To ask what time your DCs go to bed and whether that’s early enough

[Lucycantdance]

My DC7 and DC5 go to bed around 7pm. But sometimes have a later night on the weekend so Sunday night can even be as early as 6.30pm. They fall asleep quickly. DC7 wakes up at crack of dawn at 6am-7am no matter what - even if he went to bed at midnight it wouldn’t matter. He’s always needed loads of sleep. DC5 can cope a bit better.

Someone made me feel like a bit of a cruel DM the other night for these bedtimes - their DCs stay up a lot later. In fact on Sunday nights in summer their DC5s are still out playing gone 7pm.

I don’t feel insecure in any way about it. Mine just cannot cope with late nights especially before school. To be fair I go to bed at 9pm ish! But I’m just intrigued about what the range is for other children?

at that age dc were in bed by 8, lights out by 9.

but if what you do works for them, they are healthy, happy, alert, then that's great and I wouldn't change it.

Ds is 18 months . Bed around 8/8.30pm, wakes 6am. Has 1-2 hr nap in day. So 11-12hrs sleep per day. He doesn’t seem to need anymore.

Almost 5 year old twins here, your bedtime situation is exactly the same as ours... Too many late ( after 730pm!) nights and they are severely tired as they wake up approx 6/630 whatever.

We aim for half 6 with my 3 year old. He's generally asleep by 7. Sometimes he will stay up a bit later - on a Friday night we have a family movie night for example. He can cope with the odd later night if we are at a party say, but will ask to go to bed when he's tired.

Wakes at 5.45 pretty consistently at the moment, even though he's had a few bad nights. I ak not a morning person and this is not what I ordered

Dd3 is 8 and goes 8-8.30 on weekdays
Dd4 is 4 and goes at 7.

I do relax it at weekends and yes in summer we are often still at the beach at 7pm!

Mine are 19 and 21 and at uni now... eldest texts for a chat at 5.30am... she's on her way home after a night out, I'm getting up (menopause).

When they were young we were "that family" ... we allowed them to just go to bed when tired. No routines for us. They were fine, both doing well in life in general and at uni.

Do what is best for you and your kids. We had family with health problems and travelled round the country to them a lot. Routines and set bedtimes did not fit our lifestyle.

Mine were in bed for 7 until they got to about 9 then they started to self regulate but we’re rarely awake past 9.
They are adults now and my oldest is usually up until midnight but doesn’t start work until 11 so sleeps until 9ish. The other is in bed by 10 but leaves for work at 7 so they both get approximately the same amount of sleep.

Mine are (just) 6 and almost 2. The younger one goes up at 1900, usually asleep by 1915. The older one goes up by 1930 at the latest and is usually asleep before 2000. They start the day anywhere from 0645 onwards.

DC1 is almost incapable of sleeping in and tends towards less than great behaviour when overtired which has taken years for the grandparents to actually understand.

@rrhuth

Someone made me feel like a bit of a cruel DM the other night for these bedtimes - their DCs stay up a lot later.

Ignore ignore ignore. They are being ridiculous.

Good quality sleep is vital for health and learning. One of the best things you can do for you kids is encourage healthy sleep, it is as important as nutrition.

'cruel'

You be know that other countries and where I am from Mediterranean we went to bed later as kids and they still do now. In fact bedtime here in U.K. is so early yet I’ve seen no evidence of healthier kids in fact quite the opposite mostly and sadly. As a child it’s common to stay up until 11 in the summer and even 8-9 school nights where I am from and we we were all do well 😁

I’m going to go against the grain and say 6:30 is crazy early for a 7 year old!
One of my children is 5 and he plays football twice a week on a team of 5-7 year olds, it’s part of a league, which doesn’t finish till 7pm so I would say it’s not as common as this thread says either

During summer months we’re usually not even home at 8pm, bonfire night we didn’t get home until 9, we went to a Halloween party we didn’t even leave until 9:30, and weekends we often have movie nights or game nights with family that can go on until 9 & 10pm!
I would feel like we had very little family time if the kids were in bed by 6:30

There seems to be a bit of a ‘who’s child can go to bed the earliest’ competition going on on this thread - children of 14 & 15 going to bed at 8 & 9pm! I find that odd, don’t their friends comment to them? When I was 14 mine and most of my friends curfews were 10pm and some of your teenagers are asleep by 8?!

