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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my MIL wants me to tell the kids that HER presents come from her and not Santa?

66 replies

supadoula · 12/12/2007 19:09

My DC are 2 and 4 and for the first time I have invited my family and DH family over for Xmas. My MIL phoned today and said that she's got a sackful of presents for DD (when we told her that the rule was 2 presents max!) and hence (probably because she spent a lot of money...) would like me to tell the kids that the presents come from her!
My DC being small I think that it would spoil the magic just a bit!!! I don't want to create a diplomatic incident but I also find it hard to agree with her!!
Shall I tell the kids the presents come from Granny's santa???
Any help on this thorny sensitive issue appreciated!!

OP posts:
andaRubberDuckinapeartree · 12/12/2007 19:13

Don't you normally say that presents come from her?

In our house Santa brings the stocking and maybe one tree present. All the rest come from family and friends (who should be thanked accordingly). Why should Santa get all the glory!

hatrick · 12/12/2007 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CarmenerryChristmas · 12/12/2007 19:15

What?? What about the joy and magic of receiving gifts from loving family members?? YABU and a bit odd imo.

TheIceQueen · 12/12/2007 19:16

DS's get one or two small presents from Santa, the rest are from family.......as to how they magically appear on Christmas morning - simple - Santa had been looking after them for us and dropped them off with the present from him.

NAB3littlemonkeys · 12/12/2007 19:16

Our kids think pretty all their presents that come from us are from Santa and anything from anyone else is from them.

Unfitmother · 12/12/2007 19:17

I think YABU

Becthetinselneck · 12/12/2007 19:17

Why don't you just tell them that the presents are from Granny? Why does Santa have to be involved in every gift?

Iota · 12/12/2007 19:17

same as rubber duck in our house

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 12/12/2007 19:18

Santa brings stocking and most presents from us. Presents from grandparents are from grandparents (although my dad insists on writing "from Santa" on labels!).

camillathechicken · 12/12/2007 19:18

why should she not have the pleasure of her grandchildren being grateful to her? and really , your 2 yr old is not going to understand or know or frankly care where the gifts come from!

if they ask, santa only goes to houses where there are small children.. so he brings to your house and not grandmas..

Original poster
supadoula · 12/12/2007 19:19

oohhh... might be a cultural issue there. I am French and Santa always bring all the presents in France. Of course, you always discreetly thank the family. As the majority seems to agree with my MIL I might have to make amends......

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 12/12/2007 19:19

Message withdrawn

flowerytaleofNewYork · 12/12/2007 19:19

YABU I'm afraid! Your MIL has spent money and time working out what to give them, and having them come from her not Santa isn't going to mean they don't believe in Santa, but they will begin to learn that Christmas is about people giving things to people they love as well.

TroutSprout · 12/12/2007 19:20

Errm...i've always told mine who brought them the presents.We only say the ones from us are from Father Christmas to dd (Ds is 10 and so is a non believer now..so he knows it's us)
How will they know to thank her if you don't?Surely it makes sense?
Mine also help to choose pressies for friends and family and also spend their pocket money buying each other little gifts. That's pretty magical tbh (specially in dd's case..she doesn't like parting with her cash for anyone!
I say tell em..but i'm sure lots will be along in a minute to disagree

MotherFunk · 12/12/2007 19:20

Message withdrawn

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree · 12/12/2007 19:20

In our house it was only ever the stocking presents that came from Santa & everything else was from the giver, including what we gave them. It makes it so much easier for thank you letters and 'we can't afford that' life-lessons.

crokky · 12/12/2007 19:21

IMHO, the presents that you get in your stocking come from Santa. These come in the night and it is mysterious how they get there as they weren't there before. So Santa has been in the night!

The presents that come from granny do come from granny (because she brings them with her), just like the presents that come from mummy are from mummy etc...these presents are under the tree in advance, they can be seen etc as they come when the family member brings them. I don't associate these presents with Santa. maybe your mil doesn't either?

Also, with family, you generally give them a gift back - I would put the gift in my DC's hand, tell them to go and present it to granny as that is what we have bought her for christmas.

WellWeathered · 12/12/2007 19:21

Really? This is what you are choosing to be annoyed about? You're going to have a pretty miserable Christmas with your MIL present if you let this sort of thing bother you.

I believe, growing up, that my parents bought the presents 'from Santa' and we knew that the presents my grandparents gave us were from them.

Desiderata · 12/12/2007 19:21

The safe rule of thumb is that all the presents under the tree when they wake up (i.e., the ones specifically from you) are from Santa.

Grandparents, friends, etc., are perfectly entitled to present their gifts as their own. It's a sensible balance between magic and pragmatism.

POOKAingwenceslaslookedout · 12/12/2007 19:21

I think that's fair enough. YABU.
Here we have a stocking and maybe 1 tree present from Father Christmas. The rest of the presents are attributed to whoever bought them. That way, the children know and understand that people buy each other presents as well as Father Christmas giving something too.
I would not be happy with the idea of my parents or brothers giving the children presents and getting no thanks for them.

TheIceQueen · 12/12/2007 19:23

"might be a cultural issue there. I am French and Santa always bring all the presents in France. "

Santa used to bring all the presents in my house when I was little - but they all (mostly - apart from one or two from Santa) used to have labels on from ALL people that had bought them - parents, grandparents, auntys, friends etc etc

POOKAingwenceslaslookedout · 12/12/2007 19:25

Oh sorry - just saw your second post. I didn't realise that all presents were seen as coming from Father Christmas in France. Hmmm. Think that to be diplomatic it might be worthwhile having some presents from Father Christmas, and some from people. After all, it's quite good practice for children to understand that while Father Christmas exists and gives all children some of what they want, other people also like to give each other presents at Christmas time. Just to lighten his load a little IYKWIM.

Coolchristmasfairy · 12/12/2007 19:26

We buy gifts for nieces, nephews and godchildren and, to be perfectly honest, I would be wildly annoyed for the kids to be told they came from Santa!!

dustyroad · 12/12/2007 19:27

Well Santa brings two presents to each child in our house (usually ones from their letter to Santa now they are old enough to write to him!). Other presents are given/received to/from friends/family in person or brought out by me at intervals throughout the day (one big session has been too much for mine in the past - we found it best to have a Santa session which tends to be very early , then later on a give/receive from whoever is there session, then later on bring out any gifts from absent family/friends). Certainly grandma's presents come from grandma (even if I do buy them for her).
If children are young they tend to forget who gave what by the next day IME.

coldtits · 12/12/2007 19:27

Father Christmas only brings parental presents here.

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