Contribution to firework party

[BBtie]

So am interested in thoughts. Invited a group of three sets of parents and children, from children’s school, with whom we are pretty good friends, around for fireworks and some food. Catered the children and grown ups with a nice meal and said we will have some fireworks so bring selves, booze and sparklers and, don’t worry about fireworks. Of three families invited one bought a nice firework to contribute (lovely for sure but not obligatory) plus sparklers, and two turned up with booze for parents and nothing else including sparklers for their kids. When sparkler time came though, all out ready for sparklers so the two families who contributed (us plus the other family who came with sparklers and a firework) ended up giving ours to the other 2 families who bought nothing. I guess the fairest way to deal with would be to call kids whose families brought them sparklers forward but we felt a bit bad and now feel it’s a bit rude that some families turned up worth sod all but took other families’ hospitality for granted. Sparklers cost 2 quid max. My feeling is to turn up, eat a nice meal, watch fireworks and then also take others’ sparklers, bringing nothing to contribute for is rude. Thoughts?

@MNK123

Thanks all I have clearly got knickers in a knot over this one

Is this OP?

Sparklers come in packs of 10 don't they? What's the issue with sharing?

Yeah I would have made sure there was enough! Sounds like they all brought something round though

I think you should have provided the sparklers, to be honest. You were hosting. I’ve got no idea where you get sparklers from. I’ve never bought them. Maybe it is the same with them.

Yeah, I wouldn't even have known where to get sparklers actually.

Unless there's somewhere to buy it within 5 minutes of my house it ain't happening.

But booze I can do easily.

It depends what is the norm where you live and within your friendship group. I grew up in Suffolk and it was normally for people to either bring nothing and expect you to do the same when you visited them, or contribute a ‘token’ item such as auntie’s famous trifle.
Then we moved to the North West. Such a difference! First time we had a party it was a BBQ for our son’s birthday. Everyone turned up with booze, BBQ stuff, salads etc.
Maybe think what you would have done if you had been invited to someone’s house - would you have thought to take sparklers?

It’s many years since I bought sparklers but they always used to come in multipacks. How many kids were there surely there was at least enough for 1 each? I’m not seeing the point. Was it a good evening with nice friends?

It's a very specific thing to ask them to bring. And strange if you're providing fireworks. Don't put it upon yourself to host a party and then moan that people came. They weren't rude, you're the one that made the mistake by not buying enough.

They forgot the sparklers. And it's not something every shop is going to have so not like you can just run in for them on the way.

They brought booze so not being cheap.

Of course you share - if it's a kids party, you can't just let some kids go without because their parents have been disorganised.

In your shoes, I would have bought sparklers for everyone since I was buying fireworks anyone. But then I have friends who are so disorganised that they're liable to turn up without one of their children (they have actually done this !) so I wouldn't expect them to remember sparklers.

Did you have a nice time? That's all that matters in the end. Don't waste life seething over tiny things.

I would automatically share the sparklers - wouldn’t even cross my mind not to!

@LittleDandelionClock

YABU. You remind me of a neighbour I used to have who would invite people around for a firework night party, and tell people to 'just bring some fireworks with you, and some booze, and some food . (Burgers and buns and crisps and snacks etc...)

So she would have the glory of being the 'host,' whilst her DH and several male guests cooked all the food on the BBQ, and everyone else brought and lit the fireworks. Absolute cheek!

😅 my mum does that and wonders why no one turns up!

You should have bought enough sparklers for all the children.

If sparklers were part of the evening then I would have bought sparklers for everyone.

At least make sure to have a back up supply in case people forget (which they will!)

The only thing I'd ask people to bring is alcoholic drinks or anything specific they want.

Let it go, if you can. This wouldn't occur to me to be a thing to fret over.

Maybe they tried to get sparklers but they'd sold out? Or maybe there wasn't enough time to get to the shops to buy some. Or perhaps they just forgot. It doesn't really matter. It's a bit of a non issue really. They're your friends after all!

Bring your own booze is normal, bring your own sparklers isn’t, it’s not something people can just pick up anywhere, I would not have time at the end of a busy week to find sparklers somewhere to take to a party, so if I knew you’d get weird about it, I’d probably stay home

You invited them and by your own admission said the contribution from the other family was not expected so YABU

According to my whatsapp mums group - sparklers have been very hard to get this year. Maybe they ran out of time / energy to source.

Why are some so-called "hosts" so lacking in class and generosity? It would have made sense to have bought a sparkler for each child at least, rather than relying on your guests to come along toting their own supplies.

You should have provided the sparklers if it was going to be a big bit of the party. Also sparklers aren’t as easy to come by as lots of shops aren’t selling them anymore.

I haven't bought sparklers in years and not sure where I'd get them apart from a large shop 4 miles away where I noticed fireworks last week. Not going back there with all the kids in tow just to buy sparklers.

I haven’t seen sparklers for sale at all this year. They brought some drinks, so it’s not like they turned up empty handed. I don’t see the issue here.

We host a bonfire and invite the neighbours. We are very rural only ten houses in our whole village. We all have animals so theres been an agreement no fireworks for about twenty years now. We always buy loads of sparklers for everyone they are pretty cheap and something like ten in a pack. We dot them about in jars so people can help themselves to them. We are the hosts and supply everything for our guests. Its my job to make sure I have enough food, drink and sparklers for everyone. If people bring things too it's a bonus. Most folk show up with something anyway usually drink. Showing up with plenty of stuff to burn would make you a hero here. Throwing things on the fire is enjoyed by all. The only thing you are expected to bring is a Guy. Every family makes one to put on the bonfire and we see who's lasts the longest.

Good grief, there are bigger worries in the world at the moment than how many sparklers you have.