To ask if using the speaker when on your phone in public is socially acceptable or simply downright rude

[JemimaPiddleDick]

DP is blind to the fact that some people may not want to hear someone else’s conversation or to be be heard while having a conversation.
I work away from home so use WhatsApp to call my partner every night while away. I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve done a video call and found out halfway through that her DM / DSis / Dfriend is in the room and they’ve been listening to the whole conversation, also, we were having an afternoon drink in a half full country pub recently when her brother called, she took the call, on speaker, and spent the next 5 minutes having a chat the whole room could hear, because she wasn’t holding the phone to her ear she was speaking louder, people were staring, myself and our kids were mortified.

IABU - There’s nothing wrong with making conversations public
IANBU - It’s really crass behaviour

@Elleherd

Can i ask what you all feel about someone in a wheelchair doing it in the street when they have to use their hands to get where they're going but need to speak/have been put on hold etc? (because they've just no other time) Feel free tbh.

Wireless headsets? I mean there is so much tech out there now for handsfree calling, speaking etc.

I wouldn't mind if what I heard was the upcoming lottery numbers or some sensitive company takeover info that I could go make some money off ...never is! Uff

I blame the Apprentice where you see them all the time doing this. I do use the speaker phone sometimes when on with my mum and am writing down what she wants me get her from the shops but I am on my own and she is not doing the same.

@lljkk so get some headphones with a speaker or wait until you get home like we did in the old days

Rude and crass. YANBU.

I think if there’s a reason you have to use speaker, it’s only fair not to make calls in public enclosed spaces - cafes, public transport etc - unless you absolutely have to, and then keep them as short as possible.

I don't like it either. I especially loathe it when I find out I have been on speakerphone and everyone has been able to hear me!

Besides I would worry the person on the other end would say something inappropriate or embarrassing!

YANBU. Rude as fuck to everyone else concerned.

I'm hearing impaired. No speaker, no conversation.

lechatnoir - you know what it's like when you have to ring the GP at 8:30 to get any appointment, and the appointments are all gone by 9am typically?

I needed to go fetch something. The weather forecast was bad but right at 8:20 the weather looked ok. So I walked over to collect the item, the time hit 8:35 as I picked item up. At that point I dialed into surgery, put in wait Q, on speaker phone because sometimes I'm walking on loud noisy roads. 15 minutes later I'm back home & doing stuff (not holding phone to my ear unable to get on with other jobs). 10 minutes later the phone is finally answered.

So yeah I could have skipped collection I suppose, just to avoid offending... er, exactly nobody.. with the speaker phone use on the public street.

ps: and after all that, I didn't even get an appt.

I think the circumstances you describe are a perfectly socially acceptable use of a speaker phone

It’s super annoying! The only one worse than this was when I lived in a flat on quite a busy road - cars would often pull into our drive to hang out, whilst having phone conversations via the car Bluetooth that were so loud we could hear both sides through the closed windows!

(And yes I know it’s weird that people in cars would hang out there but they just did. Even had a police car hanging out there for ages with 3/4 officers (presumably on refreshment break) sitting inside chatting and taking selfies. Had to ask them to move on in the end too

Really rude. As is playing your music top volume when you could put headphones in.

Very rude and inconsiderate, but then I generally find we are becoming more rude as a society. I'm not talking about someone who obviously has a disability and has a physical need to do so, or someone with say a cognitive disability who may lack the awareness that they may be disturbing other people. I don't have a problem with them. I mean people who have long, loud conversations or play loud music with no consideration for people around them. Most of the conversations are absolute drivel anyway (although recently I did overhear a young woman arguing with presumably the boyfriend, and it was quite entertaining!), and if i wanted to listen to shit music I'd do it on my own phone. Just as bad are parents who allow kids to play games with no headphones.

I'm afraid I do mentally judge these people as selfish and entitled, and more than once I've been tempted to tell them to shut the f* up though I never actually have

Boring conversation about what time dinner is - rude and inconsiderate

Salacious gossip - crack on! 😂

Pig Ignorant, just who the hell do they think they are? It fucking astonishes me that anyone thinks this is okay. I would seriously reconsider a relationship with anyone who considered this acceptable.

Yes it's rude.

This thread is making me realise how little time I spend indoors with people outside my own household.

There are so many distractions at home I sometimes go to office for a different set of distractions -- the worst actually is typically one-side of long phone conversations that office-mates have. Other person on speaker wouldn't make the involuntary over-hearing any better or worse. I don't recall noticing any speaker phone conversations otherwise in last 2 years because, you know, the pandemic thing is going on so I'm not indoors for very long with others.

