To move out of family home

[Neurodiversitydoctor]

This is outing so will name change after this thread. I am a hospital doctor married to an architect (this is relevant). On Monday DH is realising a long held ambition of getting the roof done and solar panels installed. We originally wanted to do it in the summer, I compromises on early October and here we are. The work is likely to take 2-3 weeks. I have come home tonight I found the boiler is broken, so we have no heating. I suggested to DH we postpone the work on the roof until at least the boiler is fixed/ replaced. He is determined to go ahead. I get up at 5:30 in the week and work ft, obviously I need to look presentable for work. AIBU to sort out some nice warm hospital accomadation for me and the DCs (12&15) while he "lives the dream"

Its too fucking cold here for that behaviour

Why wouldn't that be reasonable, as long as you can afford it?

I should probably say that as a junior doctor I regularly got back from 13 hour shifts to no kitchen/ no bathroom/ wall paper being stripped in the bedroom- you get the picture.

Yep.
I despise have work done in the house. Something always goes wrong and it takes at least twice as long as they said.

I'm so sorry, I always want to ask this but never do... how does changing your name stop it from being outing??

I will change my name afterwards. I know some of my friends are on mumsnet and would instantly recognise me and DH from this.

Wouldn't even be a question for me, I'd just do it.

You can't do without heating in this weather. Our boiler broke a month ago and it was bearable for the week it took to replace with showering at the gym. In this weather I'd have been straight to a hotel!

Can the boiler not be done at the same time as the roof work, or is it a money issue?

It will be, it's a temperature issue, taking the roof off with no heating.

I want to postpone the roof ideally til the spring, but at least until we have working heating.

We hired a holiday cottage for a 2-day boiler change...

Why suffer?

Definitely book the accommodation let DH live and love the real experience!

2-3 weeks for a panel install?
Who's doing that?

Sorry, just realised there's roofing refurb work aswell

Shower and eat in the hospital. Let dh sort the kids. But im evil lol

Yanbu not to want to live in a cold house with no heating whilst they roof is off part of it and major house renovations are going on. Nor subject your DCs to it!
Many people can't afford an alternative option but if you can and have hospital Accomodation available for you , then totally reasonable to do this temporarily whilst your DH is living his dream of project managing this big house alteration

It might help your marriage as well as your job!!

Our boiler blew the Friday night before we started a major renovation the following Monday. Delays had happened so it wasn't height of summer but early September. We spent 2 months with the back wall having been knocked out on day 2 of the job, before the extension was made weathertight. I had to survive with a sink (that moved place on a nearly daily basis), cooker (ditto) as my kitchen, fridge plugged into the sitting room and all my kitchen items piled in boxes there and the spare bedroom.

If I had known how disruptive it would have been, I would have moved out for at least 8 weeks. (Was supposed to be an 8 week job, turned into 17 and we kicked the builders out saying we'd finish the final snags ourselves on 23rd December...)

If you have alternative accommodation available, go for it. It's miserable at this time of year.

Definitely book alternative accommodation and leave DH to his project...

i don't understand why you wanted to do it in summer then changed to october. You mean summer just gone or next summer?

Can you arrange to get the boiler fixed? Don't wait for him to do it

@spaceghetto

I'm so sorry, I always want to ask this but never do... how does changing your name stop it from being outing??

So that people can't link this posts to other posts OP has made.

You're right, this thread is "outing" i.e. is quite recognisable so people might read it and think oh that's my friend/colleague/relative Sarah.

But because she's namechanged, they won't then be able to go and find any other posts she's made on Mumsnet that she might be embarrassed/cause problems for people she knows in real life to know about (thinking of moving 5000 miles away but don't know how to tell my family, DH and I have problems in the bedroom, eating bread gives me terrible wind, and so on...)

I totally understand where you're coming from. I too worked shifts (now retired police officer) & hated coming home from a night shift when my bathroom was being renovated! But mine was done in the summer time! Why is DH adamant that the roof is done in November? When it's bloody freezing? And with gas prices doubling? Could this not have been done in the summer? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Rich people problems. Peak mumsnet.

Yes, move out and leave him to it.

Do remind him to drain the pipes in the house, with no roof and no heating and cold weather, you dont want frozen and then burst pipes to add to the work load/hotel bill 😄

I dont see the problem with you moving out temporarily if you can but why did you ask him to postpone the roof work over the summer? We had our roof done at the beginning of September and it was perfect - so much less awful than it would have been to do it now.

So YANBU but neither is he for wanting to get on with it, rather than kicking the can down the road again.

@Hellokittyninja yes it's a well known fact that the poor have no rooves.