To think this is an unfair split of finances?

[troobleflooble]

Bf and I are talking about moving in together, not quite yet but as some point in the near future.

He owns his house and I rent. He earns a lot more than me, I unfortunately am on a very low income at the moment (hoping to change this in the future!). He also has pets and a lot of extra expenses that I don't have (car/life/pet insurance, subscription services etc) plus his mortgage so his outgoings are a lot more than mine.

He suggested that when the time comes I just pay half of all the bills while he continues to pay the mortgage on his own. I'm a bit uncomfortable with this because I don't see it as a fair split, if I stay at my place I'd be continuing to pay rent which I'm saving by living with him.

Just to make it clear, I wouldn't ever expect to get a share of the sale of his house based on 'paying in' to his mortgage, I would purely consider it 'rent' that he could use to pay off his mortgage earlier or save as he deems fit.

However, since my income is so low, is this actually a fair split? I've never lived with a partner who's had a mortgage before so any other time it's always been either a 50/50 split on everything regardless of income or I've paid 100% of everything due to being the breadwinner. I have no idea what would be fair for both of us! Please advise wise MNetters 😁

Not sure if this is the done way of doing things but could you work out how much extra his bills increase by having you there and pay that rather than 50/50.

Never been in your position myself so just throwing it out there.

I was in this situation and what worked for us was that I saved the equivalent of my rent money and then when we bought a house I had enough deposit to put into it. It was a good back up to have in case we didn’t buy together too. I paid half of household bills.

Why would you be paying his pet insurance and that?

@Tee20x

Not sure if this is the done way of doing things but could you work out how much extra his bills increase by having you there and pay that rather than 50/50.

Never been in your position myself so just throwing it out there.

That wouldn’t be fair though. What about the TV license for example? It wouldn’t cost him any extra for her to watch the TV, so he’d have to pay the whole thing himself and she’d save herself £160 a year. Same for phone and broadband. Or council tax - she’d only have to pay 25% and he’d pay 75%.

When my bf (now husband) moved in with me I owned the property and he had previously rented. We took everything into account and he paid me an amount of money in rent such that we were equally better off from him moving in. I think it was
about £300/month, but this was in 2010. Would this sort of thing work do you think?

This seems fair to me.

I have no issues paying half the bills, although I don't know exactly how much they are in total for the month I know there are a lot more of them than I pay. No expensive gym memberships or anything like that but certainly pet/home/life insurance, utilities are much higher at his place as it's a bigger house and some of mine are included in my rent cost. I'd be happy to pay a share of anything 'household' so yes to home (contents) insurance because my belongings would be covered under that when I move in but no to 'personal' bills like phone etc. I'd expect to pay my own for stuff like that too.

It does look like we'd both be a little better off in my example but it just feels weird to me to not pay any rent! I've been doing it so long it seems wrong not to 😂

@troobleflooble

I have no issues paying half the bills, although I don't know exactly how much they are in total for the month I know there are a lot more of them than I pay. No expensive gym memberships or anything like that but certainly pet/home/life insurance, utilities are much higher at his place as it's a bigger house and some of mine are included in my rent cost. I'd be happy to pay a share of anything 'household' so yes to home (contents) insurance because my belongings would be covered under that when I move in but no to 'personal' bills like phone etc. I'd expect to pay my own for stuff like that too.

It does look like we'd both be a little better off in my example but it just feels weird to me to not pay any rent! I've been doing it so long it seems wrong not to 😂

I think you should pay a token rent to cover the additional wear on tear on his house caused by you living there. He would be responsible for maintenance, but things like carpets and redecoration will need to be replaced more often with you living there too. So £1-200 per month as a token rent amount seems fair.

The really important thing is that you save the additional rent savings in an account in your name for your future security, rather than just spending them on treats and holidays. Living in his house as you suggest gives you no security whatsoever, and so you need to have something to fall back on should he ask you to leave (which he could do at a moment's notice)- money saved up for either a rental or mortgage deposit.