contact CMS and pay the £20 so that your child can get the money they are entitled to. It's not about what he bloody pays for, it's about your child. Do not hesitate with this, there is no reason why you should, don't let him get away without paying for his child. Its very simple to do really.

You will get help with housing and child tax credits.

DeepaBeesKit · 09/11/2021 18:04

Even for london that sounds like a very expensive nursery.

You would definitely do better looking for childminder which would be around £8 an hour at most

UhOhOops · 09/11/2021 18:04

Cms first thing in the morning.

sunshinesupermum · 09/11/2021 18:27

Why is your ex providing for his parents out of his £40K salary?

Hm2020 · 09/11/2021 18:27

Cms will not take in to account his family they will take in to account his earnings and how much his only dependent ie child is entitled to please make this your first port of call tomorrow. I am sorry you are going through this.

Incywinceyspider · 09/11/2021 18:58

How many days do you work? And who used to look after your baby on non nursery days? Was it his family?

I agree that you need to go to CMS. How he pays his bills isn't your problem. If he doesn't pay maintenance the money can be taken directly from his salary. You don't owe him anything.

gogohm · 09/11/2021 19:07

You are very unlikely to get council owned housing at short notice. Private sector offer is the most likely scenario as they have a duty to help you but not pay for your accommodation. Uc may contribute something. Do look yourself privately too, don't discount a flat share situation, in similar circumstances my friend found a large attic room in the house of a couple who were lovely, helped her out occasionally with babysitting even. There's good people out there

Original poster

cherrybakewell90 · 10/11/2021 08:22

@Incywinceyspider

How many days do you work? And who used to look after your baby on non nursery days? Was it his family?

I agree that you need to go to CMS. How he pays his bills isn't your problem. If he doesn't pay maintenance the money can be taken directly from his salary. You don't owe him anything.

I work full time - two days from home. My partner was the one picking up the baby from nursery etc so I'm worried about losing this help / being placed outside the borough due to affordability as it will make it hard to retain my job.. if i am within the borough at least I will have a chance of getting some help from him as it is ultimately his child so he should help with these things even if we are no longer together..

OP posts:

Original poster

cherrybakewell90 · 10/11/2021 08:24

@DeepaBeesKit

Even for london that sounds like a very expensive nursery.

You would definitely do better looking for childminder which would be around £8 an hour at most

It isn't... it's just a regular chain and not anything fancy at all. :( it is the same price as other nurseries I looked at before registering my 1 y/o

OP posts:

Yayaga · 10/11/2021 08:24

What about a houseshare with another single mum? Could be quite comforting? And cheaper?

Gliderx · 10/11/2021 17:41

Do you have family you could stay with? Could you get a job near them? Tbh I wouldn't bother with trying to juggle a hundred balls to stay near him so your child can see him given he's made your child homeless. What father does that? You and your child are sleeping on someone else's sofa. He doesn't really deserve to be a father and I wouldn't factor him into your plans at all except to pay maintenance. £400 or whatever you get will go a lot further outside London.

Lasair · 10/11/2021 18:37

Hopefully you can get help and surely he’s going to want to help out with his son. Look at council run nurseries they have reduced rates for different circumstances. You may be able to get help with childcare costs when your baby is 2. Can you ask work to work more at home if you can’t afford rent/nursery. What borough are you in?

whynotwhatknot · 10/11/2021 20:21

i wouldnt rely on him doing actual help as hes not concerned wher ehis child is living right now is he

the cms claim wil take about a month to go through so best to do it now-he wont have a choice in this

PooWillyNameChange · 10/11/2021 21:48

You need to claim CMS, immediately. He can't just shirk all responsibility.

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