To give friend ultimatum over how she lets her little dog be treated?

[Helloise]

Close friend has a little mutt of a dog, supposedly part mini-pin, part Jack Russell. He’s a nervous anxious little thing but very sweet, he always comes to me when I visit and snuggles up to me so I guess I’m partial to him. Anyway, friend’s granddaughter (who she is raising) is old enough now that she can pick up the dog and she absolutely won’t leave it alone. The dog clearly hates it and growls and licks his nose and trembles and even snaps but no one seems to care because he’s completely toothless. Last time I was there the dog was literally hiding behind my back where I could feel him trembling and the granddaughter was still digging around for him, I said “maybe let’s leave him alone for a bit, he’s tired” - the granddaughter started crying and my friend said “oh it’s fine, (dog) doesn’t mind”. He clearly DOES mind though and it breaks my heart to see how miserable he is.

I might try to explain a bit of dog psychology and how the nose licking and growling/shaking show how miserable he is, but I honestly think she wouldn’t care- if the granddaughter wants to drag him around like a doll and it keeps her busy that’s fine with her. It’s really making me reconsider the kind of person she is. I’m tempted to kidnap the little dog and make a run for it. Seriously though I would offer to take the little dog off her hands if I didn’t already have a dog-reactive rescue lurcher of my own at home. What would you do?

Go for something that she cares about , so if she doesn’t care that the dog is stressed enough to bite because he doesn’t have any teeth , tell her that if he keeps getting stressed he may well become unmanageable in other ways, shitting in the house for ex , Or you could just try telling her straight, as in really bluntly. I couldn’t watch it either 😞

I'd tell her straight too-say the dog looks miserable and unhappy and it's not fair on him. I hate this sort of shit. It's an animal not this kid's fucking cuddly toy. How old is the kid?

Poor thing will snap soon.
The dc's face likely.
And we all know how that will end...
I reported a friend when her dh was abusing their ddog.
It was removed that day.
Do you know where she got it?
I rang Ddog's Trust where they had got her from.

When she says he doesn't mind, can't you just say that he does mind because he's displaying so many signs that he does mind?

Explain to her that you find it upsetting to see a dog so clearly distressed? Could you offer to take it and keep it separate from your dog?

Poor thing will snap soon.
The dc's face likely.
And we all know how that will end...

Op has said the dog is toothless.

@Pumpkinsonparade

Poor thing will snap soon. The dc's face likely. And we all know how that will end... I reported a friend when her dh was abusing their ddog. It was removed that day. Do you know where she got it? I rang Ddog's Trust where they had got her from.

That’s part of the problem, little dog doesn’t have any teeth so can’t protect himself. So they just laugh when it snaps. The dog originally belonged to my friend’s daughter who got him as a puppy when she was a teenager. Based on her lifestyle (which precludes caring for her own child) and the sort of people she runs with I’m sure it was just a home bred mutt, not a rescue or anything.

How old is the child? Not that that really should make a difference.

They sound disgustingly vile. I couldn't be friends with someone who found amusement in an animal's suffering. Some people are just shit.

Sadly, people like your friend won't listen to your concerns.

That this dog can't cause the child much harm doesn't mitigate the fact that the child isn't learning NOT to behave like this around dogs that might do her a LOT of harm.

That's one of the tacks I'd be taking with this friend, if she cares so little for how the dog feels.

Vicky - that's a really good suggestion.

I'd tell your friend exactly how it is to be honest. When she says "oh the dog doesn't mind" make it clear that the dog does.

If she refuses to change her behaviour, report them.

If she refuses to change her behaviour, report them.

To whom? RSPCA are unlikely to do anything.

Gosh that's so cruel. Report to RSPCA.

You can still get a nasty bruise if a dog with no teeth bites you and means it, up to now he’s probably giving back off/warnings.

Yeah I'd be taking him off her saying "he doesn't like that" "you're hurting him." "Stop it, you're scaring him"
Shame your friend into stopping it.

It’s worth trying to explain the behaviour I agree.

Not just for the dogs sake, if the kid grabs another dog like it’s a teddy bear she could get an injury.

She sounds fucking awful OP & she is teaching her GD to disregard the feelings of sentient beings for her own satisfaction.

I could not remain friends with her if she would not listen & change.
He clearly DOES mind though and it breaks my heart to see how miserable he is.
She needs to hear this, so you have to brace yourself & say it.

Frankly, if this were me & a 'friend' refused to change her ways over this, I'd take her by the back of her collar & pull her around for a step or 2, so that when she objected, I could tell her "it's ok, because you don't mind, just like your little dog."

Where did she get him from? - because if that didn't make her see sense, I'd call the rescue centre or breeder to report.

Is there anyone you know who could give him a new home? Poor wee dog some people are just sh:ts

@Chocolatewheatos

Yeah I'd be taking him off her saying "he doesn't like that" "you're hurting him." "Stop it, you're scaring him" Shame your friend into stopping it.

Good ideas

Why does the dog have any teeth?

I have only known of 1 dog without teeth and he was nearly 18.

I have had many dogs through full life expectancy without them losing teeth and even at the vet's I worked at I never saw a toothless dog (although occasionally we would pull a single rotting tooth in the surgery).

@mam0918

Why does the dog have any teeth?

I have only known of 1 dog without teeth and he was nearly 18.

I have had many dogs through full life expectancy without them losing teeth and even at the vet's I worked at I never saw a toothless dog (although occasionally we would pull a single rotting tooth in the surgery).

He wasn’t well taken care of and his teeth were all rotten by the time he came to live with my friend- used to belong to her shall-we-say feckless daughter. Dog is about 11 I think.

Honestly, I think I'd steal the dog if I could get him to a shelter or possibly find someone who would rehome...

Poor little thing.

Ask if you could borrow the dog to trial getting one for yourself?

Not sure how else you can dog nap him tbh

Ironically, I have just posted this on another thread. I have a rescue dog on my sofa at the moment who was taken to a vet to be PTS because she snapped when the previous owner's child stamped on her tail and broke it.