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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want the computer upstairs out the way?

38 replies

SweetMaryHell · 07/11/2021 13:19

We have a 4 bedroomed house and it’s just me and DH living in it. So 3 spare bedrooms. I’ve turned one of them into an arts and crafts room for myself so that leaves us with 2 spare bedrooms. A double and a single.
DH insists on his scruffy computer being in the dining room. None of us matches, the monitor is fucking massive, it has two massive separate speakers and a separate scruffy looking bass speaker - again massive. The computer desk is littered with wires and just general shite. It’s an eyesore. I want to have a nice dining room!! With a table and plants, bookshelf etc but no it’s just a junk room.

I’ve said numerous times I want it moved. He could turn the little bedroom upstairs into his own little office! Then I wouldn’t care, out of sight, out of mind but he’s refusing!

Icing on the cake, I’ve just been up to the spare double room to find another bastard computer all set up on the floor. It’s beyond ridiculous and it’s doing my fucking head in.

OP posts:

skybluee · 07/11/2021 13:28

I think it's reasonable to have it in the lounge but he should tidy it up as much as possible. There's no reason for it to be looking like rubbish.

PearlclutchersInc · 07/11/2021 13:33

sky why is it reasonable to have it in the dining room if there's other room's he could use as a dedicated space?

RandomUsernameHere · 07/11/2021 13:40

YANBU! With the luxury of all that space, I can't see any reason not to do what you're suggesting. What are his reasons for wanting it downstairs?

GoodnightGrandma · 07/11/2021 13:43

I wouldn’t want tolook at that . Upstairs office it is.

Bonbon21 · 07/11/2021 13:44

I would be bringing my arts and crafts into the dining room... the sitting room... the kitchen... the spare bedrooms.. thebedroom...spread the love..
See how he likes it...
I agree.. all that space... then he can have as much IT as he likes ..CONTAINED..

Original poster

SweetMaryHell · 07/11/2021 13:52

It’s a massive mess, I hate it. The small bedroom upstairs is literally unused! It’s just sat there waiting for a purpose.

OP posts:

MurielSpriggs · 07/11/2021 13:55

It depends a bit upon what he uses it for, how often, and whether you like his company. He might end up spending all his leisure time in the box room upstairs (which might be what you want!)

Oh, and remember the Mumsnet wisdom that all men only go on computers for porn, sex, prostitutes and propositioning co-workers and anyone female they can find on Facebook. He needs to be watched like a hawk. Can't do that if he's locked upstairs

Ellmau · 07/11/2021 14:15

Where do you eat?

coconutpie · 07/11/2021 14:18

YANBU. I would tell him either the PC goes upstairs into one of the spare bedrooms or out in the shed. No bloody way it should be in the dining room!

NoSquirrels · 07/11/2021 14:21

What does he use it for, and how often? What are his reasons for not wanting to put it upstairs?

AlbertBridge · 07/11/2021 14:22

Why does he have to have the smallest bedroom for a "little" office? He probably feels like he doesn't want to be fobbed off into the box room.

Is there any other option - garden office?

FangsForTheMemory · 07/11/2021 14:24

Tell him either the computer moves into the spare room or you will?

Pinkdelight3 · 07/11/2021 14:29

I don't think computers have to be stashed away upstairs in this day and age. They're such a big part of life. Fair enough not to have it in the lounge but I'd be fine having it in the dining room and assume as it's just the two of you, it's not really needed as a full-time dining room with nothing else going on in there. Honestly it's his home too so I don't see why he should retreat to the small bedroom just because you have a bee in your bonnet about IT being unsightly and inferior to your books and plants. I turned a small bedroom into an office once and did FA work in there because it felt really hemmed in and oppressive and I'd have to sequester myself in there to do anything, whereas if it's downstairs and part of life in the house it's much more appealing, useful and productive. We've got laptops, consoles and all manner of tech in our back room and it feels part of modern life. Others will disagree but for me YABU. Enjoy your lounge and your crafting room and let him have his computing spaces. At least it's not motorbike bits or somesuch!

Pinkdelight3 · 07/11/2021 14:33

I also think it's not especially relevant that you've got too many bedrooms. Just because you got a house that's too big for you and rooms are left purposeless, doesn't mean he can't have a PC downstairs.

BasiliskStare · 07/11/2021 14:33

Could you give him the big spare room ?

We have a ( desk top ) computer downstairs but one of those apple ones which looks quite smart and no wires - a computer for more intensive things may not be able to be like that.

Pinkdelight3 · 07/11/2021 14:34

And dining rooms are becoming less relevant these days now that lots of people prefer to dine in their kitchens, so there's that too.

Original poster

SweetMaryHell · 07/11/2021 14:37

I wouldn’t be so bothered if it wasn’t so unsightly

He could have the double room, I really don’t care! I just want it out of sight

He uses it for gaming, nothing else

OP posts:

MrzClaus · 07/11/2021 14:37

Definitely not BU! I'm the same, I like our home to look nice all of the time - including no unnecessary random clutter, that sort of eyesore would annoy me too.

Could he have the double room changed into a gaming / PC / whatever he wants room? We're a two person family in a four bed house too, but with a separate study (small ish!). My DP has a double room as his "office room" just to give him more space. A double desk for all the computer rubbish, a sofa and tv for games, a few sets of golf clubs on display etc. The walls are covered in his collection of golf things and random bits and bobs! I have a similar room for all my rubbish and hair / makeup / jazzy bits.

Then the downstairs is always calm, clean and clear. It feels like shared relaxing space, rather than cluttered multi purpose rooms!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/11/2021 15:23

It would annoy me too, it's not like you don't have anywhere else to put it.

I have a laptop that lives in a cupboard when not in use, so probably not the best person to comment!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/11/2021 15:27

WHY does he not want to move it? Have you asked him?

coodawoodashooda · 07/11/2021 15:27

One if the best things about getting rid of my xh was getting rid of the computer crap. Not joking. Id suggest your h is being controlling.

Cantfindausernamethatsnottaken · 07/11/2021 15:28

Just move it all upstairs yourself if you are able.If you want,make it comfy for him,like a man cave where he can make it messy if he wants without you having to see it.Could put a mini fridge too.I did that for my son and he likes it.

Chocolatewheatos · 07/11/2021 15:31

Move it. It's not just the eyesore element but gaming with big speakers in the dining room is just annoying. You each have a room upstairs to do what you want, the communal space is kept tidy.

Cherrysoup · 07/11/2021 15:32

Why is he refusing? No way would I want a computer downstairs, particularly if there are rooms available upstairs!

NoSquirrels · 07/11/2021 15:51

So why doesn’t he want to move it? What’s his reasoning?

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