Nursery related - am I being a CF?

[Anon2137]

Please be kind, I’m a very anxious person. Obviously I want an opinion but no attacking please.

Went for settling in today with DC(2 years old). I told them my other child used to go few years back and then went to school nursery. They said they remember me and were annoyed I left after they did all the hard work with her (I put her in school nursery - the nursery attached to the school she was going to and is in now). I thought they were maybe half joking but few more things said. I felt a little intimidated, they are the owners and although seem very nice they make me feel a little on edge - think really strict headteacher vibe!

They questioned me on my intentions with DC2 and I explained when it was my daughters Time it was okay as I was not working so didn’t mind doing the 3 hours a day everyday drop off and pick up. Plus there’s no guarantee he will get nursery place in the school as they oversubscribed.

I’m conflicted now and feel guilty if I do get nursery place in school when he turns 3 (well
Term after his 3rd birthday) what should I do? I need him to be in nursery now as he’s being looked after by family and needs kids around him that’s why I’ve put him in this nursery at age 2.

The nursery staff made me feel like they did me a favour in looking after my DD all those years ago. But I paid for it so isn’t it kind of their job? Rather than saying “did all the hard work” then i buggered off!

What does everyone else think?

@Hankunamatata

Is this a private daycare or a preschool with funded places. If funded pre school places I can see their annoyance as when a child is withdrawn they lose their funding immediately.

Obviously they lose the funding, it's for the child - not the nursery

*I don't think you really need to worry too much about what they think of you.

You're paying them to provide a service. Do what suits you and your child, give the correct period of notice and stop feeling like they're doing you a favour.*

This.

Please don't worry about it too much OP. Personally I think it was petty and unprofessional for them to say that.

You were paying them and they need to deal with and care for the child in front of them. If that child needs potty training so be it. Children have needs that have to be met at every age.

They are not doing you a special favour . Please don't let them make you think of it like that.

I had this exact response when DS was at nursery and I took him out to put him in a a feeder school nursery when he turned three.

They were very annoyed I was taking him out of their nursery, it turned out it was because they make a profit from the funded hours.

They actually took me to court to try to get the the money from me.
Then repeatedly harassed me to try to get me to put him back in their nursery saying they would drop the small claims case.

Run like the wind.

@ElementalIllusions what did they want the money for?

[quote tallduckandhandsome]@ElementalIllusions what did they want the money for? [/quote]
They had worded their contract so that 0-2 years you had to give two months notice but once the got close to the 3yr funded hours you had to give 6 months notice.

They sued me for 12 months of full time fees,
Despite DS only actually attended the nursery for two half days a week,
They had it in the contract that at 3yrs the hours would be changed to full hours, to get the maximum funding, whether you used it or not.

I had given my notice before he was eligible for the funded hours but they argued I had told them I would be keeping him there and increasing his hours, so they had already done the paperwork for the funding, they used that as proof.

I was paying something like £65 a month for the two half days he went but they were suing me for full time hours he never once attended, it came to £3k.

@Justajot

They sound rubbish. I felt bad telling DD2's nursery that I was going to reduce her days and send her to the school nursery for part of each week, so that she made friends with the children she'd be at school with. They were really supportive and said it was a great idea. Massive contrast to your experience.

This is my experience too. I think they are being very odd and not putting the child’s needs first.

@ElementalIllusions yikes, they sound like vultures. How much did you end up paying in the end?

I've worked in a small private pre-school, we have had people send their children to us at age two and then move them in to school Nursery.
While it's disappointing, as we want to keep them with us, there is never any pressure on the choices you as a parent make for your child!!
Are you sure it wasn't a tongue in cheek comment?

[quote tallduckandhandsome]@ElementalIllusions yikes, they sound like vultures. How much did you end up paying in the end?[/quote]
The judge thought the sounded ‘honest’ so awarded them the 6 months notice as per their contract, despite the really vague wording and the fact DS was still 2 when I gave notice.

