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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bridesmaid dresses….

47 replies

Tryingtobe123 · 06/11/2021 18:16

Hi all,

I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or not!!

I have 3 bridesmaids for my wedding next year. All of which agreed to me ordering a dress for one of them to try on, it’s a beautiful dress and they all said they liked it. I tried it on today, and they’ve all moaned saying they hate the style and wouldn’t wear it as it wouldn’t be flattering on them…which I get it, it’s fine but every single dress I’m picking out for them there’s an issue with it. One of them won’t have straps, has to have sleeves. One of them won’t have a satin type material. One won’t have a high neck, or too low…one won’t have a dress too low at the back. I’ve said show me what you like! They said they liked this one and now there’s major issues with it, saying they thought the style was really unflattering….why agree to me ordering it and trying it on then!!!

Arghhhhhhh. I’m so chilled when it comes to the wedding I just want them to be comfortable but everything I’m trying is being turned down. I haven’t even got my dress yet, I’m trying to get them sorted first so they don’t have to worry

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 06/11/2021 18:20

Sort your dress out
Why don’t you give them a colour and free right to choose whatever they want ? This is what I did
Does it all have to be matchy matchy? I know what looks good on one person will not look good on another (plus everyone will be looking at job Wink)

rubyslippers · 06/11/2021 18:20

@rubyslippers

Sort your dress out Why don’t you give them a colour and free right to choose whatever they want ? This is what I did Does it all have to be matchy matchy? I know what looks good on one person will not look good on another (plus everyone will be looking at job Wink)
Meant to say everyone will be looking at you!
RuthW · 06/11/2021 18:22

Your wedding. You get to choose and pay for the dresses. If they don't like them then they can step down. Nothing worse than dresses that are all different and don't match.

Tryingtobe123 · 06/11/2021 18:22

No not matchy matchy at all, it’s a really chilled wedding. They all said they’d like to match! Which is why I’m sat here like what the fuck?! I think I might just give them £100 each and say get what you want! Would that be shit?

I know they’ve gotta be comfy and happy but it’s not all about them. Which I feel awful saying! My sister will be 1 month post partum and she’s the only one who is like ‘I’m easy whatever we have I’ll make it work!’

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 06/11/2021 18:23

They sound difficult in that case! I would let them get on with it book yourself some wedding dress fittings - so much fun!

JazzyBBG · 06/11/2021 18:24

Can you buy the same colour dress in different styles?

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 06/11/2021 18:30

I gave mine a colour and one of my bridesmaids didn't think it would suit her so we changed it and then both of them picked their own style.

Hankunamatata · 06/11/2021 18:42

What is unflattering about it?

AutumnLeaves21 · 06/11/2021 18:47

Op what about something like this which will match but they can choose to wear it how they feel is flattering?
Sorry, they all sound like they’re being really difficult. Never understand why people act like such moaning dickheads about other peoples wedding day. They should be going out their way to make things easier for you, you’d think they’d be grateful that you’re so chilled.

Bridesmaid dresses….
AutumnLeaves21 · 06/11/2021 18:48

(Just realised that’s a jumpsuit but if you Google it, theirs loads of dresses in different lengths and copies with the same feature)

Garriet · 06/11/2021 19:03

I would just set them a budget and a colour scheme and let them get on with it.

FaaarkinEll · 06/11/2021 19:06

Get a multiway dress then they can choose how they would like to wear it. Focus on yourself

cakecakecheese · 06/11/2021 19:06

I'd wear a goddamn peach meringue if that's what the bride wanted because it's not about me!

Yeah just tell them to sort themselves out, you've got more important things to be doing!

PeigiSu · 06/11/2021 19:10

I was really impressed with my Wed2b dress I had as a bridesmaid. They could pick any of the styles in whichever colour you go with. I thought the quality was good and the styles flattering, especially for the price.

PeigiSu · 06/11/2021 19:13

There’s one in most cities as well so they could try on locally in store without you needing to order/return.

Feedingthebirds1 · 06/11/2021 20:44

I've been looking at the JJ's House website for a wedding guest dress, and when I asked on the Style and Beauty board JJ's got a definite thumbs up (and the reviews on the site are excellent). They have a range of around 57 colours for every style and can be bought as a standard size or custom made.

How about getting them to choose one colour for all of them (let them fight out which one) but having their own styles?

www.jjshouse.co.uk/Cheap-Bridesmaid-Dresses-c7/

Jabvribt · 06/11/2021 20:50

I’ve been a bridesmaid 3 times and my approach has always been that even if the dress isn’t the most flattering it’s only one day and it’s not about me. I think they’re being out of order to be honest.
On one occasion when I was a bridesmaid we had different styles but the same colour which with all our different body shapes worked well and still looked good in photos

DriftingBlue · 06/11/2021 20:50

If you have a variety of body types, I’m a fan of the bridesmaid lines where you can specify the color and fabric and then they pick any dress from the group.

RandomMess · 06/11/2021 20:52

Absolutely just pick the colour something easy like navy. Lots of these stores do different styles in all the colours though!

CoolOven · 06/11/2021 20:54

Sort your dress out
Why don’t you give them a colour and free right to choose whatever they want ?

This is what my daughter did. Gave them a cash limit and let them choose their own. I think it looks much nicer than identical dresses which, let's face it, won't always look good on different people

DriftingBlue · 06/11/2021 20:55

I also just bought a jj’s house dress to use as part of DD’s Halloween costume. I was a bit worried, but the quality was actually excellent. I would absolutely buy from them again. The caveat is that the shipping is SLOW and with Covid it can be extremely unpredictable. My order sat in customs for weeks. That was not the company’s fault. I had paid for expedited shipping so I had good tracking info and could see exactly where it was held up at each stage.

I would not order from them if you want the option of returning the dress though. Return shipping will pretty much destroy your savings.

Crunchingleaf · 06/11/2021 20:59

I have three Bridesmaids I picked the colour and they have three different dresses in that colour. They are all different shapes and sizes with different insecurities about their bodies and have chosen dresses they feel comfortable and beautiful in.
Also I got my dress first. One of the bridesmaids favourite dress just didn’t suit the vibe of my dress so we went with her second choice.

CoolOven · 06/11/2021 21:01

Nothing worse than dresses that are all different and don't match

I think the complete opposite. Matching dresses look twee.

Lightisnotwhite · 06/11/2021 21:03

Yes I had this too, I was a very easy going bride, here’s the brief pick what you want or wear what you have. We had 4 months of this dress/ that dress/ combo’s.

In the end I had to pick a dress, buy all three and everyone was happy. They look better than I do if I’m honest ! 😀.

Feetupteashot · 06/11/2021 21:04

Probably easier face to face. Came you make an afternoon of it and all go to one or two places and they can come up with a compromise?

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