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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy DS6 a “switch”

53 replies

TracyLords · 06/11/2021 14:05

I had thought he was a bit too young for one, and have been trying to keep computers etc to a minimum. He’s allowed 10 minutes a few times a week on a console (not sure which type) at after school club, and occasionally plays games on my kindle.

He’s not actually asked for a switch, but I noticed that most of his friends have one, or are getting one for Christmas. But I still feel that he’s a bit too young; but at the same time I don’t want him being the poor kid who misses out.

Aibu to not buy him one, and maybe get one in a couple of years

OP posts:
Moonshine11 · 06/11/2021 14:07

Majority of 6 years I know have a switch tbf.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 06/11/2021 14:07

If he hasn’t even asked for one I’m not sure why this is an issue to be honest. Why would anyone spend £300 on something their child hasn’t expressed an interest in?
I won’t be buying my 8 and 6 year olds a Switch either, as they haven’t asked for one. Some of their friends have them.

Bagelsandbrie · 06/11/2021 14:08

Mumsnet is generally anti computer games and I’m sure you’ll get loads of replies telling you that you’re not unreasonable and he should be playing with an abacus until he’s 20. But in the real world I think 6 is a perfect age for a switch. And if you can afford one they’re a lot of fun - games like just dance and sonic at the Olympics on the main tv can be very active and a lot of fun. And then you have all the other “normal” games you can play handheld as well.

10 mins on a console / game is really strict and isn’t really enough to enjoy playing a game….!

Whinge · 06/11/2021 14:09

There's no point buying one if you won't let him use it.

If you buy one then you need to accept his screen time is going to increase.

Clementineapples · 06/11/2021 14:09

Like pp why buy something he’s not asked for? In a few years they’ll be another console out so wait until he asks for something he wants

toomuchlaundry · 06/11/2021 14:09

Could you get one as a family console. I think we got the Wii when DS was about this age. Easier to control the time on it, if it is family not solely DS's

cowburp · 06/11/2021 14:09

If he's not asking for one don't get one. Be guided by him.

SummerHouse · 06/11/2021 14:11

These are not good things that enrich their lives. I would hold off. Mine had kindle kids quite young and I regretted getting them.

Burnt0utMum · 06/11/2021 14:11

My 7 and 5 year old are getting one (2nd hand) as a joint present this year. I don't see the harm if they don't spend all their time on it. But, if he hasn't asked for it then there shouldn't be any pressure to buy it if you don't want to.

GroggyLegs · 06/11/2021 14:11

YANBU not to get him one if he hasn't asked for it.

My 5 & 7 year old share one and it's a really clever little thing. But I use it more than they do 😳

But I do wish I'd put off devices as long as possible. Lockdown broke me.

Original poster
TracyLords · 06/11/2021 14:11

@Bagelsandbrie it’s the rule at after school club that they only get 10 minutes; and if I’m honest, I’d prefer he was doing something active. He goes to a few activities after school, and then we play “family game” every night for 15 minutes, so he doesn’t really have time on weekdays to play computer games.

At weekends we go out a lot, but I’d imagine he’d enjoy playing it while I’m snoozing lol

OP posts:
Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 06/11/2021 14:12

I would perhaps look at buying him a second hand one in the new year and giving it him for his birthday.

I think giving them one before they ask for it detracts from the attractiveness of them.

The ten mins a day seems ridiculous. If you continue that at home then he’ll think he’s missing out on all sorts. Buy him a switch and an educational few games and he may get benefit from them.

They can be great for coordination and really quite educational.

Beckert · 06/11/2021 14:12

I wouldn't bother if he hasn't asked for one. My child got bored with his pretty quickly. After he begged for one for ages.

SunndyD · 06/11/2021 14:12

My DS is also six and is getting a switch for Christmas as he’s asked for one and has wanted one for ages.
We’ve got a family Xbox already than came out in lockdown, he loves playing it to be fair and was gutted when Roblox went down 🤣
Some of his friends game some don’t…. But that’s okay, they are all into different things and that’s fine!
He has a good balance between Xbox , Lego , playing out… iPad…. Swimming footie and school. I’ve never been hugely bothered re the screen issue as long as it’s balanced

Whinge · 06/11/2021 14:14

It’s the rule at after school club that they only get 10 minutes

He may get 10 minutes to play on the console, but I can guarentee he spends much longer than this watching others as they take their turns.

waterrat · 06/11/2021 14:16

I honestly say (going against others here ) hold out as long as you can. Inevitably once you have gaming system they will spend more times on screens. This is time away from developing a reading habit and from.imaginative and physical play.

