AIBU to think I should still be able to go out wear whatever I want even though I’m married?

[Opal93]

For haloween last week me and my best friend dressed up in skimpy dresses. I had two kids very close together and I don’t mean to sound arrogant but my body isn’t bad considering I’ve had kids (well I never show off my tummy!) and I figured I should make the most of it. I feel comfortable and attractive in the clothes but don’t wear them for sexual attention. I find men usually don’t approach me but if they do they quickly back off when I make it clear I’m not interested. We had a great night out and my husband was fine with it, the only thing he asks is that I text to let him know I’m safe etc. But he and I are ALWAYS asked a ton of questions by colleagues, family members, friends because I go out. “ is your oh OK with you wearing THAT?” “Are you sure he doesn’t mind you going out dressed like that” “how can you be sure guys aren’t all over her” and AIBU to feel a bit disappointed that in 2021 people still have this attitude that married women should “cover up”. He responds by saying he doesn’t care he thinks I look good and he trusts me. AIBU to feel that dressing a certain way and not going out just because you are married is unhealthy? Nothing wrong with it if you were never into it in the first place/or genuinely aren’t anymore but I do enjoy a drink and a dance with my girlfriends and I don’t want that to stop just because I’m married. We only go out every few months so it’s not even like it’s all the time.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I doubt anyone gives a shit, much less quizzes you on it.

This

Seriously? You go out dressed as a Sexy Zombie Cheerleader and there’s a chorus of aggrieved questions from literally everyone you know about whether your husband minds?

Maybe stop posting selfies, given your circle appears to have been born about 1850.

How do they even know what you’re wearing?

I’ve never heard someone describe their own clothes as ‘skimpy’. When it’s used to describe clothes clothes it’s loaded with judgement.

Maybe they are jealous / think it doesn’t suit you / don’t like seeing women’s knickers and tops of their nipples. Who knows, who cares? You do you.

@Rainbowheart1

Or 4, way too old and looks ridiculous but everyone is too polite to say so goes about it via the husband route.

This was my first thought...

Or not necessarily old, just inappropriate for the place. Eg there is a girl.at work in her twenties who wears "skimpy" outfits to works nights out. Which are invariably a meal then perhaps a drink in a real ale pub before home. She turns up in stilettos, extremely short bodycon dresses (needs to ask me to walk behind her up the stairs short) and very heavy make up. It looks ridiculous because it doesn't suit the occasion. Half of me thinks she should be able wear whatever she likes, but the other half cringes for her when I hear the sleazy comments from men or other people in our group saying "what is she wearing?!"

Wear what you like. I’m surprised anyone would ask about it. Do they really?

Are these people seeing the pics on social media? If so I'd limit who sees your FB post or just don't post anything at all. Then you don't have an issue.

How do these people know what you're wearing,and why would so many people even care enough to ask/comment?

This is odd....

This used to happen to me when I got married in my early 20s and went out wearing what all the other young women were wearing but my husband would get asked if he minded what I was wearing. Some really backwards views out there.

What @MollysDolly @Rainbowheart1 and @Ifailed said.

Your friends, colleagues and family always make unfavourable comments . Don't the neighbours get a look-in

1. No, marriage shouldn't affect what you wear. I suspect you know that. Which leads to...

1. This is an epic humblebrag. 'Ooh, I'm just soooo gorgeous that my husband's friends ask how he could even let me out of the house looking so bloody great'. 🙄

Is it your DH reporting back that people have said these things? It's hugely unlikely that this would happen regularly, unless you're dressed particularly badly and people are trying to hint (even then...).

Why are the same people always making the same comments? That seems strange unless you're missing massive hints.

Of course you can wear what you want but I can't imagine an outfit where your stomach is out unless you're just in a bra.

Tons of questions from friends and neighbours? Really ? Have they nothing better to do than wait for you to go out " every few months " ?

What on earth must you be wearing for tons of people to a) notice b) care and c) bother to ask you and your husband about it?
It just doesn't sound very true.

What nonsense.

Late night post. Hit and run. Hoping to wake up to lots of you go girl posts I suspect.

I think you should cover up a bit whether you're married or not. I guarantee you don't look as good as you assume.

This is weird. Who is asking you? Under what circumstances? I go out a lot, my husband and I have pretty separate lives, and I always dress to look nice, I can't imagine at what point in proceedings people would comment, especially to my husband? Who sees you and then reports back to him?
Of course being married bears no relevance on what you can wear. It sounds like you live in a very weird small minded neighborhood OP I'd get the hell out lol

1. you must know lots of weird people.
2. stop posting self-absorbed photos on social media (I'm assuming you must do this otherwise how would they know).
3. maybe you are just too old and look comical and they don't want to say anything. I discovered that my teenage sons and all their friends used to regularly take the piss out of my late 30s friend for what she wore. Yes she looked good. But apparently it was the stuff of misogynistic comedy movies.
4. you really do know you can wear what the fuck you like. You do you. No one really gives a shit unless they are the people from 1).

YANBU to wear whatever you like and feel comfortable with; and people shouldn't be pressing and questioning you about it. Are you getting these questions from people who come with you on these evenings out; or does it come from social media? If the latter, maybe you should reduce the amount of detail about your life that you post on social media, or at least put tighter restrictions on who can see it.

I’m curious as to what you’re actually wearing if you’ve had that many comments about what your husband thinks tbh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of my friends on a night out and pondered what their other half would think.

What a relief! When I saw the title I thought it was going to be about your husband telling you what to wear. You're both on the same page, it's no-one else's business.

Are they commenting because they think you look too sexy or because they think you’re too old for “skimpy” clothes and are embarrassing yourself so they are trying to give you a polite hint?