Bridesmaid dresses….

[Tryingtobe123]

Hi all,

I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or not!!

I have 3 bridesmaids for my wedding next year. All of which agreed to me ordering a dress for one of them to try on, it’s a beautiful dress and they all said they liked it. I tried it on today, and they’ve all moaned saying they hate the style and wouldn’t wear it as it wouldn’t be flattering on them…which I get it, it’s fine but every single dress I’m picking out for them there’s an issue with it. One of them won’t have straps, has to have sleeves. One of them won’t have a satin type material. One won’t have a high neck, or too low…one won’t have a dress too low at the back. I’ve said show me what you like! They said they liked this one and now there’s major issues with it, saying they thought the style was really unflattering….why agree to me ordering it and trying it on then!!!

Arghhhhhhh. I’m so chilled when it comes to the wedding I just want them to be comfortable but everything I’m trying is being turned down. I haven’t even got my dress yet, I’m trying to get them sorted first so they don’t have to worry

I gave my bridesmaids this choice for my wedding OP and I wish I hadn't. They were unbelievably fussy about dress styles and colours and we ended up going to three different shops and spending double the time looking for a dress for them than we did looking for my dress. One of them also changed their mind after they chose the first time and it was really stressful. My advice would be to just choose a simple style for them all and tell them you're sorry but you don't have time to contemplate over the dress so you have chosen for them and at the end of the day it is your wedding day.

Have you been shopping with your bridesmaids in person OP?
Even if you don’t plan on buying from a bridal shop it can be really helpful to try on styles, colours and materials to see what everyone is happy with.

Another vote for the multiway dress

I'd totally go with
Colour request eg scarlet / navy etc
Suggested dresses
Budget
Leave the bridesmaids to agree & sort.
I'm tiny. My best mate is 6 foot and totality different shape etc

I’d cut them some slack: it looked good on the website but once they’ve seen the real thing, they can see that it’s not so nice. That’s really common and a problem with buying online.

I would take a break from the bridesmaid dresses for now and concentrate on getting your own. That’s more important and time critical.

I wonder if you back off from picking dresses for them, they might get together and come up with some ideas of their own rather than just shooting down all your picks.

There’s no substitute for going into proper shops and trying things on, IMO.

I gave my bridesmaids a budget and told them to pick their own. They all looked gorgeous.

Katie Thistleton's wedding pic...bridesmaids all wearing same colour but some with straps, some with sleeves, less matchy matchy looks better.

I'd give them the $ and tell them the colour and leave them to sort it out.

I've been a bridesmaid once - had to wear a custom made dress that was so not my taste and I didn't feel comfortable in but I did it and even paid for the privilege because it was one bloody day and it made the bride happy.

I didn't particularly like my bridesmaid dress but it wasn't about me. So i wore the dress and put a smile on my face and concentrated on the bride. They sound whiny and awkward.

Just chose a colour and let them pick their style - they can't ask more than that! Congratulations!!

Ditch the adult bridesmaids and have kids who love to dress up in anything you throw at them.

ditch the bridesmaids - or just have one
the least whingey one

Tell them to find a dressmaker and you will supply the material. Then they can have what they want. I've seen this done with a little litlle bridesmaid, an adult matron of honour wearing a shift dress and jacket and a little flower girl, all made out of the same material it worked really well.

Get a pattern like this one with a few options, OK this has straps or halter there isn't a sleeves option but there is a jacket.

www.walmart.com/ip/Simplicity-Misses-Size-6-12-Special-Occasion-Dress-Pattern-1-Each/21922995

Can you get to a shop and do it all in one go. Like a wed 2 b if they are around still? You can just have one colour but different styles. Or I've seen a kind of ombre thing going on before where it's just shades of pink/purple.

Oh and get your own dress sorted as a priority

£300 is a lot to spend, esp on people who will still complain...

I solved this by giving mine a budget and telling them to sort it out themselves. I said they could pick any colour they wanted and any style i wanted a shortlist of 3 to choose from.

There were still multiple complaints from one (size 8 and excellent figure and everything looked good on her) but i thankfully didnt have to listen to them.

Are you ordering them and then trying them on? Why not go with the colour theme and have a mix of different styles. It's what we did for sils wedding and worked well. I've attached a pic. That way everyone was comfortable. We did buy our own dresses.

Let adult bridesmaids choose their own dress as you will inevitably get the “I look fat in this”. If they choose, they’re responsible. Just send a few ideas re colour/style and your vision

I'm sure you can get multi-wesr dresses that are one dress you can style in multiple ways so it's flattering for all shapes.

www.laceandfavour.com/blog/how-to-guide/multiway-bridesmaid-dresses/

Wed2b is perfect for Thai situation. They have 5/6 styles of bridesmaid dress and a range of colours. I chose the colour then let my 5 bridesmaids pick whichever style they wanted.