Elleherd:

<strong>Can i ask what you all feel about someone in a wheelchair doing it in the street when they have to use their hands to get where they're going but need to speak/have been put on hold etc? (because they've just no other time)</strong>

Feel free tbh.

Dreamstate:
Wireless headsets? I mean there is so much tech out there now for handsfree calling, speaking etc.

For the rich, yes. And again yet another item to try and carry around on the front of my body.

I asked because of hostility I've experienced trying to take calls while moving on the street. At first I was a bit surprised as it's pretty obvious I'm struggling and the calls aren't for fun, but came to the conclusion it was people pissed off generally, seeing an easy target to release built up anger on. This thread has made me realise there may be more to it.

Thank you to those who've recognized the quandary, and apologies to those who don't who feel aggrieved.

Unfortunately landlords contractors, the NHS, council tax dept etc don't care how difficult it may be to call them in our mandated breaks, or them call us and place on hold etc, and don't care where we are, what else we have to achieve in those short spaces, that we have to work extra days and longer hours to pay our way, or that we need our hands to move, any more than some others do.

Afraid I and other overworked and underpaid wheelchair dependents, will just have to add another reason to the list of why our issues are a problem to others, but hopefully there aren't too many of us upsetting too many of you.

@Elleherd

Elleherd:

<strong>Can i ask what you all feel about someone in a wheelchair doing it in the street when they have to use their hands to get where they're going but need to speak/have been put on hold etc? (because they've just no other time)</strong>

Feel free tbh.

Dreamstate:
Wireless headsets? I mean there is so much tech out there now for handsfree calling, speaking etc.

For the rich, yes. And again yet another item to try and carry around on the front of my body.

I asked because of hostility I've experienced trying to take calls while moving on the street. At first I was a bit surprised as it's pretty obvious I'm struggling and the calls aren't for fun, but came to the conclusion it was people pissed off generally, seeing an easy target to release built up anger on. This thread has made me realise there may be more to it.

Thank you to those who've recognized the quandary, and apologies to those who don't who feel aggrieved.

Unfortunately landlords contractors, the NHS, council tax dept etc don't care how difficult it may be to call them in our mandated breaks, or them call us and place on hold etc, and don't care where we are, what else we have to achieve in those short spaces, that we have to work extra days and longer hours to pay our way, or that we need our hands to move, any more than some others do.

Afraid I and other overworked and underpaid wheelchair dependents, will just have to add another reason to the list of why our issues are a problem to others, but hopefully there aren't too many of us upsetting too many of you.

Wireless headsets aren't expensive lol seriously for the rich? Don't be so dramatic. You just don't want to carry another bit of kit. Its hardly massive!

It is rude and attention seeking. No one least of all me is interested in someone else's conversations. I dont inflict my life on them.

@ Elleherd you can get a set of wireless bluetooth headphones for around £30. I have a set of anchor ones which iirc cost me £29 and they work very well for phone calls as well as listening to music.

I am visually impaired and as such use my phone with voiceover. And I always use headphones even just to listen to the voiceover. It irritates me so there’s no way I would inflict having to listen to it on other people.

And if there’s one thing which irritates me as much as people on speaker phone, it’s voiceover users listening to their text messages loudly wherever they go. There’s no need for it.

I do use wired EarPods in the main but i do also have a set of anchors and a set of airpods which I use if EarPods aren’t to hand or I need to put my phone down somewhere and need my hands free.

If you don’t want to use wireless headphones you can just use wired ones and keep them plugged into the phone. It will still ring on the speaker, you just answer it on headphones, and they won’t take up any more space than the phone is already doing.

@Amdone123

YANBU It's a bugbear of mine when people just use their phone in public never mind anything else! I was sitting behind someone on a bus the other day. They were discussing what to get for tea from the chippy. Loudly. After much to - ing and fro - ing regarding the merits of fish n chips versus a steak kidney pudding, I nearly grabbed the bloody phone and ordered for her ! 🤬

Yes especially on the train, quick phone call fair enough but going on and on

I wouldn't for one minute a disabled person using their phone in such a manner. But I think the speakerphone/horizontal comes from reality tv, where you need two halves of the conversation to keep the narrative going, but also be able to see the speakers face. A bit like a shaved vulva in porn.

It’s rude and totally ignorant to take calls on speaker!!! So unnecessary.