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Original poster

Was it so weird that I never had a boyfriend as a teenager?

27 replies

runacross · 07/11/2021 20:00

I was a very late bloomer, but I never started really worrying about it until my midtwenties. I'm turning 30 soon, and have finally met someone, but recently I can't stop thinking about my teenage years. I really don't understand why tbh.

OP posts:
TillyDevon · 07/11/2021 20:08

I don’t think weird at all.
I didn’t even know many boys in my teens to be honest - lived extremely rurally , girls boarding school. Didn’t matter at all.

PenCreed · 07/11/2021 20:10

It's not that weird - I only got my first boyfriend at 18 and then no-one for ages after we broke up! I have friends who didn't date anyone in their teens/early twenties at all. Some people will think it's weird, but everyone is different.

Rewis · 07/11/2021 20:10

Not weird. I know people talk about their teen romances. But most people in my social circles did not have relationships as teenagers.

Teeheehee1579 · 07/11/2021 20:10

Nope I didn’t either. First boyfriend when I went up uni.

Grenlei · 07/11/2021 20:14

I'm sure you'll get some people saying it's weird. Personally I'm more uncomfortable with Young teens getting into boyfriend / girlfriend relationships before they are necessarily emotionally equipped to deal with them.

I didn't have any teenage romances; I didn't feel I missed out though it's something people have felt obliged to comment upon (uninvited) as though I should somehow feel ashamed of it.

Life is varied, there are many choices and not just one way to be.

Longdistance · 07/11/2021 20:14

I didn’t. I went a bit wild in my 20’s. Lots of bf’s, ONS, treat them mean to keep them keen Blush
I didn’t have much confidence in my teens as my school was shit. I left and I met some fabulous and fun people and it just went from there.

Namenic · 07/11/2021 20:15

Went to single sex boarding school so not v weird. I guess I had a ‘boyfriend’ at 16 and went on 2 dates with him. I thought it would be easier at uni - maybe I went on a few dates (but nothing official). Met my husband at 24.

DrCoconut · 07/11/2021 20:17

I wasn't allowed as a young teen. My parents viewed having a boyfriend very much as a precursor to marriage and wouldn't allow it until I was 16. Even then they weren't keen.

BurntTheFuckOut · 07/11/2021 20:17

I didn’t either. In part because I had zero interest in boys, in part because I spent a good deal of my time consoling my friends after the latest shitty thing their boyfriends had done.

Teapot55 · 07/11/2021 20:18

I didn't and didn't kiss anyone until I was 21. Why do something just for the sake of it?

Smartiepants79 · 07/11/2021 20:19

I didn’t have what you’d call a real boyfriend til I was about 20.
A couple of friends who were boys who, with hindsight, would have liked to be in a relationship but I was extremely shy/inhibited/innocent (not quite the right words but close enough) and ran a mile when they showed real interest in changing the status quo between us.
I was more mature (obviously!) and worldly/brave at 20 and the man (my now DH) was more persistent and patient!! He allowed me the time to slowly fall in love with him and find the trust to be in that vulnerable place a relationship puts you in.

switswoo81 · 07/11/2021 20:20

I didn't either. Didn't have a boyfriend till 25, and I married him. Had a fantastic group if female friends. ( all girls school) whom I am still so close too in my 40's.

Odile13 · 07/11/2021 20:22

I didn’t have a boyfriend until my 20s. As a teen I used to think I was weird but looking back on it I think it was actually excellent for me as a person. I studied, worked, developed interests and when I was ready I went looking for relationships. I quite like the term ‘late bloomer’ actually. Nothing wrong with that!

Original poster
runacross · 07/11/2021 20:29

I definitely remember that some kids were doing the relationship/ dating thing and others were like me. I don’t know why I’ve been so stuck on it recently! Thanks though.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 07/11/2021 20:40

It's not weird, lots of teens don't get to actual relationships, a fair few don't get to much action, if any, come to that..

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 07/11/2021 20:50

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TheNinny · 07/11/2021 20:53

I held hands/kissed a few different boys in high school and dated casually (1 sexual partner off and on) in uni. but never had an official boyfriend until I met my DH at 27. I had close male friends though and in certain cultures (like the American south where I studied) just hanging out 1:1 means it’s a date. Any more and you can say you dated. I was a bit oblivious to this though and was surprised to hear guys say we had dated 😑

HaroldSteptoesHorse · 07/11/2021 20:58

I went to 3 parties at 16, everyone who got off with a boy went into a relationship with them…not me

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 07/11/2021 20:58

To have a teenage boyfriend or girlfriend is not strange, weird or ‘uncomfortable’ (despite some of the earlier comments).

By the same token, the absence of a teenage boyfriend or girlfriend is not strange, weird or ‘uncomfortable’ (despite some earlier comments).

Some teens fall in love. Some don’t. Neither is right or wrong.

ZZGirl · 07/11/2021 21:05

Old friend of mine got her first boyfriend 2/3 years ago at 28. It happens when it happens

IStoppedBelieving · 07/11/2021 21:10

I don’t think that’s weird.
But that been said, I’m 35 and still have never had a boy/girlfriend, so I’m not the best to judge…

LobsterNapkin · 07/11/2021 21:28

No, I think it's a lot more common tan people realize. Even 30 years ago, it was common. It seems to be more common now.

And lots of kids who did have a bf or gf weren't doing much other than kissing. A few didn't really even do that.

Opal93 · 07/11/2021 21:44

Not weird at all! In fact one of my biggest regrets about my teen years is bothering with stupid relationships and wasting so much time worrying about them.

Buzzinwithbez · 07/11/2021 21:55

I remember wanting someone special to spend time with, but not finding teenage boys at all attractive. I started dating my first boyfriend because I felt I was getting a bit old to have not had a boyfriend and other girls found him attractive but I had no idea of he was or not. On getting to know him, he became attractive to me.
I realised I really have to know people first to be interested.

ComDummings · 07/11/2021 22:00

I didn’t either, at the time some family members definitely thought I was weird and told me so. I thought they were weird for even caring about what I was up to. I didn’t have more than a fling until I was in my early 20s. At the time while I did want a boyfriend I just didn’t like any boys I met Grin.