To ask if using the speaker when on your phone in public is socially acceptable or simply downright rude

[JemimaPiddleDick]

DP is blind to the fact that some people may not want to hear someone else’s conversation or to be be heard while having a conversation.
I work away from home so use WhatsApp to call my partner every night while away. I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve done a video call and found out halfway through that her DM / DSis / Dfriend is in the room and they’ve been listening to the whole conversation, also, we were having an afternoon drink in a half full country pub recently when her brother called, she took the call, on speaker, and spent the next 5 minutes having a chat the whole room could hear, because she wasn’t holding the phone to her ear she was speaking louder, people were staring, myself and our kids were mortified.

IABU - There’s nothing wrong with making conversations public
IANBU - It’s really crass behaviour

Although one of them once o realised I talked very loudly about my (entirely fictional) pile surgery... And how she would know about it... Having had similar herself...

Yanbu

Who are these people? Why do so many of them exist?
Do you think someone who does this irl will show up on the thread to tell us it’s not rude?

Its incredibly antisocial, not to mention do they even tell the other person? What of thst person is revealing something confidential or incredibly personal they don't want even strangers to hear. Bit of a violation of their privacy.

My neighbours love to have speakphone conversations, all the way through locksown in the garden at 7am in the morning. I could hear the entire two way conversation even with my windows shut thats how loud they were.

I dont give a crap about their drama and I'm not going to walk around in my house with headphones on for hours cos they think they can chat loudly for hours like that.

Find those type of people lacking in manners.

I think using your phone on speaker to have conversations in public indicates very poor social skills and a serious lack of self awareness.

It's rude and selfish. If the conversations were ever any more interesting than complete drivel, I might understand the urge to share.

YANBU.
selfish thoughtless and self absorbed.
If there is a hearing issue then headphones. Or if there is an ear issue then step outside of a room to have your convo.

I've found this most often in people who don't know how to change the setting to turn the speaker setting off! They also happen to be sitting in the quiet carriage of a train!!! Yes, its very rude

hairyfriend you are right - my old Ma accidentally had speaker on on her landline handset more often than not. Combination of accidentally pressing it (a lot) and her hearing not being good enough to realise a lot of the time.
She had a great ‘simple’ mobile later in life which had a huge ‘speaker’ button which lit up when on - this helped - a bit.

I think it’s very rude, on many levels. Rude to the person she’s talking to that does not know a whole room or other people are hearing the conversation and then rude to the people around her.

Knowing her propensity to do this, can you ask her at the start of your call if you’re in loud speaker and if so, can she take it off?

I certainly tell people who call me while I’m driving, thst I’m driving and have x, y, and z in the car with me and that they’re on.

Just of note generally, you may see people talking into their phone but not holding the phone to their ear if they’re using hearing aids. I have had a number of stares as it may look like I have people on loud speaker as the phone is not against my ear but in front of my face as wearing blue toothed hearing aids, I don’t hold a phone to my ears.

@WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia

Yanbu

Who are these people? Why do so many of them exist?
Do you think someone who does this irl will show up on the thread to tell us it’s not rude?

I was thinking this, it’s a unanimous verdict on here it’s rude. So where are the rookie who do it?

There used to be a certain type of man who’d do this on the train (whilst career/salary or name dropping) but it’s becoming more prevalent now amongst women in coffee shops! I often wonder if the person on the other end is aware a whole room of strangers can hear their personal conversation 😬

Rookie = people 🙄

I encountered someone recently doing this in the "quiet" carriage of a train. Needless to say she wasn't wearing a mask either (when they were still mandatory).

It's sadly both socially acceptable and a twatty thing to do.

I went to the loo at work yesterday (it's a college) and a girl in the next cubicle was on speaker to her boyfriend while I was peeing. They were planning a big night out. It was horrid. While I was washing my hands, she came out, with her phone balanced in her elbow while she was PAINTING HER NAILS at the same time. It was bizarre.

Rude and incredibly annoying.

It drives me up the wall on the train. Put the phone to your sodding ear and spare me.

After 20 minutes of a person three rows back broadcasting quite a confidential work call to the carriage (and I could clearly hear everything the person on the other end was saying), i politely asked if she could turn it down as it was quite loud. She looked at me uncomprehendingly and turned it down a couple of notches while leaving it on speaker. It is so rude and antisocial. Why are they so arrogant that they think 100 people trying to relax and unwind on a train carriage want to listen to their call?

I should add that I appreciate a small number may have hearing issues and need to, I'm referring to the large majority that don't.

YANBU at all, but I’ve only ever seen elderly people doing this so I usually assume they’re confused about the tech and don’t realise.

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn

YANBU. Crass.

A friend & I were on the tube once & the woman next to us was doing that - we leaned in to have a look at the person on the screen & started discussing their conversation. She stopped.

I do this too 😂 It's so rude

If they want to broadcast, they have to expect the live audience to do unexpected things 😂

Absolutely rude

There is a woman at work who must have her sounds up high, she also has keyboard sounds on. I mean who does that these days ?

But the most annoying is watching videos with no earplugs. I dont want to listen to a YouTube vid on fitting curtain poles

I was on the train and a woman was talking on speaker with a colleague about some really sensitive company financial information. She didn’t say the name of the company but it was quickly apparent to me, from the same industry though not a direct competitor. The information could have been used in so many ways.

There was another passenger near to her listening who had an equally astonished expression - he caught my eye, then leant over and said to her ‘ (name of company ), right ? You do realise everyone can hear everything ?’

The squawk from the other side of the phone was quite something to hear ……

I was on a train, pre covid, and a man in front of me kept making calls on his phone but used the speaker?? After the 3rd time I played baby shark on mine each time, he got the hint....

What did she say when you told her you don't want to be in speaker phone and it is rude to use speaker phone in public?

My mum does it. It drives me nuts! It's so Rude.