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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Had you ever seen a birth

94 replies

LilyTheMink · 05/11/2021 19:59

before giving birth yourself?

I think I'd only seen an animal do it but definitely no humans.

I really think its unnatural that it is so much behind closed doors and it is such an enormous shock to so many women.

I did nct and really the teacher skimmed over how the birth would feel. Contractions? "Like period pains" . Birth? Three theoretical 'stages' that in the actuality you can't understand from the experience at the time.

Aibu to think that we should be encouraging women to become more involved or even to view live births - somehow, even on video - before they are plunged into it with that first contraction of their own?

OP posts:
Dailywalk · 05/11/2021 20:01

I think I would have been even more terrified if I had! I was rather naive having my first! One BornEveryMinute was quite good? And that showed all sorts of births.

Original poster
LilyTheMink · 05/11/2021 20:04

@Dailywalk

I think I would have been even more terrified if I had! I was rather naive having my first! One BornEveryMinute was quite good? And that showed all sorts of births.
That is potentially a good programme. It wasn't around when I was pregnant.
OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 05/11/2021 20:06

We watched a video of one at high school, it traumatised me a fair bit and I can still remember what that poor womans vulva looked like when the baby was crowning!

MrsFin · 05/11/2021 20:07

How old are you? I'm
60, DDs mid 20s and OBEM was around before I was pregnant.

cptartapp · 05/11/2021 20:07

I did. I was 18 and a student nurse. It was really emotional. But she gave birth to a girl, and the first thing she said when baby was born to her DH was 'oh no, you wanted a boy!' That baby will be thirty this year.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 05/11/2021 20:07

Yes I did, I was a birth partner for my friend when we were teenagers.

Moonshine11 · 05/11/2021 20:08

Just one born every minute.
I was obsessed with it whilst pregnant

MegSpace · 05/11/2021 20:09

I'd watched one born every minute but that was the extent of it. Our antenatal classes were quite good in explaining the process and feelings, they had a model of the pelvis and a doll they pushed through to show how things worked and how different birth positions affected the babies progress and the second class had pictures of the muscles and discussed what happened from a physio point of view and what we could do to relieve labour pains etc, it was just the ones provided by NHS but very comprehensive and followed up by feeding workshop and safe sleep and travel.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 05/11/2021 20:09

@MrsFin

How old are you? I'm 60, DDs mid 20s and OBEM was around before I was pregnant.
OBEM first episode was 2010....
Original poster
LilyTheMink · 05/11/2021 20:09

@MrsFin

How old are you? I'm 60, DDs mid 20s and OBEM was around before I was pregnant.
Just googled - first episode was Feb 2010
OP posts:
BadNomad · 05/11/2021 20:14

We watched a video of a birth in 1st year of high school in biology class. I just remember the baby had a wild hairy head and was purple. It was gross.

Thehop · 05/11/2021 20:16

One born every limited drove me mad. Should have been called one intervention every minute, and I think it just made me think I had no choice over intervals and examinations.

I agree, though, more honesty would definitely jealous it be less of a shock!

DinosApple · 05/11/2021 20:17

I think there might have been a video in sex education that was a couple of minutes long, but never saw anyone giving birth properly irl or on TV.

OBEM was definitely not on television when DD1 was born in 2009, but I did watch it before DD2 was born.

Chocolatewheatos · 05/11/2021 20:18

I watched loads of videos. Not everyone wants to though

Dartsplayer · 05/11/2021 20:18

I did. I was my BF's birth partner. I had my DS 3 years later

ImSoMagical · 05/11/2021 20:21

Nope, the only day I ever scived school was when we had to watch a woman giving birth in sex education. I had no clue when I gave birth but tbh ignorance was bliss! 😁

EgonSpengler2020 · 05/11/2021 20:22

I'm a paramedic, before lunchtime on the first day of my maternity placement I saw an emergency CS, a planned CS, a forceps delivery in theatres (shoulder dystocia) and a ventouse delivery. Things did calm down after that with some more relaxed deliveries in the midwifery led unit.

Also one of my best friends is a obstertric horror story, Baby 1 25 weeker following amnio that introduced infection and turned out to have been unnecesarry; baby 2 forceps/episiotomy; baby 3 Placental abruption, crash CS, still birth; baby 4 CS.

What it taught me was to have an idea of what you'd like if the opportunity for choices does arrive, other than that go with the flow and really the only things that actually matters is that you walk out of hospital holding a healthy newborn within a reasonable timeframe. Anything above and beyond that is a happy bonus.

I actually found talking to my calamitous friend during pregancy really helpful, she is very open and frank about her experiences and help me put things into perspective and manage my expectations. Which I am grateful for.

SummerHouse · 05/11/2021 20:25

I saw a live birth. Yep, pretty traumatic. I honestly think it's in some ways worse for the birth partner. All that pain, and nothing you can do. Now I know as a person giving birth I was either out of it, or high on oxytocin and adrenaline. I much preferred giving birth to watching. Watched two, birthed two. It's two nill to giving birth. So I think it could be the opposite of reassurance. But I do see your point. I was obsessed with what the pain actually was, what hurts and why!?? I read a lot of books. I still thought it was the crowning that would hurt but I can't say as I noticed that, and I had a second and third degree tear. Confused

RAFHercules · 05/11/2021 20:26

I've watched cows calving. Giving birth to a baby was nowhere near as bad.

RandomMess · 05/11/2021 20:28

Nope never seen one, never held a baby, never changed a nappy.

mobear · 05/11/2021 20:28

No, and purposely didn't as I thought it would make it scarier.

stingofthebutterfly · 05/11/2021 20:31

Not before I have birth but then I trained as a midwife so have seen plenty since. I've never watched OBEM though.

SeaHollyDaiz · 05/11/2021 20:31

Nope, I hadn't. just seen positive birth company has posted some amazing pictures on Instagram. Not for the squeemish, but definately for those that are interested and prepared to be awe inspired!

Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 05/11/2021 20:33

OBEM is nothing like real life, neither is meet the midwife. If most women saw a birth before giving birth they probably would think twice!

Tricked2003 · 05/11/2021 20:39

I was 16 and doing some voluntary work in a small missionary hospital in the UAE, I watched a woman give birth to her 4th child, I was stood behind the midwife looking over her shoulder. The woman was disappointed to have another girl. She kept her veils on while giving birth. It was a privilege to be allowed to be there.
I had my first dc in 2005 and I had watched many births on TVshows. Contractions did feel like period pain to me ..........but my periods were so bad I used to pass out !