To ask what time your DCs go to bed and whether that’s early enough

[Lucycantdance]

My DC7 and DC5 go to bed around 7pm. But sometimes have a later night on the weekend so Sunday night can even be as early as 6.30pm. They fall asleep quickly. DC7 wakes up at crack of dawn at 6am-7am no matter what - even if he went to bed at midnight it wouldn’t matter. He’s always needed loads of sleep. DC5 can cope a bit better.

Someone made me feel like a bit of a cruel DM the other night for these bedtimes - their DCs stay up a lot later. In fact on Sunday nights in summer their DC5s are still out playing gone 7pm.

I don’t feel insecure in any way about it. Mine just cannot cope with late nights especially before school. To be fair I go to bed at 9pm ish! But I’m just intrigued about what the range is for other children?

@Plotato

Kids need lots of sleep

some kids need lots of sleep

Most kids. There will be some outliers of course.

Nhs advice on how much sleep children need. It would be quite unusual to need much less or more than these ranges.

Babies 4 to 12 months old
• 12 to 16 hours including naps

Toddlers 1 to 2 years old
• 11 to 14 hours including naps

Children 3 to 5 years old
• 10 to 13 hours including naps
Children 6 to 12 years old
• 9 to 12 hours
Teenagers 13 to 18 years old
• 8 to 10 hours

5yo goes to bed between 7.30 and 8. Wakes around 6.30. 2yo does the same plus a nap, so works well. Some nights we get home 5.45 and need dinner, so couldn't manage much earlier anyway.

DS3 goes at 7pm and wakes at around 7am. DS7 goes up at 7pm but is allowed to read until 8pm. It's good to differentiate between him and his bro a bit.

5 year old goes up at 8 and asleep at 8.30. up between 7-7.30. she's been doing that since 2. No point trying eariler as it doesn't work. Every child is different. You find what works for you. Some need more sleep than others. I've a friend who's 5 year old goes at 10 and up at 5.....she tried everything to get him down by 8 but he just not ready. He active child and never falls asleep during the day.

All of my DC had 7pm bedtimes at that age, both for them to get enough sleep and for me to have some evening to myself.
My youngest is now 9 and generally goes to bed at 8.30 on a school night and 9 at weekends. I do have to wake her up most days but getting her to bed any earlier is too much of a battle.

The baby sleeps by 6 wakes up by 5.
The 3 and a half sleeps by 6.30 and wakes by 6, but can keep sleeping until 10 if I let her. She’s at full time school nursery so does the same hours as other school children.
The 5 and a half is alseep just before 7 and will wake up by 6.

We wake by as I have to go to work and they cycle to school with me. Takes 45 minutes.

At that age DD was asleep by 8pm, earlier was impossible with working parents and not home before 6pm, then dinner, homework, winding down.

If necessary she would catch up on the weekend when she took herself to have a nap.

She is now 14 and bedtime is around 9pm but she gets up at 6am, so the 9hours sleep is necessary.

3 year old at 6.45-7pm. 6 month old 7.30pm.

My 4 year old goes to bed at 7/7.30- depending on the day and the next. She’s literally out like a light and up between 5.45-6.15 every day- my friends whose kids go to bed much later are shocked and say I should push it - but waking up at 7.30 doesn’t gain me anything, but my evening is precious!

My son is 6 and is generally asleep by 7:15, on a friday and saturday he is allowed to stay up a bit later. He wakes up at about 7:30 in the week, he was asleep by about 8:30 last night, he isn’t awake yet, bliss.

If it works for you and your dcs that is the main thing. I have 3 dcs and although the eldest is 10 they have never in their lives slept past 7.30. I ALWAYS hear on mn how dcs in parts of southern Europe go to bed later and get up later etc etc. We have a lot of family in Spain and France and go there all the time for long periods , we often go when its hot and keep the dcs up later, no matter what they still don't sleep later than 7.30, latest 8, this would be weeks of late nights. This summer was v hot and my dcs went to bed late snd actually started tp wake earlier and earlier..
It doesn't always work that dcs will sleep later if they go to bed late. Drives me mad as I have felt pressure to just relax and keep them up later and I do in summer and for weeks at a time but end up with cranky kids waking up earlier and earlier.. So do whatever works for you op.

