To think ‘I didn’t think’…

[Ohshitiveturnedintomymother]

Might be the most rage making statement ever?

DH has just wrecked my gorgeous wool jumper by chucking it in the machine. It is now felted and shrunk. This is not the first jumper he has done this to.
On discovery he is apologetic and said ‘I didn’t realise it couldn’t go in, I didn’t think to check.’
It didn’t need washing, it wasn’t in the washing basket, it was in my suitcase from our holiday. DH took it upon himself to wash everything on return, which would be helpful if he’d checked what was dirty or clean first, or even checked the fucking label! Not to mention the outfit I’d planned to wear today also got washed when it didn’t need to so I had a massive panic trying to find something else to wear.

I feel like a bitch for being angry at him as he was being helpful, but he actually fucking wasn’t!

Not helped by the fact it was a £200 jumper I’d got in a charity shop for £10 and will never be able to replace.

I have now got said jumper soaking in conditioner in the vain hope it might unfelt and I can stretch it back to size but it will never be as soft and fluffy as it was.

Oh dear! I would be cross too. It is hard not to be even if the intentions were good.

Yep! I get it! My DH always says 'I thought I did it' when I point out he hasn't done something he was meant to, as if I'm imagining the bin wasn't put out/the dog wasn't walked/the kids haven't been fed

Yanbu. Dp decided to 'help' with laundry recently and dd1 long sleeved swimsuit rash vest thing will never be the same again. I got the bullshit 'I didn't know!!' Response. I was also fucking raging.

My DH is the opposite and asks so many fucking questions that I could brain him!!! Fuck me, engage brain!!! He holds down a pretty important job so I know he can do it, he just can't be arsed!

I'd be really bloody annoyed!!

My ex used to do shit like this all the time. Obvs we broke up for other reasons but his complete disregard for my belongings wasn't a a great quality

I feel I’m stuck between a rock abs a hard place because most of the time I’m fed but because he has no initiative and has to be spoon fed everything. Clearly this has now come back to bite me as he didn’t ask and now my jumper is spoiled. I just wish he could use his brain, I wasn’t born knowing how to wash clothes but I can think enough to check a label.

And we’d had a lovely day and now I feel I’ve spoilt it by sulking over my beautiful jumper

“I didn’t think…” is this most ridiculous thing to say. What does it even mean? Are the person so busy directing air traffic, or having profound philosophical thoughts that might bring peace and happiness unto humankind, that their brain had no space left to read a fucking label??

LTB.

@nicelyneurotic

LTB.

I’m sorely tempted

Yanbu
It’s funny how men apparently rule the world but at the same time are pretty good at acting stupid when it suits them
I’m sick of being some sort of question target. DH saw on our calendar “Weds DH collecting cousin from school”. He then asked me “am I collecting cousin from school Weds?” No it just says it for fun

Now I’m the bad guy because he’s apologised and I’m still angry. Doesn’t help I’m hungry as I’d been about to make supper when I discovered it and stropped off upstairs to try and fix the damage.
I’m stuck up here now while he’s in the cosy living room

“I didn’t think” =
My mummy/the fairies/my wife usually thinks for me

Tell him that a) that's not an apology and you're going to need a proper one and b) it's up to him to make it right and it's going to cost him quite a bit out of his personal spending money not family money.

My DH has never even emptied mine or the DCs suitcases and takes a good few weeks to empty his own so this is a WOW for me!

I’d be annoyed about the jumper tho. I think as he’s so amazing to empty a suitcase and wash the clothes, why isn’t he amazing enough to check the washing label

I’m still in awe that he emptied a suitcase and washed your clothes tho

I'd be asking him how he intended to replace it, to be honest. I'd find one (similar, at least) online and tell him to buy me another one.

@pinkstripeycat

My DH has never even emptied mine or the DCs suitcases and takes a good few weeks to empty his own so this is a WOW for me!

I’d be annoyed about the jumper tho. I think as he’s so amazing to empty a suitcase and wash the clothes, why isn’t he amazing enough to check the washing label

I’m still in awe that he emptied a suitcase and washed your clothes tho

But it isn’t a wow when it’s not actually helpful. It’s going in like a bull in a China shop without any consideration. I was more than happy to do my own stuff and the kids if needed, it could have waited til this evening when I’d finished running around after the kids all day. His ‘helpful’ gesture is anything but

The words "I didn't do it deliberately" and "I was only trying to help" will be on my husband's gravestone. I feel your pain.

I think it's best that he's in charge of absolutely all of the laundry from now on. He's already ruined the jumper. It's just not on that a grown man can't manage washing so he should take it over completely as he will get it right eventually.

I am sick to my back teeth of people producing this time after time after resolving to mend their ways and then forgetting the very next time that they need to do [X].

I have similar with DH. He does lots around the house, but never pauses to wonder why something is the way it is. So things I need get washed, stock ingredients im collecting get binned, a pot of seeds I was saving got binned....
I don't leave things half done or undone all the time, so keep your beak out and let me finish my job when I have time to do it properly. He'll even turn the oven down mid cook. It's infuriating, just assuming he knows what's what and im incompetent.

It's also a real denigration of traditionally female tasks. DH thinks he can cook, launder, clean etc 'cos anyone can. No recognition of the base level of knowledge and skill involved. Yes, skills and knowledge that everyone can and should acquire. Not something you can do without thought, attention or effort.

he has no initiative and has to be spoon fed everything

If he's employed and can keep a job for more than a few weeks, that absolutely is not the case. Do you think he routinely fucks up at work and makes 'I didn't think' excuses when called out on it?

DH has been told he’s not to do washing, ever ever ever. He did similar to me.