He also made me pay 50% of their solicitors fees, despite not being able to justify what they were actually for, and it was hundreds.

In the end I was ordered to pay them £1644
And I’m still angry about it.

I work in a nursery and tbh they're being rude. They should be used to it by now a lot of parents decide to put their child into council nurseries at 3 years old.

@ElementalIllusions omg! That’s crazy. I haven’t read their contract. I do t know if I can post it on here snd blur out the name? Not got it yet but will soon

@ElementalIllusions I would be so angry too! Did you put up a review to warn others? That is absolutely ridiculous behaviour. They obviously don’t care about the kids and just want to make money.

You sound perfectly reasonable and they sound like twats. Different nursery if at all possible.

[quote Anon2137]@ElementalIllusions I would be so angry too! Did you put up a review to warn others? That is absolutely ridiculous behaviour. They obviously don’t care about the kids and just want to make money.[/quote]
On definitely, I made the whole town fully aware, I posted about in anywhere and everywhere possible.

They then tried to take me to court for slander/liable, but everything I said was true so they didn’t have a case.

Apparently it’s not uncommon for the notice to change to a ‘term’ or half a term once they get the funding, as it’s paid per ‘school term’
But this nursery just took the piss with their notice period.

The only reason they won was because I was stupid enough not to query the contract before I signed it, the judge said the vague language was open to interpretation, but because I signed it I accepted what they interpreted it to be.

@ElementalIllusions I can see on the website the notice period is 4 weeks but I haven’t signed anything yet. I’ll check contract. Tbh I don’t think I had contract fir my daughter snd that was about 3 or 4 years ago.

So you didn’t mention the toilet training thing in the first post. The comment does make a bit more sense after reading that. I can see what they mean if you have told them how hard you have found potty training and they have done it in a week, now you have a second untrained child also about to start school nursery in a couple of months. It could look like that’s what your using the nursery for. However your still paying for the service so a little irrelevant but then they could turn down another child who will want a place for several years.

What do you do for childcare in the school holidays?

It does also sound as if you are using nursery to teach your DC to be toilet trained

I can see why they thought it, especially with the toilet training thing, but it was really unprofessional of them to say it. If they're really that concerned they don't have to offer you the place at all.

The thing is maybe I’ve over sold their help in toilet training. As DS not even started fully and he’s been better this week as I’ve told him his nursery friends use toilet. My DD only did 2 half days so maybe I’m giving them more praise than needs! I’m not worried about the lack of spaces do I.e. I’m taking up another child place as I know they desperate for people and have lots of availability. I know this by looking at other nurseries snd being told their only available days whereas here I had a choice of the days I wanted

Shall I be clear with them today on my second day of settling and say if I do get a nursery place I will be moving him? I only need to give 4 weeks notice.

I’m not very good at thinking of myself and feel guilty when I do but in this instance I think I need to put my child’s needs before a money making nursery that is after all a business not a charity - what go you guys think?

It makes sense for DS to start nursery now as I won’t have childcare and will need to leave my job if I don’t put him in now. Will also give him more confidence when he joins school nursery my DD already knew what to expect so didn’t cry and was really easy transition for us both

I wouldn't say anything until you get a place at the school nursery and I'm not sure why you would? You're not doing them a favour by telling them, they can't make plans or line up another child for the place or anything because it's only a maybe.

Though tbh I'd be a bit worried about a child that's not toilet trained in November starting in a setting where he must be fully trained in January - that's a lot of pressure on you both! But that's a separate issue.

I think you should be honest with them. They asked for more information on your intentions so give them more.

Honestly their plans are none of their business. They’re providing a service, as long as you pay for it and follow the appropriate notice, you’re fine. In no way it’s similar to a nanny situation earlier mentioned, for the nanny it’s the only stream of income so it’s a completely different scenario.

YOUR plans are none of their business…