My 4 year old is on bed for 6.30pm to be asleep by 7pm
My 7 year old goes to bed at 7pm (shares a room with the 4 year old)
My 9 year old goes up at 7.30pm, lights off at 8pm (he is more flexible on a weekend but not by much - he went to bed at 8.15 yesterday but lights off straight away)

They are early to bed but early to rise. The need their sleep do so they go early!

Ds aged 5 is in bed by 7, ds aged 1 is half 6. Neither would cope with a later bedtime. And I love having an evening. It won’t be forever, I’m sure the older they get the later it will be. All the time they are happy to go to bed at that time, it’s fine. The more sleep kids get, the happier they are and the better they will get on at school.

DS's 6 and 3 both go to bed at 7pm here (3 year old a bit earlier sometimes) and wake up between 5.30 and 6, always been early risers as mornings are chaotic so the wake up time isn't an issue. I have been trying to push my 6 year olds bedtime slightly as he is starting to wake up earlier and be a bit tired at school but they are both autistic and very rigid in their routine so it's not easy!

8&10 yo...8pm. Been that for past 18months

We adjust it as they need it. When eldest DD was four, it was 6pm. School started however at 7.30am!

My older two are 5 and 4. I take them upstairs at 7pm for a bath, brush teeth, storytime and then in bed for 7.30pm. They usually fall asleep very quickly once in bed. They wake between 6am and 7am.

Surely it depends on what time you get in from work, for those of you that do unless the other parent is present? I couldn't do it any earlier as I sometimes finish work at 6pm and depending on where I work could have an hours commute.

@Abitlost2

If it works for you and your dcs that is the main thing. I have 3 dcs and although the eldest is 10 they have never in their lives slept past 7.30. I ALWAYS hear on mn how dcs in parts of southern Europe go to bed later and get up later etc etc. We have a lot of family in Spain and France and go there all the time for long periods , we often go when its hot and keep the dcs up later, no matter what they still don't sleep later than 7.30, latest 8, this would be weeks of late nights. This summer was v hot and my dcs went to bed late snd actually started tp wake earlier and earlier.. It doesn't always work that dcs will sleep later if they go to bed late. Drives me mad as I have felt pressure to just relax and keep them up later and I do in summer and for weeks at a time but end up with cranky kids waking up earlier and earlier.. So do whatever works for you op.

This is 100% my family. My kids don’t sleep in no matter what - the more overtired, the earlier they wake.

My 7yo goes to sleep around 8. 9yo around 9. They go up to bed about 7:30 and will read before they go to sleep. Up between 6:30 & 7:30.

My children get up at 7:30am (my rule not there's. Perhaps I'm cruel but they aren't allowed up until their growclock tells them to at 7:30am)

Bedtime is roughly 7:30-7:40.

Age 3 and 4

9 months, 2 year old and 5 year old. Bedtime is 8.30-9pm, always has been. For them any earlier results in a nap and up to start the day at 9-10pm. They wake anything from 6.30am (thanks day light saving) and 9am

Dc aged 6 &4. Pre covid used to be in bed by 6.30pm but would wake 5am. Later than 6.30pm they would become hyperactive, emotional, poor behaviour and take hours to get to bed.

Lockdown completely messed up bed time. They just weren't active enough even with long daily walks. Bedtime crept up to 9pm sometimes 10pm. Now it falls around 8pm in bedroom but 6yo will still be awake reading until 10pm somenights. I think both need more sleep but cannot get them to sleep earlier!!

Stick with what works for you.

We were considered ‘strict’ parents about bedtime by most people’s standards and they had ‘bedtimes’ (and no gadgets upstairs) right up to the end of Y11.

However, how much actual sleep they got I’ve no idea. They could read from as long as they wanted from secondary school upwards.

Roughly speaking:

3months - Y2 7pm
Y3 - Y5 7:30pm
Y6 8pm
Y7 - 8 8:30pm
Y9 9pm
Y10 9:30pm
Y11 10pm

That was term time. Much more relaxed during the holidays as they got older but fairly consistent during the primary school years.

My pre-school and primary school kids all went at 8pm.

It doesn't matter what other people do. They are your children and you're doing what you think is right for them. Carry on.