For getting a cleaner?

[OhLilLady]

I’ve just let slip to my Mum that I’ve hired a cleaner to start next week and she’s gone mental. For context I live in a two bed, two bathroom flat with DP and no kids.

I WFH and DP works shift work in the public sector. I have a chronic illness and when it flares up I do struggle to keep on top of things so it does sometimes end up all falling on DP. WFH has made me really aware of my environment and if I don’t have times to tidy/don’t feel well enough I feel it having a knock on effect on my mental health because I’m just in it all day.

My Mum said cleaners are for people with kids and big houses not in flats and I’m being lazy. So AIBU for getting a cleaner and would you judge me as lazy if you found out I had one? I’m a little worried of what other people would think if this is my Mums opinion.

YANBU. Do what you can to cope. Its no one elses business

Which other people and why do you care what they think? You aren't really going to deny something that makes your life easier because your mum is small minded and out of touch with the world are you?

Crack on with doing you

No one else's business. I have a cleaner and I live on my own. Tell your mother to lay off.

If it helps you and you can afford it, why not? It also gives somebody a job. You don't need to feel guilty or lazy. Good luck!

You haven't time or energy to do something so you are paying a professional to do it for you. The fact that it's a cleaner is no different to employing anyone else.

We have a cleaner, 2 bed flat, no kids. It’s so so worth it as we both work long hours and quite frankly dislike cleaning. No judgement at all from me!

So does your mum want you to be in more pain, by doing tasks you can out source??

So in her unasked for (presumably) opinión are there no cases where single people 'allowed' a cleaner?

She's maaaad!

I know plenty of able bodied singletons who have cleaners... They don't want to do it, for whatever reason, so they pay others.

Seriously stuff what others think... They're not living your life, or have your pain...

Time to set some boundaries with your mum. Or do you criticise her choices? I assume she knows about your chronic illness?
‘You were completely out of order criticising our decision to get help. You know about my lupus (or whatever) and getting help will make a big difference with us both working to have comfy home.’

I had my own business cleaning . Gave it up as the pandemic hit . I went to flats , houses, small, houses , big flats , a massive bungalow. One fella was home all day , his house was immaculate, and one took me 3 hours a time as the dog hair !!
Theres all sorts out there that need a cleaner , I never asked why , obviously everyone had a reason
Tell her to lay off
I had my own business and often am so busy I wondered about getting a cleaner myself which sounds nuts , but it would help as I dont want to clean my own house and just want to sit down when I get in

YANBU. If you can afford a cleaner and it helps you - do it! Ignore your mum - suggest if she is that offended she can come round and do it instead 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ xx

I might think it was a bit of an odd choice to spend money on a cleaner in your circumstances, but I totally believe it is up to each of us to choose what luxuries we have in our lives, and what we spend our 'treat money' on.
If you can afford it, and it makes you happy, what has it got to do with anyone else ?

Some people are so obsessed with being 'lazy' but if you can afford to pay someone to do something you can't easily or just don't want to do, then why on earth not? Why purposefully make life more difficult for yourself?

I'm proud to be lazy as it gives me time to do stuff I want to do

It’s literally no one else’s business. Have your cleaner and tell her to bugger off.

There’s a strange kind of bizarre competitive housework nonsense between some women and I’ve got zero energy for it.

Do what you want to make your life better.

If I could afford one, I definitely would. And I don’t have health conditions preventing me physically from doing it either, just knackered when I get in! Go for it.

Are you asking your Mom to pay for it? If not what right has she got to berate you like an errant child spending your picket money on sweeties!

Do whatever you want. I’ve had a cleaner since I was living alone and single and now married with DS and still have one. It’s because I hate cleaning, would rather do other things with my time and I love a clean house. So a cleaner suits me.

Thank you for the replies, it’s making me feel a little better! Definitely not being funded by my Mum haha.

She knows about my health yes. It only came up in convo because I told her I was at the pain clinic next week and a cleaner was starting so I was hoping that would take a bit of stress off and that’s when she went mad. I guess I’m just worried about her repeating it to family and her friends and them judging me which I know is stupid. I didn’t really expect her reaction which is what has thrown me off.

You do you!

I think it's very smart and a clean home can have massive positive benefits to mental health. Plus if you pay your cleaner well, it's ensuring someone has a living wage. Win-win!

My mum positively encouraged me to get a cleaner and I don't have a chronic illness! I'd go for it you will never regret it in my experience. Nothing better than coming home to find your home smelling "cleaner fresh".

YANBU in the slightest. I have chronic issues too and would struggle to keep on top of housework without my cleaner. None of your mum's business.

Your mum is a basket case. Stop holding her opinion in any high regard!

@PooWillyNameChange

Your mum is a basket case. Stop holding her opinion in any high regard!

PS I've just googled basket case as it suddenly occured to me I didnt know the etymology and seems it's horribly offensive - you get my drift, she is ridiculous!

Yanbu totally up to you what you spend your money on

I work as a cleaner.some women get a cleaner as a treat for themselves(I mean for cleaning).You get a cleaner if you want to,its non of your mums business.You will give someone an income/ food on the table.

I think it's such a weird thing to get upset about, if your mum is so concerned about you wasting money then she could offer to clean your house for free maybe?