AIBU to ask neighbour to move appliance because of noise?

[Badvibrations]

NC for this

I live in a terrace. My neighbours on one side are very nice and I really like them. I really don't want to fall out or cause any tension.

But they have an appliance which vibrates through the walls and drives me nuts.

The rest of my family don't mind it.

I have a problem with noise and vibration, suspected ADHD (waiting for assessment) so I know I'm not 'normal'

Am I being unreasonable to ask them to try moving it away from the wall?

YABU: suck it up, you live in a terrace
YANBU: no harm in asking

@Mumteedum

They are noisy if that's what it is. I know next door had something similar on loads a long while ago and it's like once you tune in, you can't tune it out and it drove me mad too. It may be on hard floors so it's worse than if on carpet or something. Maybe they could stand it on something or use a timer function. Seems a bit much for it to be going all the time.

I think that's the problem, I've tuned in to it!

If they can't do anything to mitigate it I will investigate hypnosis or something, it really is driving me insane.

Did anything help for you?

If I was your neighbour, I probably wouldn't realise it was vibrating enough to affect you and I certainly wouldn't mind you bringing it to my attention. I'd be happy to move the appliance if I was able to.

I have a dehumidifier upstairs and yes, it's a noisy bugger!

Report back please OP. I'm sure your neighbours will be fine about it.

Fwiw they are pretty noisy in other ways, yappy dogs, music practice, jumping downstairs, lots of DIY and that's not an issue (well, they do go a bit overboard on the DIY but at least that's time limited)

I agree no harm in asking and if successful buy them some flowers/chocolate/wine/cheese/cake

@missverstaendnis

seriously, NO. so your neighbour is not allowed to do laundry unless you approve of it? Buy yourself a detached house then or live with it, comes with normal life

Eh? tbh you sound angry about this, Just wondering why.

I'd ask too. I certainly wouldn't mind my neighbour asking me. They might not realise how noisy it is. Just say you can hear a vibration and can't work out what it is and it's on x wall and just wandered if it was coming from theirs. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if they are good neighbours.

HRTFT I suffer with a type of tinnitus where low vibrations, car engines ect go right through my brain (not literally) and this would absolutely drive me insane.

They probably don't realise it is vibrating and moving it an inch could make all ghe difference, so I would knock and have a friendly chat.

@Badvibrations

Fwiw they are pretty noisy in other ways, yappy dogs, music practice, jumping downstairs, lots of DIY and that's not an issue (well, they do go a bit overboard on the DIY but at least that's time limited)

I have a very similar problem! The other noises don’t bother me, but the reverbing bass from the sound bar is maddening to me.

Like you, I get that it’s me, my neighbour gives no shits, (don’t let that put you off asking yours, mine is )

But do you really think something like hypnosis would work to stop you zoning in on sounds? I would looove to get something like that.

Ask your neighbour to come round and listen to it, then they can hear for themselves how much it is intrusive for you.
I'd be quite happy with that if I was your neighbour.

If they have it on a hard floor or on a worksurface, you could offer to buy a thick rubber type mat to stand it on to see if it makes a difference.

If you're noise-sensitive, have a look at Flare Calmers.

@Badvibrations

Fwiw they are pretty noisy in other ways, yappy dogs, music practice, jumping downstairs, lots of DIY and that's not an issue (well, they do go a bit overboard on the DIY but at least that's time limited)

I think based on this as well and how much it appears to be bothering you I'd look at moving to an detached house. Or wear ear plugs a lot.

@TotallySuper
Sorry if I wasn't clear, I was just saying that all the other noises really don't bother me, just this one vibration !!

I can't afford a detached house, or moving costs, can barely afford this one to be honest.

@BlankTimes

Ask your neighbour to come round and listen to it, then they can hear for themselves how much it is intrusive for you. I'd be quite happy with that if I was your neighbour.

If they have it on a hard floor or on a worksurface, you could offer to buy a thick rubber type mat to stand it on to see if it makes a difference.

If you're noise-sensitive, have a look at Flare Calmers.

Thanks, I could try those. Are they any good for vibrations? I don't have a problem with general noise.

But do you really think something like hypnosis would work to stop you zoning in on sounds? I would looove to get something like that.

I don't know, but as it's very much my problem I can't think of another proactive way to tackle it! Maybe meditation?

We use a dehumidifier in our bathroom. Next door's main bedroom is the other side of the wall, so we used a rubber and/or felt mat to damp the vibrations.

We werent' a bit bothered, more apologetic, when they knocked on the door to ask what the hell was making the noise

We have a dehumidifier upstairs that vibrates. I think it annoys me more than anyone but worth it for a warmer feeling home.

Thanks everyone for your replies, I will compose what I hope is a reasonable approach and see what happens!

Will let you know what, if anything, they say!

I was also going to suggest you asking if they/you could buy a noise absorbing mat for it to stand on.

@Badvibrations I'm not quite sure. I guess it stopped and I forgot about it. I possibly did have too much wine and a perimenopausal fit of drunken passive aggression with the tv volume 🤔😳😬 honestly can't say if that contributed...I have a vague recollection. For shame!

[quote Mumteedum]@Badvibrations I'm not quite sure. I guess it stopped and I forgot about it. I possibly did have too much wine and a perimenopausal fit of drunken passive aggression with the tv volume 🤔😳😬 honestly can't say if that contributed...I have a vague recollection. For shame![/quote]

I'm no stranger to perimenopausal fits of various descriptions...

Let us know when you’ve asked them, I’m interested in how they take it. I’ve had difficult neighbours in the past and these things can be a nightmare!

@Raychelle

Let us know when you’ve asked them, I’m interested in how they take it. I’ve had difficult neighbours in the past and these things can be a nightmare!

Will do! Will probably leave til tomorrow now as they have two small children.

They are absolutely lovely in general so fingers crossed they won't hate me!

I feel your pain. Our neighbours have what sounds like an industrial dryer which they use to launder table linen, towels etc from their restaurant. When it’s on it’s solid for 6/7 hours and the vibration is in every room of our house. It’s one of those “once you hear it you can’t not hear it noises. I’d much rather periodic bursts of a loud radio!

@Salahdor that would drive me crazy, our own tumble dryer drives me crazy especially when it's finished and doing the occasional thing to prevent creases and you can only here it from the sitting room!

Have just sent message, fingers crossed they don't mind me asking!

I really, really don't want to piss them off

Phew, my neighbours are so kind

They said they'll look in to moving the dehumidifier and/or dampening.

They didn't mind at all and were so nice about it.

I've asked them to tell me if I can do anything for them in return I'll also get them something nice to say thank you ..