Would you get a babysitter for 13 year olds?

[ohtsmeagain]

I have a 13 year old, sensible, he likes staying home alone if I occasionally go to supermarket or gym in the daytime but I'm always home by 7pm and usually well earlier.

It's been almost two years since I've been out in the evening due to Covid but am now thinking about going on during the week once a month for drinks so wouldn't get home til 1130/midnight.

At what age do you stop getting babysitters for this? Personally I was actually working as a babysitter myself by the age of 13 but times have changed.

Yes, I would leave a 13yo alone at home if I was going out fairly locally and he was ok with it.

I think that depends on the child. My 13yr old wouldn’t like being left like that at all but her older brother would have been fine.

I’d be happy to leave them if they were happy to be left.

I wouldn’t get babysitter for a 13 year old.

I agree, it depends on the child. If he’s comfortable being indoors alone after dark. I wouldn’t stay out that late though as I would want to be back before he went to bed.

Depends on the child, and how far away you are (if you would hear your phone) / how quickly you could get back. Or if you had nice neighbours or a friend close by for reassurance.
I would have left any of mine at that age, but, like most things, it is something you build up to.
What about going for a meal or a drink or two locally until about 9 or 10 first ?

I wouldn't get a babysitter for a 13 year old. Feed him before you go and text him when it's bed time. As long as you're not far away I think it's fine. I live in a small town and it takes me max 15 mins to get home.

I'd do what someone else suggested and just go out for a few drinks and be home by 10 and see how he is

I would leave alone on school nights if you will be home by bedtime. Many teens would be tempted to stay up on screens until you drove up, or opened the door. On a non school night midnight would be reasonable. Start out with staying out to 2030 or so.

I would get a babysitter for a 13 year old, at that time.

It depends on the child, so only you know really. One of mine would have been fine at that age. The other has some additional needs and I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving them at that age.

One of the things that time has changed is the existence of mobile phones. It's actually much safer to leave a 13 yr old these days than it was in the past. I think it would be a bit humiliating and infantilizing for your son to bring in a babysitter.

When DS was that age we built it up gradually so would go out for a couple of hours and get back for 10.30- to be fair he is a good kid and just followed his normal routine- as long as your child is comfortable with it is what matters and you trust them. Also they are 100% clear on what to do in an emergency- eg fire/flood/burglars? Do you have neighbours and would they help?

I leave my 12yo for an evening but if her older siblings aren't home I do have family close by who I inform she'll be alone in case of emergencies.

For me, it would be entirely dependent upon how the DC felt about it. My DD was ok being left at that age, although I didn't do it for more than 30 mins or so. Many of her friends wouldn't have liked it.

I would leave my 13yo.

At 13 I was the babysitter!

My 13 year old Dd didn't like being left alone, so it depends on the child really. I wouldn't have stayed out till midnight though.

I think it's fine if the child is happy with it. But I'd stay local and keep in touch by text.

That’s quite late id try just going out for one drink first

At 13 I was the babysitter for my younger siblings but I do remember feeling uncomfortable when my patents stayed out late. I don't remember them ever phoning me to say they'd be late (pre mobiles of course).

13 is youngish to be going to bed alone in the house. Start by meeting a friend early evening?

I've left mine until 9:30 but she wouldn't be comfortable going to bed without me home. She's an only child, if she had older siblings I think we'd both be happier about it.

Of course it's fine. Ds1 and Ds2 have always loved being home alone.

I was babysitting till midnight at 14, so at 13 I would have been left for evenings no problem.

I think that's too young personally to be alone until that time.

At that age my daughter wasn’t happy about being home alone if it was late, so i’d be home by 9.30. She was good at telling me what she was comfortable with though. She’s an only child.