He will end up getting one but the two years you wait might really be a lot less time he spends gaming. My 9 Yr old is finally getting one for Xmas and yes he is one of only a few kids without one but I'm even now dreading dealing with thr constant nature of it and how addictive it can be

WeeM · 06/11/2021 14:17

If he’s not asked for one and he’s not that bothered I probably wouldn’t as they are expensive (as are the games!). However I’d say that is an ok age for one, my DD got one when she was 7 and I have to say it’s a lot of fun. We often play together (mario kart and mario party) so use it as a family. She doesn’t play on it loads at home really (will go through phases) but it’s great for car/plane journeys too.

Kanaloa · 06/11/2021 14:17

I would say if he hasn’t asked for one then it isn’t an issue. My 6yo doesn’t have one and hasn’t asked. I don’t know if her friends do, I haven’t heard them talking about it if so. But then we don’t play video games Roblox/Minecraft etc at home so possibly she hasn’t seen one to want it.

So I think my general thoughts on this would be you’re making an issue where there isn’t one - you don’t want him to have a switch, he hasn’t asked for a switch. There’s really no issue.

TurnUpTurnip · 06/11/2021 14:18

I seen someone asking if they should get their 4 year old one the other day, who wasn’t even asking for one 🤦🏻

Original poster
TracyLords · 06/11/2021 14:20

@Whinge. You’re possibly right. Most times we collect him he is either playing outside or playing with cars. We’re not really a gaming family: I think DH had an Xbox or PlayStation or something but I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve actually seen him play it

OP posts:
winteranimal · 06/11/2021 14:22

My 5 year old has one. My husband has a rewards scheme at work and was able to trade his points in for one so he did that and we gave it to our son on his 5th birthday. He has one game which he really enjoys playing. He does plenty of other things and doesn't get a lot of screen time otherwise so I'm actually very relaxed about it. However, we find it really tires him out so generally he plays on it for 30 minutes a couple of times a week. He is getting another game for Christmas.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 06/11/2021 14:23

He hasn't asked for one - yanbu to wait until he does!

A ten minute time limit is actually worse than no access at all btw - not letting the child play until a lot logical save point will create completely unnecessary frustration and is similar to letting your child put a sweet in their mouth for a moment to get the taste, and making them spit it back out and throwing it away - much more likely to create an out of proportion obsession with the tantalising "treat".

6 year olds don't need consoles obviously, and if he hasn't asked for one you're creating a dilemma where there isn't one!

Wait until he does ask, then agree a sensible set of rules (we said that if there were tantrums when told to switch off that'd show us they weren't mature enough to have the gadget and it would be removed completely, and they had to agree to that before receiving the gadget - same rule before being allowed to play specific games with a reputation for being addictive. Its worked well so far - eldest gamer child is 14, 16 year old has had phases of gaming but no longer interested and spontaneously sold own primarily gaming PC for a laptop better suited to college).

We also have parental timers and controls on all gadgets, but limits for younger ones are weekly not daily so they can choose to play to a satisfactory save point knowing that they then won't play the next day. Older gamer child has a longer daily limit conditional on school grades staying good and on not having games or YouTube on his mobile and the mobile not being taken upstairs.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 06/11/2021 14:23

It’s a weird question though. Loads of my 6 year old friends have a Barbie house. She hasn’t asked for a Barbie house. So I wouldn’t go and buy her one just in case she was missing out. That’s just weird! Be guided by him on what he would like for Christmas, not what everyone else (may) have.

violetanemone · 06/11/2021 14:24

YABU if this is all just because of his age. A Switch is perfectly appropriate for a 6-year-old and I'm sure he would get a lot of enjoyment out of it.

If it's for other reasons like being suspicious about the effects of gaming etc then that's more complicated (but really I still think YABU because you can just limit the time he spends on it).

BlowDryRat · 06/11/2021 14:25

My DC both have a switch. DS got one for Christmas just before he turned 9, DD for her 9th birthday. They were both happy to play on a Kindle before that. I have the parental control app on my phone so I can set time limits and bedtime. They occasionally ask for extra time but I've been very clear that grumpiness won't get them any and XT is only for holidays and long drives.