DS almost 13 - 9.45 lights out on school night. 10.45 lights out Fri/Sat. He sleeps until 7.20 in the week. Obviously he’s up earlier at the weekend . He went for years waking up at 5.30 latest no matter what time he went to bed - it was torture but he did eventually sleep in later. He was never tired during the day though and his school work never suffered. Some hope for parents of early risers.

6.30 is way too early for a 7yo imo. My 2yo doesn't go up til 8!

After dinner and homework, where is the family time/down time?

Logistically (with after school activities etc) such an early bedtime would be quite limiting to us.

By 11yo my DC self regulate. Youngest DD is now 11 and getting quite good at figuring out her sleep pattern.

Children are different and may have different schedules eg earlier starts/later pick-ups which will account for some variance.

My 5yo is an owl. I say goodnight by 8.15 but she will often play a bit longer if she’s not tired. It’s rare she’ll conk out straight away. She’s generally up at 7.30. If I needed her up earlier I’d need to bring bedtime earlier. My 2yo has to be down by 7 and she’s generally up between 6.30 and 7. I wouldn’t ever take her out for an evening meal as she’d be heinous and can’t cope at all with stretching bedtime later. I’ll be interested to see if she ends up like her sister or will always need an earlier bedtime,

My 8 year old was in bed at 7pm weekends and weekdays up until last year . Like yours , if she went at midnight she would still be up at 6.30am! Bedtime is now 8pm weekdays and 8.30 weekends . Still up at 6.30am every morning .

3 year old goes at 7pm weekdays and 8pm weekends . She’s completely different though in that she will sleep on in the morning !

DS 5 goes up at 6:30 and is asleep within 10 minutes Sunday to Thursday. He has to be woken for school at 7:30.

Weekends we’re a bit flexible but Fridays he is so knackered from the week it’s usually 6:30 latest anyway. Last night was 7:15 as we went to the fireworks and he had to be woken for Rugby at 9.

8:15 not 7:15!

Ds 7 goes to bed around 7.30 to 8 on a school night to be up for 7.30.
On a weekend it's around 9pm and he wakes up around 8am.Works for us as who wants to be woken up at 7am on a weekend which is what would happen if he had an early weekend bedtime

@anon2334 , we spend months in a mediterranean country every year and go with the flow so dcs stay up late and we go out etc etc..despite this they get up early and earlier as the weeks go by.. They are told to go back to bed if it has a 5 in it but they.don't.ever.catch.up and end up becoming more and more overtired and sleep less over time and end up getting cranky and irritable. Overall we are pretty relaxed about routine and have travelled loads when dcs where tiny too, one thing is consistent though, our dcs never, ever sleep in..

It depends on the kids , some will catch up and adapt easily, some won't no matter what and the consequences are cranky, irritable dcs all day. It's nothing to do with parenting or how "relaxed" your routine is.

7 year old at 8.30, usually asleep around 9pm, doesn’t need to get up before 7.30am for school. We’re all fairly late people here - I don’t get home from work before 7/7.30pm so couldn’t get him to bed earlier than he currently does anyway

Different children are different, we have one early riser and one night owl. They are 5 and 3; we go up to start bathtime/bedtime at 7pm, the early riser is the older one so goes to sleep earlier! The 5 year old is asleep a bit before 8pm and 3 year old a bit after 8pm and we all get up at 7am. Do what works for you and your family.

On winter and school nights my kids were always bathed, read to and lights out at 7.30 at that age. Summer weekends and holidays I always let them have an extra half hour to an hour playing out time though.

I think the trickiest thing with a super early bedtime is dinner, homework, freetime, activities. I wouldn’t want to eat that early, and once school age with after school activities eating at 4.30/5pm for 6/6.30pm bedtime must be a challenge.

A local little gym class for children here I was looking at the other day. 2-4 year olds is 5.15-6pm, 4-6 year olds 6.15-7pm. 6-8 year olds 7.15-8pm.

@Caspianberg

I think the trickiest thing with a super early bedtime is dinner, homework, freetime, activities. I wouldn’t want to eat that early, and once school age with after school activities eating at 4.30/5pm for 6/6.30pm bedtime must be a challenge.

A local little gym class for children here I was looking at the other day. 2-4 year olds is 5.15-6pm, 4-6 year olds 6.15-7pm. 6-8 year olds 7.15-8pm.

It’s really tricky and quite often it’s dinner bed, but if we don’t get him down early enough we get tantrums and overtired refusal to sleep.

DS3 goes to bed at 6.30ish most nights. He sleeps through until 7 or 8. He just likes his sleep! And having an evening without DCs really helps is to get stuff done and decompress. DD1 is a work in progress.